Category: Awkard homages

This Beer Features Donald Trump Wearing a Mariachi Hat and a Swastika Belt Buckle — for some Reason

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No, I don’t feel like buying/drinking this thing

People have got to stop doing this.

According to my sources (i.e. the World Wide Web) Mexican and U.S. brewers have gotten together to reinvent Donald Trump as a “gun-slinging mariachi” to promote Amigous, a beer supposed to “celebrate cross-border cooperation.” But the gun is only the beginning. From the little I could read, Trump’s trousers are held up with a swastika belt buckle, and the rear label of the beer informs the reader that the 71-year-old New Yorker belongs “in a mad house, not the White House.”

The “innovative” product comes on the heels of the Trump-inspired toilet paper and other crazy ideas out there.

I am not going to spend too much time on talking about this thing, because 1) I’m super busy and 2) It’s almost impossible to keep up with all the marketing nonsense around our current administration and the dark, sad hole we’ve all fallen into.

So… wake me up in 2024, will ya?

Via: Univision

The Most Interesting Man in the World Is Giving up Beer for Tequila

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Jonathan Goldsmith: ‘I told you, I don’t always drink beer’

It was not long ago that Jonathan Goldsmith, the Dos Equis’ original — and devastatingly handsome — Most Interesting Man in the World was replaced by an uninteresting French dude in an effort to appeal to millennials.

Well, I’m happy to report Mr. Goldsmith has a new gig, and it has to do with drinking something way more interesting than watery beer. Starting this month Goldsmith will be the new face of Astral Tequila, because — really — that’s what you’re supposed to drink when you’re a grown up, handsome, interesting person. (I’m just going to have to investigate about that particular brand of tequila, which honestly sounds a bit fishy.)

The full ads are not out yet, but a video teaser uploaded this week by Davos Brands shows us the very interesting Mr. Goldsmith, surrounded by beautiful women, of course, and telling us: “I told you, I don’t always drink beer.”

Hopefully, Mr. Goldsmith will remember not mention Dos Equis by name.

Hat tip: Gonzalo J. Suárez

‘Super Mario Odyssey’ Adds Mexico Level; Sombreros and Guitars Galore, so Yay! 🇲🇽

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New level takes place in a Mexican town called — what else? — Tostarena

Some people are really losing their sh*t over Super Mario Odyssey, Nintendo’s upcoming game for the Nintendo Switch set to release in October.

The reason? Among the challenges to be faced by our cute mustachioed friend is a new “Mexican level,” a town called — what else? — Tostarena, which is populated by “colorful skull-headed creatures in ponchos and sombreros.”

Not only I’m not offended by this idea; I’m so totally looking forward to playing this thing. I mean, everyone here looks very happy, has a guitar, wears a sombrero and — I can only hope — eats tostadas all day.

So, ¡ajúa!

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‘Despacito’ Makes it to ‘Conan’, and I’m Losing my Mind ‘Poquito a Poquito’

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While y’all were busy reporting on the latest tweets of our Commander in Chief, Luis Fonsi paid a visit to Conan O’Brien, because life is determined to drive me crazy poquito a poquito…

I don’t know you, but if the creators of the “smashing hit” have their way, I will end up very soon in a mental institution or — better yet — chopping my head off so I don’t have to hear THAT THING EVER AGAIN.

Via: Luis Fonsi/Instagram

Having Solved Mexico’s Most Pressing Issues, Peña Nieto Moves on to Protect Marine Wildlife

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Enrique Peña Nieto mesmerized by the ‘vaquita marina’ as Leonardo DiCaprio looks on

Mexico might be on the brink of social unrest and political disaster — and it’s clear we will never know what happened to the 43 of Ayotzinapa — but our nation’s Commander in Chief has set his sights on one important cause: To protect the vaquita marina, the “world’s rarest marine mammal” with the aid of two unusual partners, Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim and Oscar-winning actor Leonardo DiCaprio.

And why is this important, may you ask?

Per the local media:

Vaquita porpoises – the smallest of six extant porpoise species, can become entrapped in the nets and subsequently die, which has led to a sharp decline in their numbers.

Yeah, they seem to be vanishing, just like students from marginalized rural colleges around Mexico. SAD!

At this point I’m not sure which one of my “two countries” I’m most ashamed of.

Via: Mexico Daily News

Parisian Eatery Features “Original French Tacos,” Because it’s 2017 and Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

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Remember Paris real authentic Mexican restaurant or the super popular Le Guacamole version Grandé?

Well, Parisians have outdone themselves and are going all in with the whole We-Too-Can-Make-Original-Tacos.

Introducing O’Tacos, “Original French Tacos” that you get to make yourself, or so I can surmise from their logo featuring something that looks like La Pyramide de Louvre — or a tortilla chip, I’m really not sure.

Anyhow, as any pompous French would tell you: C’est quoi ce truc?

Photo: Europe Taco Correspondent, @KentGerman

 

Why ‘Beatriz at Dinner’ Is the First Trumpian Movie of 2017

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Salma Hayek (right, of course, duh!) plays a Mexican professional whom everyone assumes is part of the wait staff

I have not seen this thing, since it is set to premiere on June 9, but judging from the official trailer; the many (way too many) pics posted by Salma Hayek on Instagram and even a film review by the [failing] New York Times, Beatriz at Dinner is poised to become the American film of the Trumpian era par excellence.

The reason? It features “a pompous billionaire facing off with a Mexican professional woman whom everyone assumes she is part of the wait staff. (As if that hasn’t happened to all of us!)

Anyhow, stay tuned as this blogger will do her best to get a free ticket to this thing. Yes, I said “free,” because as you can imagine, being Mexican and all, I couldn’t possibly shell out $15 for a Hollywood movie — even if a paisana stars on it.

Watch this thing and please let me know if I should bother or simply file this under the shameful-Hollywood-productions-that-never-should-have-been archives.

Mexicans Are Having Lots of Fun with this Photo of the Trump Family in the Vatican

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Everyone has seen the pic now: An awkward-looking Pope Francis who looks as if he is being held hostage inside his own home, posing next to a cheerful Donald Trump and his wife and daughter, both in black and wearing black veils — for some reason.

Enter Mexican Twitter (more specifically the great @Vampipe) who turned the image into an international PNG for us to play along.

Are you ready?

Note: These are only starting to trickle in and I’ll be uploading more as they come, so keep coming back and have fun!

@la_nanny1

@Ballinas30

@Genrus

@meriokids

@Diphyllamx

@la_nanny1

@zwiitt

Mainstream Media Discovers ‘Despacito,’ so Here Goes…

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Now that The Atlantic and other VPM (Very Prestigious Media) decided to write about the “amazing phenomenon” that Despacito is, this blogger had no choice but to acknowledge the whole thing and give Luis Fonsi and his peeps a well-deserved space on this venerable blog, because, truth be told, I have NOT stopped dancing to this damn thing for, like, weeks!

Anyhow, just a couple of things before you venture here.

First, watch the original “Spanish”-language version (below.) Then, move onto an improbable version featuring none other than Justin Bieber (yeah, don’t ask, but he’s pretty good saying “manuscrito” in Spanish.) Last — but not least — watch this blogger’s favorite Italian people filming in real time their own LOVE-HATE relationship with this damn thing!

Ready? ENJOY!

WAIT. DID ANYBODY SAY JUSTIN BIEBER?

WHAT’S WITH THESE LATIN AMERICAN PEOPLE?

Univision and AT&T Present ‘Unlimited Chapo,’ Because Hispanic TV Needs More Stories about Drug Lords

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Unlimited Chapo is brought to you by Univision and AT&T

In yet another sign that Hispanic television is determined to “superserve its audience with relevant programming,” Univision Communications has partnered with AT&T to bring us — are you ready? — El Chapo Ilimitado! (Unlimited Chapo,) a weekly Facebook Live series that “serves as a forum for fans to discuss new episodes of El Chapo, a new crime television series co-produced by Netflix and Univision.

El Chapo Ilimitado (which I’m sure is a wink to AT&T’s unlimited data plans, duh) is hosted by Univision personalities Lourdes Stephen and Carlos Calderón, who show an extraordinary disposition to look cheerful — and fun! — while discussing one of Mexico’s most sanguinary drug dealers every single week.

Per a company press release, this thing is streamed via Facebook Live on Univision’s Facebook page Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. immediately following the premiere of new episodes.

Say what you will, but Hispanic TV will never cease to depress amuse this blogger.

Now if you allow me, I’ll just go shoot myself.

Via: El Chapo Ilimitado

WARNING: Avocado Knife-Injuries on the Rise, Mostly Among non-Mexicans

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Avocado Hand is no joking matter. Just ask Meryl Streep.

OKAY, people, stop doing whatever it is you are doing right now. A potentially devastating malaise known as Avocado Hand is affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado, namely Americans and Brits.

According to the always reliable Daily Mail, the number of people visiting the emergency room suffering from “avocado hand” knife injuries is on the rise. But… how bad exactly is this thing? Well, it is so bad it once got none other than Meryl Streep, who famously required hand surgery after cutting her fingers while preparing a delish guacamole.

The problem is not limited to America, no señor. London-based plastic surgeon Simon Eccles told The Times that he sees about four patients a week now suffering with wounds caused by trying to cut an avocado, because — shockingly — there are avocados in London.

Fortunately, they are plenty of resources out there for you not to end up in the emergency room with a bunch of avocado-clueless anglos. There are even guides and fancy gadgets for you to master your avocado grip.

To wit…

and….

So, get yourself together and don’t say I didn’t warn you….

California Bar Gave Away ‘Green Cards’ for Climbing Inflatable Wall, Because Cinco de Mayo

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Speaking of awesome Cinco de Mayo marketing ideas, a bar in California decided it was a great idea to celebrate the faux Mexican holiday by offering … fake green cards to drunken patrons willing to climb an inflatable border wall.

Wait. What?

According to the always reliable Gustavo Arellano, Hennessey’s Tavern, in Dana Point, California thought it was idea to build a “wall” and offer patrons willing to climb it a “green card,” which would not actually grant them legal status, but get them a free drink, because nothing says “fun” as drunken gringos wearing sombreros and climb walls, you know?

It looks like the promotion  — and several videos associated with the stunt — have all been deleted from the bar’s Instagram account, and the establishment in question has since apologized. But, hey, haven’t these people heard about screenshots *and* pesky bloggers?

Via: OCWeekly

Donald Trump Failed to Gather Enough Votes at this Week’s ‘Burro’ Competition in Mexico

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Nobody wanted to vote for poor Donald

Despite the hype — and much anticipation — Donald Trump proved to be a real disappointment this week in Mexico.

And no, I’m not talking about the dimwit who sits in the Oval Office, but of another kind of burro: an adorable donkey who failed to even make it to the finals at the Annual Festival del Burro in Otumba, Mexico.

According to my always reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) Donald Trump was the most hated among the 50 donkeys that took place in the bizarre competition. The reason?

The discomfort towards what Donald Trump represents caused that many attendees to the fair did not even want to vote for him […]

Well, I guess you can say anything about those pesky Mexicans, but they seem to know better when it comes to cast their vote.

Via: Diario 24 Horas

 

Meet the Unicorn Taco: It Hails from Tijuana, and Proves the End of the World Is Near

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Move over, Unicorn Frapuccino.

My people (i.e. The Mexicans) have concocted the “Gobernador Unicornio Taco,” which can be prepared with shrimp or marlin and can be yours for only a few pesitos at La Cahua del Yeyo, a local seafood restaurant in — where else? — Tijuana.

Now you know.

Let’s all go hang ourselves –or something.

Via: SanDiegoRed.com