Author: Mi Blog es tu Blog

Texas School Urges Children to Study and Be ‘Seasoned’ Like a Beef Fajita

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When it comes to our children education, no efforts should be spared… even if you live in Texas, whose Board of Education this month decided to re-write History.

That is why Crockett Elementary School in Dallas last week hosted a school assembly and invited motivational speaker Fabian Ramirez to encourage students to do their best on the upcoming Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) test. Speaking to 200 kids that are scheduled to take the test in April, Ramírez went straight to the point:

“You have to be seasoned before you get grilled,” he said while holding 2 pounds of seasoned beef fajitas in the air before laying a portion over an electric grill. “Seasoned students are well done after they have been grilled.”

While this blogger greatly appreciates the metaphor, I think Mr. Ramírez should have added that failing the TAKS would turn these children into a bunch of burritos.

Puerto Rican Man in New York, Pissed Because ‘Hispanic’ Is Not a Race

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I thought I had heard everything about the 2010 Census, including NALEO’s efforts to get us off our tía’s couch and the Jesus-Caesar Augustus connection. But this one takes the cake: Turns out a Puerto Rican security guard in Bronx, New York, this week refused to fill out his Census form, because “Hispanic” was not an option under the Race box.

“For me to see this I feel kind of offended,” Richard Robles told WPIX.

And, why wouldn’t he? After all, for reasons I yet have to understand, the U.S. Census considers “Vietnamese,” “Korean” and “Japanese” a race. So, continuing that logic: If Korean people are of the “Korean race”, and “Vietnamese” people are from the “Vietnamese race,” I urge Mr. Robles’ to check himself as a proud member of the Puerto Rican race.

As for myself, I was truly offended “Human” was not an option; so I had to use the “Some other race –print race” space to spell out N.P.I. (Ni Pinche Idea)

Salma Hayek Wants to Clean Your Guts… and Apparently Also Your Wallet

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Not content with being married to, like, one of the richest men on the planet, Mexican bombshell Salma Hayek is launching Cooler Cleanse, a line of “hydraulically pressed cleansing juices” aimed at making us all look fabulous… just like her.

According to TMZ.com serious journalistic sources, Cooler Cleanse comes in 5 gut-busting flavors: green juice, grapefruit mint, beets and apples, young coconut water, and nut milk sweetened with dates.

Salma’s “hydraulic diet” is said to cost about $58 a day, which is kind of OK if you’re married to a millionaire and all.

Personally, my finances are “hydraulically squeezed” right now, so I will stick to Dr. Manny’s advice and run to my nearest bodega for my $2-a-pound bag of tomatillos.

U.S. ‘Taqueros’ Join Immigration Cause

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I always knew there was nothing like a good taco to get people moving. That is why I was happy to learn about Tacos for Justice, an initiative launched by a group of food vendors to raise money towards the fight for immigration reform.

According to California’s Valley Star, taco vendors are giving discounts to customers and at the same time contributing to the national Immigrant Justice Campaign by accepting coupons at their taco trucks and restaurants throughout the country.

As of March 18, three days before Sunday’s march for Immigration Reform in Washington, D.C., more than one million discount coupons to participating restaurants and lunch trucks had been distributed.

This blogger will gladly participate, but can I get a torta ahogada, instead?

Tostitos Ad Makes Me Want to Move to Seville and Eat Lots of Fake Mexican Food

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I’m sure you’ve read all the complaints about the Tostitos ad that premiered this year during the Super Bowl. Some bloggers have rightly stated that it only perpetuates the stereotypical image of Latin women, while others simply fail to see the connection between gringo-made salsa and flamenco dancing.

As for this blogger, there is only one thing I’d really like to know: Where is this lady’s nose?!! Anyone?

I Missed National Tortilla Chip Day. I’m Now Officially Ashamed of Myself

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I guess I’ve been in this country far too long… So long, that I spent the whole day yesterday (Feb. 24) worrying about the whole re-design of the hot-dog thing, and failed to acknowledge it was National Tortilla Chip Day.

This holiday, so they tell me, is honored by millions of Mexicans -and Mexican food-lovers- nationwide, and calls for a day-long visit to your favorite Mexican eatery looking for the best dips and salsas around.

Alas, I totally missed it.

I just hope my dozens thousands of readers will forgive this blogger for the oversight. I can only promise to pay better attention in the future to such matters concerning my heritage.

[In the meantime, I’m off to my weekly meeting to discuss the upcoming -and inevitable- re-design of the torta de tamal.]

José José Becomes Latest Hispanic Famous Person to Launch Fragrance

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Mexican legendary singer José-José has joined the throngs of Latino celebrities pitching a fragrance of their own. But unlike other Latino-themed aromas, the proceeds from José-José’s eau de parfum (should there be any) are expected to help the fight against HIV.

Other Latin luminaries flaunting their own aroma and whose sales might -or might not- go to a charitable cause- include Paulina Rubio, who launched Oro in 2009; Rafa Márquez, with RM, la Esencia del Triunfo; Antonio Banderas, with “masculine’ scents Spirit, Diavolo and Mediterraneo (Ay, ay, ay!) Niurka Marcos’ con feromonas thing, Alejandro Sanz, David Bisbal and, of course, Jennifer Lopez’ Glow.

Green with envy, this blogger has started working on her own smelly concoction: “My Smell is Your Smell,” available soon in your nearest bodega.

Tired of Waiting for Your U.S. Residency Papers? Try Becoming Miss Universe First

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If you have been waiting, like, forever for your U.S. residency -or citizenship- papers, worry no more. Immigration lawyer and former Mayor of Englewood, New Jersey Michael Wildes can help… as long as you are, ahem, a Miss Universe.

A press release sent out this week by Wildes & Weinberg informs us that:

“Michael Wildes has been hired to serve as legal counsel to Miss Universe 2009, Stefania Fernandez. The appointment marks the third Miss Universe that Wildes & Weinberg has represented. In addition to Fernandez, the firm serves as counsel to Miss Universe 2009, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, and assisted Miss Universe 1976, Rita Messinger of Israel, in obtaining U.S. citizenship.”
So now you know it: If you are like most of us who have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more for the INS to make things happen, I’m sure you’ll appreciate knowing there might be other some alternatives out there.

Of course, you will need to spend some time -and money- on your costume.

Shakira, World Bank Launch $300M Initiative. Socks for Former Chief Not in the Agenda

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Attention Shakira lovers -and World Bank haters: The Colombian singer is expected to announce today (Monday, Feb. 22) a $300 million joint initiative with the World Bank aimed “at expanding development programs for young children in Latin America.”

According to the World Bank:

“The Early Childhood Initiative: An Investment for Life seeks to mobilize policy makers, public opinion and resources towards the adoption of Early Childhood programs in the region, which have proven to be critical in helping kids achieve their full potential in life.”

Shakira will join World Bank’s president, Robert B. Zoellick, at an event in Washington D.C on Monday, February 22 at 1pm EST.
No word yet if any of these resources will be pumped into Shakira’s own Pies Descalzos Foundation, but perhaps Zoellick will want to set some money aside to help colleague and former World Bank prez Paul “He Wolf” get a new pair of socks.

Perhaps?

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Fiscally conservative Paul Wolfowitz entering the Selimiye Mosque in Turkey (2007)

Hispanic Members of the CSPCNMAL Inch Closer to Potential Museum Possibility

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latino-museum__1255470839_3443.jpgAre you clueless about Latino culture?

Worry no more. The Nobel-prize-winning Obama administration this week got a step closer to the creation of a National Latino Museum in Washington.

A dedicated commission, aptly named “The Commission to Study the Potential Creation of a National Museum of the American Latino,” (from now on referred to as the CSPCNMAL) has retained two companies -Balsera Communications and República — to outline a work schedule aimed at completing the report and submitting it to Congress before the end of the year.

Spearheaded by Spanish tortilla empresaria Eva Longoria (aka La prieta fea) and Emilio “Lord of Miami” Estefan, the commission is working in determining how this national museum would best serve in portraying the history and culture of Latinos in the U.S.

It is yet to be seen how the CSPCNMAL will manage to raise the estimated $300 million needed for the thing. But I’m confident this will happen: aren’t Latinos the trillion-dollar opportunity?

[The group should feel free to contact this blogger, who is willing -an able- to lend a hand. Nothing would make me happier than becoming a member of CSPCNMAL.)

Washington Hispanics Excel at Spanish. I Want to Move There to Excel at Something

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Of all the shocking revelations I’ve been exposed to lately, this one takes the cake: Hispanics and Chinese students are packing college-level Spanish and Chinese language classes and acing their AP tests at rates far higher than their English-speaking peers.

According to the Washington Examiner:

In Maryland, Virginia and D.C., public school students identified as Mexican-American, Puerto Rican or “other Hispanic” passed Advanced Placement Spanish language and literature exams at a rate of nearly 80 percent, compared with less than 60 percent of their white peers and less than 30 percent of black students.

This state of affairs has some native, U.S.-born English speakers kind of upset, because not only we are taking their jobs but we are beating them to language proficiency. [It also has made me kind of jealous since I’ve never really excelled at anything.]

Hat tip: F. Benitez

Slipped on Banana Peel? ‘Meta un Sú’ and Don’t Let a Douchebag Ruin Your Life

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If you ever need to sue somebody in “Cuban” and –more specifically– in Miami, you’d be better off hiring a professional lawyer and, more importantly, stay away from the douchebags (mequetrefes).

By using the wonderful, un-translatable and cubanísimo concept of meter un sú (to sue somebody) a company in Bloca Raton, Fla. urges U.S. Hispanics to look for the best legal counsel instead of letting some mequetrefe (incompetent fool?) ruin your life as a consequence of an accident.

According to Metounsu.com, theirs is the place to go online when one seeks to meter un sú, whether you’ve been bitten by a dog, being involved in a car accident or -as their logo suggests- slipped on banana peel.

Do You Think This is Too White? Try Watching Some Spanish-Language Television

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Once again, Vanity Fair magazine is under fire for portraying what critics describe as a very narrow -and white- face of America. At stake is the magazine’s Hollywood 2010 issue, which hits newsstands Feb. 9 and features a group of carefully coiffed, pretty young girls… all of them white.

But before you burn your VF past issues, cancel your subscription or join the growing ranks of Vanity Fair detractors, let me fill you in on a little secret: Not even the supposedly more diverse Hispanic media wants to portray anything other than Swedish-looking Latin Americans.

Have you ever watched a Univision or a Telemundo telenovela? Do you know what the networks’ main news anchors look like? When was the last time you saw a black-skinned Latino on television? (no, not the ones being caught in Cops).

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Univision’s ‘El Show de Cristina’ (left) and Grupo Televisa’s ‘Querida Enemiga’