Somebody Should Have Consulted me Before Marketing This *Thing* to Children
Category: Awkard homages
This Super PAC Claims Hot Latinas are ‘Huge’ Fans of Trump. Fact Check: No, We’re not
A Trump Super PAC is using the hashtag #HispanicsBreakTheInternet to help spread the word that Trump is HUGE among my people (i.e. The Hot Latinas.)
As a spicy member of such a collective, I can tell you that’s simply not true. But I do hope the Latinas that do support the president have had some time to brush up on their Spanish grammar skills. Last time I checked, they were proudly pitching themselves as Latinas para Trump, instead of the accurate Latinas por Trump.
Anyway: What’s with these people *and* their president’s lousy grammar?
Mexican Daily Jumps on the ‘White Supremacy’ Bandwagon, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore
Not Photoshop. Not an Internet meme. This is the actual front page of today’s sports section of Reforma, one of Mexico’s largest daily newspapers. In case you were wondering, the “white supremacy” (in this instance) is that of the Real Madrid after it beat Barcelona 2-0 on Wednesday night. They wear white uniforms, get it? Ha Ha Ha.
Anyway, I believe I don’t need to tell you how timely the above headline is as it comes on the heels of the deadly mass riots organized by white nationalists — and self-described Neo-nazis — in Charlottesville, Virginia this past weekend.
Good job, Reforma… [SIGH]
Hat tip: @jrisco
Taco Bell Launches the Naked Egg Taco, Because there’s not Enough Misery in America
And just when I thought life couldn’t be more miserable, Taco Bell today announced the national rollout of the “Naked Egg Taco,” a “thing” that for a while was only available to the poor souls of Flint, Michigan.
“The Naked Egg Taco strips down the traditional breakfast taco, allowing us to deliver a new flavor experience in every single bite,” said Liz Matthews, Chief Food Innovation Officer at Taco Bell Corp, apparently with a straight face.
In case you were wondering, this “thing” is filled with fried potatoes, cheese, sausage or bacon and will roll out nationwide on August 31 at a bargain price of $1.99.
OK. Send in the nukes, people, I’m ready…
New York City Salon Will Give you the ‘Indian Virgin’ Look
I have no idea what this salon is up to, but in addition to a “refrigerio” Wednesday, they’re offering to implant you with the hair of an Indian virgin — for some reason.
Photo: Jessica Solt Inwood, NYC
Kate Spade Wants to Make Mariachis Great Again!
Mexican immigrants are not precisely popular these days –and I’m pretty sure we’ll all get deported real soon. But local mariachis are making their way to the world of high fashion, thanks in part to Kate Spade New York.
The brand has tapped the all-female mariachi band Flor de Toloache to tout its “timeless — and timely — collection,” which is full of “cute cultural references” and is now available on Kate Spade’s Website.*
WATCH as the all-female band gets on the [FAILING] New York City subway while model Fernanda Ly walks in sporting a “lace-trimmed flouncy dresses” and a handbag that features a tiny burrito or something weird like that.
*Alas, the fabulous black charro suits are not part of the collection’s offering.
Hat tip: @begona_lozano
I’m Going to Hell for this, but at Least it Will be RA-PI-DI-TO
Latinsplaining [lat’splān:] When a Latin Person Explains ‘Despacito’ to a Non-Latin Person
WATCH Luis Fonsi explains the origins of Despacito to non-Latin person Vanessa Yurkevich of CNN.
Video via: CNN
This Image of Beyoncé and Twins Only Belongs in a ‘Carnicería’
Trump Meets Peña Nieto in Germany. A Tragicomedy Ensues
It was brief –and painful.
U.S. President Donald Trump and Enrique Peña Nieto on Friday had their first face-to-face meeting since Trump took office, and while the encounter lasted only a few minutes, it was enough for El Trumpo to assert that he’ll “absolutely” have Mexico pay for his famous wall.
Fortunately for this blogger — and the world at large — Mexican tuiteros came through to spice up the otherwise tragic encounter.
Here are only a few of my favorite Twitter moments of this year’s G-20 meeting. Be sure to come back, as I’m going to be updating this post throughout this hilarious/tragic day.
Leadership
Yo vi a un Presidente con un gran liderazgo y mucha firmeza. No sé de qué hablan. pic.twitter.com/XuL9xkYrhE
— Vampipe (@vampipe) 7 de julio de 2017
Real Life Memes
Memes en la vida real. pic.twitter.com/WWfYX5HxeX
— Vampipe (@vampipe) 7 de julio de 2017
Clueless Leader
Como cuando NO sabes qué está PASANDO pero actúas cool… pic.twitter.com/DoNvXIVf9P
— Risco (@jrisco) 7 de julio de 2017
Hear No Evil
— Oye @EPN después de tu reunión con Donald Trump ¿México va a pagar por el muro?
— pic.twitter.com/TAsQhao4hf— Puerco Potter (@LosSimpsonMX) 7 de julio de 2017
What? I didn’t Hear Anything
“…Yo no escuche lo que dijo trump” pic.twitter.com/Jo5NA8W2GQ
— elio (@eliottito) 7 de julio de 2017
Human Sacrifice
“Le entrego en sacrificio este bebé, a cambio de que decline su idea del muro… y como muestra de buena voluntad, le regalo Tlaxcala” pic.twitter.com/TVEEmvL4bk
— Havuck El Robot (@YoHavuck) 7 de julio de 2017
Video via ABC News
This Laser Hair Removal Biz in Brazil Wants you to Know Frida Would Have Been Better off Using their Services
Some laser hair removal shop in Brazil called Espaçolaser thought it would be a great idea to use a Before-After image of Frida Kahlo showing how unbelievably different (presumably better) she would have looked AFTER undergoing a hair laser removal therapy with them.
Well, I’ve got news for you, people:
Ummmm, no!
Go home, Espaco Laser, you’re drunk.
This Mexican Dude Has Changed His Name to Trump –and I Can’t Stop Laughing
A 34-year-old Mexican-American dude who brands himself “The Undeportable One” is such a fan of you-know-who that he decided to change his surname to… Trump. The move, mind you, was approved by a judge.
According to The Daily Mail:
“Heavily tattooed Ernesto Baeza Acosta filed a petition to change his name to Ernesto Trump, and called on the President to invite him to the White House.”
Apparently this dude is also into making videos (see one below) and in a recent one you can see him proudly saying:
“You can call me the undeportable one, you can call me the President’s son or you can call me Ernesto Trump.”
Oh, and just in case you were wondering: All this happened in — where else? — TEXAS!
Anyhow, I’m like super busy but must keep laughing…..
Via: DailyMail, what else?
This Beer Features Donald Trump Wearing a Mariachi Hat and a Swastika Belt Buckle — for some Reason
People have got to stop doing this.
According to my sources (i.e. the World Wide Web) Mexican and U.S. brewers have gotten together to reinvent Donald Trump as a “gun-slinging mariachi” to promote Amigous, a beer supposed to “celebrate cross-border cooperation.” But the gun is only the beginning. From the little I could read, Trump’s trousers are held up with a swastika belt buckle, and the rear label of the beer informs the reader that the 71-year-old New Yorker belongs “in a mad house, not the White House.”
The “innovative” product comes on the heels of the Trump-inspired toilet paper and other crazy ideas out there.
I am not going to spend too much time on talking about this thing, because 1) I’m super busy and 2) It’s almost impossible to keep up with all the marketing nonsense around our current administration and the dark, sad hole we’ve all fallen into.
So… wake me up in 2024, will ya?
Via: Univision
The Most Interesting Man in the World Is Giving up Beer for Tequila
It was not long ago that Jonathan Goldsmith, the Dos Equis’ original — and devastatingly handsome — Most Interesting Man in the World was replaced by an uninteresting French dude in an effort to appeal to millennials.
Well, I’m happy to report Mr. Goldsmith has a new gig, and it has to do with drinking something way more interesting than watery beer. Starting this month Goldsmith will be the new face of Astral Tequila, because — really — that’s what you’re supposed to drink when you’re a grown up, handsome, interesting person. (I’m just going to have to investigate about that particular brand of tequila, which honestly sounds a bit fishy.)
The full ads are not out yet, but a video teaser uploaded this week by Davos Brands shows us the very interesting Mr. Goldsmith, surrounded by beautiful women, of course, and telling us: “I told you, I don’t always drink beer.”
Hopefully, Mr. Goldsmith will remember not mention Dos Equis by name.
Hat tip: Gonzalo J. Suárez
‘Super Mario Odyssey’ Adds Mexico Level; Sombreros and Guitars Galore, so Yay! 🇲🇽
Some people are really losing their sh*t over Super Mario Odyssey, Nintendo’s upcoming game for the Nintendo Switch set to release in October.
The reason? Among the challenges to be faced by our cute mustachioed friend is a new “Mexican level,” a town called — what else? — Tostarena, which is populated by “colorful skull-headed creatures in ponchos and sombreros.”
Not only I’m not offended by this idea; I’m so totally looking forward to playing this thing. I mean, everyone here looks very happy, has a guitar, wears a sombrero and — I can only hope — eats tostadas all day.
So, ¡ajúa!
El nivel mexicanito de Mario Odyssey se llama “Tostarena Town”. Because Tostadas… pic.twitter.com/GbIZuN1zB0
— Akira@ #NerdcoreLive (@akirareiko) 13 de junio de 2017
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