You can blame Mexicans for everything you want, but you cannot deny we are a resourceful bunch. Take the recent arrest of 6 fellows in Tijuana, who were caught red-handed stealing… well, pieces of the border wall to sell as scrap metal.

According to the Miami Herald:

Police in the Mexican border city of Tijuana say they have arrested six men for stealing pieces of the U.S. border fence to sell as scrap metal […] The Tijuana police department says the suspects intended to sell the steel sheeting as scrap.

Because, you know, climbing or digging underneath the border wall is now so passé!

The H1N1 virus might have stolen Cinco de Mayo’s thunder but in a Texas town I’ve never heard of, some girl claimed the Miss Cinco de Mayo title during the weekend.

“Carmen Ramirez, a Hudson High School senior, was crowned Miss Cinco de Mayo on Saturday at a small gathering at Kiwanis Park.”

Now, I don’t know exactly what such a title is all about, since we never had anything remotely similar down in Mexico, but she seems happy enough and -if you asked me- free of any kind of killer influenza.

¡Sí, se puede!

And speaking of God and his many talents, Hillary Clinton failed to acknowledge one of his mightiest deeds. Ever. During her recent visit to Mexico City’s Basílica de Guadalupe, the Secretary of State was so mesmerized by the sacred cloak of Juan Diego, that she couldn’t help but ask:

“And who did you say painted this thing?”

Thank goodness Monseñor Diego Monroy was at hand to provide the only correct answer.

“God!” he replied.

Of course. And you thought HE was only good at teaching English.

Mexican scientists have done it my friends: they claim they have come up with a píldora anticonceptiva… for men, which will allow them to do whatever it is they want to do without leaving any living traces behind.

According to a recent article in the Mexican press:

“A group of investigators at the Universidad Autónoma Metropolitana (UAM) have been working on this little wonder for over 2 years. The pill, which men will not have to take everyday, will allow them to ejaculate without releasing any sperm.”

Additionally, the male pill is NOT expected to make men fat, moody or make them feel like throwing things at you for no apparent reason.

Alas, this little wonder is not scheduled to hit Mexican pharmacies until around 2019, by which time we’ll all be old and bored anyway.

Nobody can accuse Mexicans of having ran out of ideas. Take the Northern state of Sinaloa, where a budding group of entrepreneurs are offering visitors tours associated with the state’s most dangerous drug lords.

“The tours include visits to their mansions and to the places where some high-profiled narcos have been killed,” according to press reports. Some of these visits are done riding a pulmonía, those golf-cart-type taxi substitutes that roam free on the roads of Mazatlán.

Alas, the Narcotours are apparently clandestine, and certainly not authorized nor promoted by Mexico’s Tourism Board.

Yet.

39,897 was the number of people who gathered this Saturday at Mexico City’s famous Zócalo to take part in a group smooch (el megabeso), easily beating the UK’s 2007 record when 32,648 people kissed in Weston-super-Mare.

¡Sí, se puede!

(Now we only have to find a way to beat the gringos at soccer. But I guess that’ll have to wait.)

Photo: Houston Chronicle