The Milwaukee Taco Fest Is all that Is Wrong with America

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If you thought Cinco de Mayo was the ultimate Mexican-themed ridiculousness in America, wait till you see the inner workings of the Milwaukee Taco Fest, an annual extravaganza promising attendees “a day of taco tasting, tequila, margaritas, cervezas and tons of great entertainment.”

And by “great entertainment” we’re not talking about just any great entertainment, no señor, we’re talking live wrestling, a taco-eating contest and — of course — a Chihuahua beauty pageant.

Screen Shot 2016-04-13 at 1.02.35 PMAre you cringing yet?

I’m just about to go shoot myself, but you would be well advised to hold onto your sombreros because this thing is happening real soon and — unfortunately — there’s no stopping them.

Sombrero tip: Gil

 

Canelo Álvarez to Help Tecate ‘Amplify Modern Masculinity’

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Canelo

Tecate has launched its first national campaign in the U.S. featuring none other than Mexican boxing superstar Saúl “El Canelo” Álvarez. In a 30-second-spot, we see Mr. Álvarez being hailed — and carried (literally) — as some kind of King of bling bling only to jump on the ring like a champ and remind us that “he is always bold but never flashy.”

According to Adweek, Tecate’s Born Bold campaign is an effort to further “amplify modern masculinity” (whatever that means) among Hispanics and non-Hispanics alike.

“The primary target is still the Hispanic consumer,” brand director Belen Pamukoff told Adweek. “But as a secondary target, we have the general market.”

A second TV spot features a veteran referee losing his patience for one player’s attempt to draw a foul call against his opponent finally drawing the dreaded red card, something I believe is also an effort to “amplify modern masculinity.”

Anyhow, here goes.

Please watch and let me know: Did the spot help amplify your modern masculinity?

Pope Francis Wins ‘First-ever Telemundo Innovation Award’ — for some Reason

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sombrero Pope Francis

Today in awkward, Hispanic-related news…

Pope Francis is the proud recipient of the first-ever Telemundo Innovation Award, which was conceived by Telemundo to honor an individual innovator “whose work has explored new trends, showcased pioneering spirit and greatly impacted society.”

According to a very long press release, Pope Francis was chosen for his “innovative approach to redefining religion in a social and digital world.” This, I’m sure, has to do with the fact that he just joined Instagram (better late than never) and has, like, six Twitter accounts (who has the time?)

Anyhow, I thought you’d also like to know that this very important award was announced during an equally paramount event: Hispanicize 2016, taking place in — where else? — Miami.

¡Ay dios mío!

Via Broadcasting & Cable

 

¡Ándale, Ándale! Speedy Gonzales Preps for Hollywood Debut

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Speedy-Gonzales

If everything goes according to plan, my childhood hero will soon be the star of his own animated feature film.

According to Deadline.com, Warner Bros. is already working on a Speedy Gonzales movie with producers Dylan Sellers and Mexican comedian Eugenio Derbez, who will be charged with voicing the ultrafast, sombrero-wearing little mouse.

Details are still sketchy, but news of a Speedy Gonzales feature film come at a very convenient time for Presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton, who has found inspiration in this witty mouse to try to get my people (i.e. The Hispanics) vote for her.

¡Ándale, ándale! ¡Arriba, arriba!

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Peru Sex Worker Vows to Put Order in the Brothel that is Congress

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"Let's make the Congress a respectable brothel."
“Let’s make Congress a respectable brothel.”

Angela Villón, a Peruvian sex worker, has been very active of late trying to snatch a seat in the country’s congress.

A native of Lima, Villón is running for El Frente Amplio, a coalition of leftist parties and movements, in Peru’s general and legislative elections this month. She is one of more than 2,600 candidates for 130 seats in Peru’s legislative chamber.

I am not sure if she will make it, but voters would be well-advised to pay attention. As Villón says in one of her awesome video campaign ads [below]: She is “a decent whore, determined to make Congress a respectable brothel.” (Una puta decente que hará del congreso un burdel respetable).

[Rimshot]

Hat tip: Iván Cordalupo

As Part of Ongoing Effort to Compete with New York, San Francisco Does Decent Tacos

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I am not going to go into the whole East-Coast-Tacos-Are-Better-Than-California-Tacos-Controversy-Thing….

But, Tania González this week took this blogger to El Pato, a Downtown San Francisco joint serving pretty decent tacos: I spotted corn tortillas, chicken tinga, carne asada, refried beans, home-made salsa and more. (Heck, I even had an agua de sandía)

I still have to explore the real San Francisco, but judging from what I’ve seen so far, I can only say one thing: Not bad.

I Don’t Know you, but I’ll be Meeting with La Migra in April

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IMG_4965

Awww, New York City! — home of Mariachi Santas, Dominican sushi and life-size cardboard mariachis — is now proud to introduce you to La Migra, a Mexico-based norteño band that promises to rock your world on Friday April 8 in The Bronx.

According to a promo that has been plastered all over my neighborhood, La Migra will be soon playing at El Palenque, and the venue promises to let everybody in. Yes, EVERYBODY WILL BE ALLOWED TO COME IN.

Are you listening, Border Patrol?

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem 2016

The Bernie Sanders Corrido Will Have you Feel ‘El Quemazón’

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quemazon

What better way to show your love for Bernie Sanders than writing a song about feeling the burn … in Spanish?

That’s exactly what Grupo La Meta has done. The Mexican-American band from Modesto, California, has written El Quemazón, an homage to the Bernie Sanders, so that my people can also “Feel the Bern.”

He’s the man with a vision to better this country […] He’s running for president but the rich don’t want him. Bernie Sanders is his name. Now you’re going to feel his burn.

¡Ajúa!

Via: Adrián Carrasquillo

President Obama Does Latin America; Has more Fun than you

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ObamaTango

After a historic visit to Cuba, where he posed next to El Ché, learned how to salsa, sipped mojitos and smoked cigars, President Barack Obama this week made his way to Argentina, his first official visit to the South American country.

Barely hours after the Air Force One touched down in the Argentinean capital, the Obamas found themselves wrapping their legs around perfect strangers.

Oh, and how they enjoyed it!

Mexicans Will Pay for Trump’s Wall Because Everyone Loves Paying for Sh*it they Don’t Want

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Over the weekend, HBO’s Last Week Tonight host John Oliver decided to break down Donald Drumpf’s border wall plan, an idea which he likens to getting a pet walrus: “You think it’s stupid now—wait until you learn what a bucket of sea cucumbers costs. You’re not prepared for that.”

Watch as Oliver “seriously” breaks down Drumpf’s wall for a little over 18 minutes. The result is, well, hilarious.

Obama Talks to Pánfilo: It’s not Que Bolá, It’s Qué Bolá. Qué Lío

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ObamaPanfilo

Oh yes!

Before his historic (and hysterical) trip to Havana, Cuba, President Obama called Luis Silvia (aka Pánfilo), a retired, not-too-bright Cuban man who plays a (subtle) satire of how Cuban people often have to use their wits to escape the poverty and absurdity of life in modern communist Cuba.

In a video of the skit posted by the U.S. Embassy in Havana, Pánfilo ends up getting connected directly to Obama in the Oval Office only to be tangled up in the whole Qué bolá (or is it Qué bóla?) thing.

Watch, anyway, and let’s discuss this tomorrow. This blogger is too “Bolá” to make any more sense tonight.