Univision Series for ‘Billennials’ Is Mix of Comedy, Drama, Emojis and Plenty of Profanity

TenemosQueHablar

In an ongoing effort to pursue millennials (aka good-for-nothings-who-are-obsessed-with-Snapchat) Univision today announced the launch of Tenemos que hablar, a Spanish-language web series that follows “the rocky, and often hilarious, long-distance relationship between 20-year-old Emilia and her boyfriend Bobi‎, who just moved from Mexico to Miami.”

Filmed in Mexico and Miami, the 12-episode series features “YouTube stars” Daniel Tovar and Ricardo Polanco, whom I’m sure are very well known in their respective households and among millennials and billennials (as Univision calls bilingual millennials.) The series will be available only on Univision.com and on Univision’s YouTube channel, because as everybody knows, millennials are a lazy, pathetic bunch that cannot afford cable and won’t watch TV anyway.

Besides, given the excess amount of expletives, I’m sure it will be a headache trying to air this thing to on broadcast television.

As for myself, I’m pretty sure I won’t be watching. After all, I’m on my way to becoming healthier, wealthier and — OF COURSE– wiser.

 

Dating a Latina Will Make you Fat [and Other Insights from Univision’s Millennial Channel]

DatingALatinaUnivision

Looks like Univision decided NOT to listen to me, so it went ahead to launch Flama, an English-language video channel, which according to ADWEEK, has “an eye on Hispanics between ages 15 and 30,” (aka Hispanic millennials.)

The channel, which is being sponsored by condom maker Trojan and Big Mac maker McDonald’s, features videos on comedy, music, lifestyle and sports.

The following video -inexplicably tagged as comedy- is a 4-minute-plus rant about what non-Latinos should expect from dating a Latina. And no, you don’t have to spend 4:09 minutes of your life watching it.

I watched it entirely, so you don’t have to and here’s the gist of it:

  • Latinas are crazy
  • Dating a Latina will make you fat (even if they cook with Mazola)
  • We love to cook tamales and pozole and quesadillas
  • If you are going to be in a relationship with a Latina, you should consider joining  Weight Watchers
  • We [Latinas] are clingy
  • We are like your probation officer but with sex -and frijoles

Or, you can watch… But don’t say I didn’t warn you.