Romney is NOT Mexican, But He Wouldn’t Mind Univision Spreading the Word Out

As everybody knows by now, Univision’s Jorge Ramos this week sat down with both Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney to discuss some issues relevant to the Latino voter, for example, when and how are they going to bomb Cuba and kill the Castros.

However, this blogger’s favorite moment came when Romney denied being Mexican-American, but yet asked Ramos to spread the word out, thinking that little “white lie” would get him ahead among the Latino electorate.

You don’t believe me? Just watch!

 

Univision’s Randy Falco Faces Tough Job Ahead

You should always trust this blogger when she tells you someone is onto something.

Not sure you remember this, but Univision’s COO Randy Falco was hard at work May 19th posing for the cameras and showing Univision’s owners he was not only fit for the top job, but could easily hang out with some of the network’s big-breasted most talented people.

Falco today was appointed Univision’s President and Chief Executive Officer (CEO).

Congrats, Randy, now can you go get some Spanish lessons?

Here’s Your Chance to See Jorge Ramos in Tanga! Well, Maybe Not

As soon as I heard the news of Univision launching a summer campaign featuring its entire talent, I grabbed a mojito and a good pair of reading glasses, ready to see for the first time a scantily-clad news anchor…man.

Alas, while there’s plenty of skin shown by the likes of Chiquinquirá Delgado, Patricia Espinoza, Karla Martinez and Bárbara Bermudo, Jorge Ramos appears not only fully-clothed, but wearing a long sleeve shirt, a pair of jeans and shoes. Shoes!

Come on, Univision! Can you for once think about us girls?

P.S. I did notice that Raúl de Molina and Don Francisco also appear fully clothed… and I will ever be grateful for that.

Univision’s Nastassja Bolívar is Proof that You Can be Beautiful and Read Books, Consult Dictionaries

Nastassja Bolivar, the winner of Univision’s Nuestra Belleza Latina 2011 contest is proof that no matter how statuesque you are, there is always time for literature and language learning.

Throughout the competition, Bolivar had to grapple with a huge obstacle: Her lack of fluency in Spanish.

But she is doing something about it, holding books and dictionaries wherever she goes.

Watch her pose for the cameras while holding what looks to be The RAE Dictionary.

Congratulations, Nastassja! As your new employer would say: Es el momento

Cristina Saralegui Thanks Don Johnson for the Opportunity to Work at Telemundo: LOL

OK this is one of those situations in which you had to be there to enjoy the moment… Fortunately for you, readers, I was there, when Cristina Saralegui took to the state at the Telemundo upfront this week in Manhattan to bitch about Univision for quite some time and then profusely thank Don Johnson for giving her the opportunity to host a new show on Telemundo.

“The tiny terror is back,” Cristina told a crowd of 1,200 at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City Tuesday night. “Thank you, Don Johnson, for the opportunity.”

I want to believe Mrs. Saralegui meant to say Don Browne, as in the president of Telemundo… but who knows?

I’ll never be able to fully understand these Miami people.

Univision Realizes Not all Hispanics Eat Tamales, Speak Only Spanish, Watch Telenovelas

You can love or hate Univision; but one thing is certain: The message the network wants to send out to the world has changed radically from the years of Perenchio and his lieutenants, when talking about an English-speaking Latino was almost cause for termination of employment.

The Census might not bring about a revolution but someone at the 800-pound-gorilla has realized it is no longer Spanish only. Novelas only. Tamales only. When you have a population of 50.4 million people, you cannot assume everybody eats tamales or watches Univision’s nightly telenovelas. [I for one have very little tolerance for both.]

Now, Univision will have to work hard to change some of its programming to better reflect this so-called New America.

I’m just sayin’….

Univision CEO Joe Uva Leaves Post to ‘Be Able to Seek Other Opportunities,’ Namely Unemployment

Univision CEO Joe Uva has left the company to “be able to seek other opportunities,” Univision announced today.

But what’s really weird is that they don’t want to tell me where the hell it is that he is going, and rumor has it that he might have gotten the boot. His last day is April 2.

I don’t know you guys but I feel a bit sorry for the guy. After all those years of tireless work and efforts, he didn’t even have time to master his Spanish… But he shouldn’t worry too much. Judging from his stellar appearance as a piragüero in one scene of the hit Brodway show In the Heights, I’m sure he’ll be able to find a gig in the barrio.

His specialty? Piraguas de Uva!

Buena suerte, Mr. Uva. I’ll look you up among my neighborhood’s piragüeros.

U.S. Hispanics Brace for the Ominous Advent of Laura… [And it’s not Me]

U.S. Hispanics, rejoice: Starting today (Feb. 7) Laura Bozzo’s Laura talk show will launch on the TeleFutura network.

Bozzo has been torturing entertaining Latin American families for years, first in her native Peru (where not even a three-year house arrest took her show off the airwaves) and then on Mexico’s TV Azteca, with Laura de Todos. But this time, la señorita Laura is coming to the U.S. courtesy of Grupo Televisa, Univision’s partner and programming supplier.

The new show, which in Mexico is called Laura de México promises U.S. Hispanics a showcase of “real-world” family situations and, hopefully, some more avenging fights and coming out dramas exposing -and embarrassing- Latin America’s minimally-educated, lower classes like the one shown below.

Aren’t you glad television is embracing diversity?

Univision Celebrates ‘Día de los Muertos’ by Killing ‘El Show de Cristina’

After more than 20 years on the air, Univision’s long-running talk show El Show de Cristina is coming to an end. The final episode will air tonight @10 PM (ET) .

The famous Cuban-American host said she was let go for being ‘vieja.’ Yet, she also anticipated “new and exciting” projects, including a TV show coming in the spring.

No word yet on when Sábado Gigante will get the ax, though if you asked me, I think Don Francisco has stamina for another 50 years.

Eva Luna’s Secret is Out: Pizzas, Phones and Cars

SPOILER ALERT: Attention, telenovela fans, if you prefer to be pleasantly surprised Monday night, please don’t read this post.

Turns out the “secret” behind Univision’s much-hyped upcoming Eva Luna is finally out: According to The Hollywood Reporter, the telenovela, which will premiere Nov. 1, will give viewers plenty of product placements by marketers including General Motors, Domino’s Pizza and T-Mobile.

That way, Hispanic TV viewers will be able to savor the wonders of advertising even before -and after- watching the actual commercials.

Isn’t that just freaking dandy?

Piolín Gives Obama Wide Range of Topics to Discuss

You can say anything you want about Eddie “Piolín” Sotelo, but the guy sure knows how to interview a president. The influential radio personality (and former undocumented Mexican) kicked off  a one-on-one interview with Barack Obama this Monday by offering the president four possible topics of conversation:

EPS: I’m gonna give you the option, you know, which topic would you like me to begin with.

POTUS: We can talk about anything you want, Piolín.

EPS: I’m gonna give you options. Multiple choice. Are you ready?

POTUS: I am.

EPS: A.) Immigration reform B.) Immigration reform, C.) Immigration reform or D.)  All of the above.

POTUS: I think I’ll take D.) All of the above

Click here to hear the rest of the interview until the end. I’m happy enough with the way it began.