Greetings, followers, from Mexico City, home of the 10-peso taco al pastor and a mayor who wishes he ruled Paris.
NOTE: I am sorry for having abandoned this blog for such a long time, but I never realized how much time eating good food actually takes. So bear with me.
Attention, non-Hispanic Americans: Are you afraid of being killed in Mexico? Mugged in Central America? Sickened by some deadly bug in Peru or killed by the chikungunya virus in the Caribbean?
Worry no more!
Thank your undocumented and documented Hispanic immigrants for the latest trend in U.S. tourism: Latin American cultural immersion trips in the confort of your own city!
Sí, señores! Latinos are a smart bunch, so we are using the very same neighborhoods we took away from gringos to lurethem back, and invite them to get a taste of our fun, dance, food and drink-filled culture! (And no, you don’t need to get a passport, nor take a malaria pill or take a kidnap ransom insurance.)
One of the most beautiful things about language is that it manages to re-invent itself, transforming the names of otherwise unpronounceable stuff into things we (phonetic-language-speaking people) can understand -and pronounce properly.
How else would you explain the wonderful transformation of “plum tomato” to plontomero?
I don’t know you but these plontomeros would be delicious in this type of salad.
Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods now says it has figured out what would make my people buy more of their ‘mayonesa’…. Duh! Just put some lemon in the damn thing!
According to some very important marketing person at Kraft Foods:
“In Mexico, base mayo has lime juice in it, and often, Hispanics add even more lime juice themselves,” Karmen Conrad, a senior brand manager at Kraft Foods told the Houston Chronicle. “We wanted to offer an authentic mayonesa to the Hispanic population in the U.S.”
Thank you, Kraft!
I don’t know what I would have done with my Hispanic-inspired tuna without a Hispanic-specific mayonesa.
This blogger is happy to announce the launch of Auténtico, a “Hispanic-inspired canned tuna line” from the makers of non-Hispanic-inspired tuna StarKist.
According to a press release:
“Auténtico products blend StarKist tuna with bold spices such as red, chili and jalapeno peppers […]”
…because as everybody knows, Hispanics like spices and seem to put jalapeño everywhere.
I have no idea, but I’m about to find out. So stay tuned for a full report Wednesday (or Thursday if the hangover turns out to be brutal and/or the owners decide to kick me out of there before the beer tasting begins.)
So you guys thought I was joking when I said we (the Mexicans) know how to make the world’s largest and spiciest tacos, ever!
Not only New Mexico couldn’t beat regular Mexico with their huge navajo taco the other day, but regular Mexico has done it again, beating its own world record, by cooking a 50-meter long taco filled with an “indeterminate” volume of onion, rice, cilantro, pork cracklings, beef, chicken, eggs and sausages.
Alas, such an achievement could not be registered in the Guinness Book of Records, simply because sufficient funds were not available.
So hereby this blogger is launching a campaign for the officers over there at the Guiness Book record-thing to stop the nonsense and give my people a well-deserved discount. Or, perhaps, they will let us pay them in kind, with some delicious taquitos?
In yet another sign that Mexicans are indeed taking over the Big Apple, a trajinera has been spotted in and around Flushing Meadows Corona Park.
See? We, mexicans, don’t only want our carnitas here, we also want to move around in our traditional means of transportation.
Well, actually, the trajinera thing is a piece of moving art that is part of this year’s Celebrate Mexico Now Festival. Never seen one in real life? Here is your chance, newyorkers!
Photo: Stolen from the Web site of the Queens Museum
Mayor Jackie McKinney tosses diced tomatoes on what state officials are calling the "world's largest Navajo taco" in Gallup, N.M.
This blogger has absolutely no idea what a “navajo taco” is but residents of Gallup, N.M. got a taste of it this past weekend, when the city attempted to enter the World Records of Guiness by cooking a colossal one. According to the local press:
The taco, which was more than 10 feet in diameter, used 150 pieces of fry bread, 65 pounds of ground beef, 65 pounds of beans, 50 pounds of lettuce, 90 pounds of cheese, and more than 30 pounds of green chile.
Sorry, my friends, but the title-holder of world’s largest taco still belongs to Mexico, according to the Guinness Book of World Records itself. That cheese- and meat-filled concoction, which was prepared by the city of Mexicali in March 2003, weighed in at 1,654 pounds.
If you are in the advertising, or food marketing business, you’d better get acquainted with Ecuador’s singing sensation El Delfín, whose “Andean techno-folklore” style will help your next TV spot truly unforgettable.
Behold this advertising jewel via Maruri Grey, which –not surprisingly– has earned plenty of advertising awards in its native Ecuador.
It is a good thing there are now more than 50.1 million Hispanics in this country, so that companies unable to grow their brands among healthy-minded Americans can now turn to the so-called minorities to peddle their fast foods and sugary drinks.
Take Kraft’s Kool Aid, which this month announced it will devote most of its advertising budget against U.S. Hispanics.
Kool-Aid, in a first for any Kraft brand, has allocated the majority of its 2011 marketing budget to reach Hispanics. Television commercials that began running this week on networks including Univision and Telemundo feature families drinking the beverage at festive occasions.
The Spanish-language pitch goes beyond the convenience of dissolving some powder in your glass of water. Kool Aid, says this advertisement, will actually help your children have fun…. And if everything goes according to plan, they will soon qualify to take part on the upcoming Hispanic version of The Biggest Loser.
Are you planning on wondering about the U.S. with a sack full of tortilla dough? Be ready to spend some days in the slammer.
Take Antonio Hernandez, 45, who last week was arrested and charged with possession of 91 pounds of cocaine after police officers -alerted by a narcotics dog- took him to the Buncombe County Jail in North Carolina. Per the local news:
“Deputies said Carranza appeared intoxicated, though he was later deemed sober by a Breathalyzer test. They said a narcotics dog alerted officers to check Carranza’s baggage, and multiple narcotics field tests determined that the substances were cocaine.”
Hernández actual cargo? Tortilla dough, cooking flour and shrimp.
Gee, officers? Can’t you tell the difference between one thing and the other? I’m going to have to get you passes for a free visit to your nearest Maseca plant. Stay tuned.
For those of you who think I’m only bitching about advertising and cannot say anything good about anything anymore… Here is what I consider a truly great piece of advertising… and one that is perfect for your Cinco de Mayo bash, which should be starting about now!
Not to be outdone, mun2 parent NBC Universal this morning showed its true multicultural colors by giving attendees to the launch of “Hispanics at NBCU” division a Mobile Food set, including 16 organic herbs + spices, plus wasabi, soy sauce and –what else?– a miniature Tabasco sauce.