Hat tip: Hazme el Chingado Favor
U.S. Hispanics Brace for the Ominous Advent of Laura… [And it’s not Me]
U.S. Hispanics, rejoice: Starting today (Feb. 7) Laura Bozzo’s Laura talk show will launch on the TeleFutura network.
Bozzo has been torturing entertaining Latin American families for years, first in her native Peru (where not even a three-year house arrest took her show off the airwaves) and then on Mexico’s TV Azteca, with Laura de Todos. But this time, la señorita Laura is coming to the U.S. courtesy of Grupo Televisa, Univision’s partner and programming supplier.
The new show, which in Mexico is called Laura de México promises U.S. Hispanics a showcase of “real-world” family situations and, hopefully, some more avenging fights and coming out dramas exposing -and embarrassing- Latin America’s minimally-educated, lower classes like the one shown below.
Aren’t you glad television is embracing diversity?
Do you Love Metal and Mariachi? Meet Metalachi
When it comes to world music fusions, there are only a very few things that get my attention. Metalachi is one of them. Simply put: Metalachi is a heavy metal mariachi band hailing from -where else?- Los Angeles. The band, which according to their Web site originated in a Super Ocho motor lodge in Veracruz, Mexico, features covers of Judas Priest, Metallica and Iron Maiden, with a touch of trompeta, violín and guitarrón.
Here is Ozzy Osbourne’s Crazy Train… well, sort of:
Greg Creed Stands by His ‘Beef’…Even in Spanish
Taco Bell’s president Greg Creed did not want to miss the opportunity to include U.S. Hispanics in his staunch defense of his restaurant’s “beef.” But instead of embarrassing himself pretending to speak Spanish like some people we know, he took the safe road of subtitles.
Watch him stand by his “beef,” which contains a delicious mixture of beef, water (to keep it “moist and juicy,) seasoning, salt, chilli, pepper, onion, powder, oats, lecithin, sugar, spices, Maltodextrin, autolyzed yeast extract, citric acid, caramel color, Silicone dioxide, yeast, salt, sodium phosphates and modified corn starch. Yeah, just like the one your abuela prepares at home.
Maltodextring AND silicone dioxide???!!! That’s gotta be good!
David Bisbal Tweets His Way to Public Shame
Poor David Bisbal. Not even in his wildest dreams could he have imagined an innocent tweet would turn him quickly into the laughing stock of the World Wide Web. The Spanish singer this week took to Twitter to lament the uprising in Egypt, declaring:
“Egypt’s pyramids have never looked so desolated. Hopefully, this revolt will end soon.”
It only took about few minutes for Bisbal followers – and eventually everybody else – to make fun of his “profound reflection” on the political crisis in Egypt, prompting the “Turismo Bisbal” trending topic and sending one after another message mocking his remark. “I am changing channels on my TV but cannot find Panama’s,” read one. “I just saw the Sistine Chapel. For a ninja turtle, Michelangelo was not a bad painter,” read another one.
The public ridicule was such that the singer quickly deleted his post. Alas, it was already too late.
This story first appeared on Voxy.com
I Would Like to Thank Mr. James May for Putting Speedy González on Twitter Map
I was just about to turn the page on the whole Top Gear brouhaha, when I bumped into James May on Twitter. Fake or real, he seems to be all upset and shit because Mexicans keep complaining.
I am not going to get into the whole “how-to-tell-the Brits-they-have-no-right-to-talk-about-shit-food” thing… Basically, I’d just like to encourage him (or whoever it is posing as him) to continue his Mexican-themed tweets. I can’t wait to see #speedygonzalez as trending topic.
Ajúa!
Watch Some Brits Making Derogatory Comments about Mexicans [and Thinking They’re Funny]
Yeah, if Mexicans were to develop a sports car, we will call it a fried tortilla or something like that… But maybe we won’t because -according to these not-so-bright-nor-funny BBC commentators- all we Mexicans do is sleep, sleep and then sleep some more.
I hear the Mexican government is asking the BBC for an apology, which is OK, I guess.
As for me, I would go a little farther and ask them instead to learn to be genuinely funny, like some Brits can actually be.
Hat tip: Keith Dannemiller
I Just Found the Perfect Visual for my Future Hispanic Breast Surgery Business. Thanks, Twitter!
Sofía Vergara and her two Golden Globes just tweeted this from the SAG Awards in Hollywood. And I’m wondering how long it will take for a Hispanic plastic surgeon to jump on this promo opportunity.
Photo: @SofiaVergara at Twitter.com/sofiavergara
Are you Latin or Latin Looking? Pepsi Needs You!
Attention Latin and Latin looking [sic] people! Pepsi is looking for you, and giving you a chance to make some extra dinerito. Apparently, all you have to do is watch Raising Victor Vargas, and look like an everyday, regular Hispanic, but attractive. Piece of cake!
Here is the original casting call, sent out to this blogger by a loyal -anonymous- reader and via casting company Impossible Casting. Enjoy!
From: Impossible Casting <info@impossiblecasting.com>
Sent: Fri, January 21, 2011 6:52:43 PM
Subject: – Impossible Casting – PEPSI PRINT
NY LATINS NEEDED FOR PEPSI PRINT
TYPE: PRINT
CLIENT: PEPSI
SHOOT LOCATION: NYC
RATE: $900 FLAT FEE
USAGE: Unlimited unrestricted all media except for broadcast, for unlimited time worldwide
SHOOT DATES: February 19, 20 and 21.
DESCRIPTION: Real People Feel and Vibe! A range in Hispanics represented from, Mexican American to Puerto Rican to Dominican…etc. Authenticity is very important. Attractive and approachable but not too beautiful. Should not look like actors. Should look like everyday,
regular people but attractive. Interesting faces, but not too character-y.
LATIN OR LATIN LOOKING
ROLE ONE: MALE 18-19 LATIN (URBAN VIBE SEE RAISING VICTOR VARGAS)
ROLE TWO: FEMALE 18-19 LATIN (URBAN VIBE SEE RAISING VICTOR VARGAS)
ROLE THREE: MALE 25-27 LATIN
ROLE FOUR: FEMALE 25-27 LATIN
ROLE FIVE: MALE 30-50 LATIN
ROLE SIX: FEMALE 30-50 LATIN
TO SUBMIT: EMAIL PICTURES AND CONTACT INFO TO: SOFTDRINK@IMPOSSIBLECASTING.COM
This blogger was very tempted to apply, but then again my friends tell me I look a bit too “character’y” so I guess I’ll have to pass. What a bummer.
Watch NFL Latino Superstar Mark Sanchez Treat Teammate as Human Tissue
Yeah… This is just what we needed to get the U.S. media say more nice things about us, The Mexicans.
Watch Latino NFL superstar Mark Sanchez pick his nose and then wipe a booger on teammate Mark Brunell Sunday night… [all while losing 19 to 24 to the Steelers in what could have been their ticket to the Super Bowl XLV.)
I recall seeing plenty of Kleenex growing up in Mexico. I swear.
U.S. Gives Mexicans a Warm Welcome [Not Really]
Don’t believe everything you hear about the U.S. not wanting any more Mexicans. In fact, the U.S. government has just put in place a system to offer Mexicans -and other international travelers- a hassle-free entry into the U.S. Say what?
Aptly named Global Entry, the program allows international travelers (Mexicans included, of course) to use electronic kiosks at 20 U.S. airports to bypass the long passport processing lines. According to Global Entry’s Web site:
Though intended for frequent international travelers, there is no minimum number of trips necessary to qualify for the program. Participants may enter the United States by using automated kiosks located at select airports.
Alas, it looks like only a small portion of my paisanos will be able to enjoy the program, as it applies exclusively to travelers with a valid passport and U.S. visa.
Oh, and did I mention it costs $100? I guess membership does has its privileges!
Philly Union Not Happy at Prospect of Wearing ‘This’
And speaking of popular clothing, The Philadelphia Union, a MLS team, is undergoing its own T-shirt drama: Thanks to a multimillion dollar sponsorship by Mexican food giant Grupo Bimbo, the team’s players are going to have to run around wearing the company’s logo or -as many are already calling it, the “offending moniker” BIMBO.
The season hasn’t even started, but some fans are speaking up about the whole thing. At least one fan has said she would not attend games with her kids until the misogynistic slur was removed from the team players chests.
“Misogynistic”? Wait ’till she gets her hands on a Negrito Bimbo. I’m sure she will throw a fit.
Watch below to see Philly Union’s CEO talk about Bimbo and the sacred ground that is the team’s jersey:
Polo Ralph Lauren Might be Overlooking Huge Branding Opportunity in Mexico
I don’t know you, but if I were the marketing fellows at Polo Ralph Lauren I would be jumping on a major branding opportunity going on right now South of the Rio Grande: For some strange reason, it looks like every crook, rapist, kidnapper, drug dealer we succeed in catching, show up wearing the exact same type of Polo Ralph Lauren shirt, looking as proud as I would be wearing a pair of Prada shoes.
Will Polo Ralph Lauren wake up and smell the café? If not, can the rest of us try to persuade these fellows to switch brands so at least some of us can make a little out of the whole thing? Por favor?!
Hat tip: Hazme el chingado favor
Hugo Chávez Thinks ’12 Corazones’ Reduces Relationships to Genitals. I Beg to Differ
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d know by now Venezuela’s Hugo Chávez has banned a bunch of television shows, including two of Telemundo’s blockbusters, Caso Cerrado and 12 Corazones, denouncing them as “degrading” and even claiming the latter “reduces relationships to genitals.”
Ay, señor Chávez, usted siempre tan exagerado… I’ve seen dozens of clips like the one posted above and to this day, I have seen no genitals. Yet.
De Niro Preps New Film: ‘The Deported’
It didn’t take long for Latino activists and other minority media vigilantes to slam actor Robert De Niro for what they deemed a racist remark last night at the Golden Globes Awards ceremony: In trying to be funny, the actor mumbled something about waiters -and Javier Bardem- not being there because they were deported… or something.
Watch it and judge for yourself… As for me, I am not really offended as a Latina or even an immigrant… I’m mostly offended as a funny person: I think my jokes about deported people are waaaaaaay funnier. But, hey, that’s just me!
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 