Little did people notice a recent New York Times story showing that 2 Hispanic surnames are now, and for the first time, among the top 10 most common names in the nation:

Smith remains the most common surname in the United States, according to a new analysis released yesterday by the Census Bureau. But for the first time, two Hispanic surnames — Garcia and Rodriguez — are among the top 10 most common in the nation…

I’m certainly happy for the Garcías and Rodriguezes, but I tell you, I couldn’t be more thrilled myself: according to the very same data, Martínez “nearly edged out Wilson for 10th place!”

Man, this is some challenge! so starting today I am launching my own campaign aimed at making us, Martínez, to the Top 5 beating if not the Garcías or the Rodríguez, at least the Smiths, Andersons and Taylors. As we say in my country, ¡Sí se puede, sí se puede!

Question: What does a 36-year-old Mexican waiter do in the streets of Edinburgh during his spare time?

Answer: Fondle women … of course!

According to the BBC, Marco Lozano, a Mexican waiter at the local “Pancho Villa” eaterie, confessed to having grabbed the buttocks of “up to 12” women as they walked the streets of Edinburgh, simply because –as he told the police– he considers European women to be more beautiful than those in his native Mexico.

Quite frankly, I couldn’t care less about this creep’s female preferences, but he had the guts to try to get out of the mess by playing the “culture-clash” card:

“That’s what we do in Mexico. It was a cultural difference.”

I don’t think so Mr. Lozano!

(He will spend one year in jail in case you’re wondering)

I want to thank all my concerned friends and colleagues nationwide who have written and called today asking if I’m OK.

See? I’ve been writing some stuff that pissed some people off, and then, all of a sudden, ¡Pum! Some “weird device” explodes in front of the Mexican Consulate in New York City. Mind you, I was thinking of going to renew my matrícula consular on Monday but given the situation, I might wait until the coast is clear. My friend Juan suggests I wear a wig, but I guess that’s not safe enough.

Have a wonderful weekend, and remember: If you see something… say something!

I love the Internet simply because you can get your news from unlikely sources… such as Hot News, the Source for Romanian News.

Anyhow, it was thanks to my fellow journalists at Hot News that I learned that more and more Romanians wishing to enter the U.S. illegally are now turning to Mexican coyotes, who charge them the regular $4,000 fee to get across the border, a service exclusive for Latin American nationals.

I wonder if this means Coyotes will now begin to master the romance language to perhaps extend services to France, Portugal and Italy. ¡Viva la globalización!

Earlier this year, residents of Farmers Branch, a Dallas suburb, voted on a proposal to ban landlords from renting apartments to illegal immigrants. And since the proposal never really got anywhere, now they want Hispanics to tone down their “tropical” mood.

In the most recent anti-immigrant brouhaha, a local resident (presumably a gringo) has asked the City Council to consider requiring permits and color approval before residents can repaint their homes.

“When you paint your house some fluorescent or garish color scheme, you negatively affect my [home] value,” Robin Bernier, told the Dallas Morning News.

Just like Bernier, those annoyed at the garish colors in some homes quickly say their concern has to do with the neighborhood value, not ethnicity. But as a local business owner smartly put it: “We know who has the bright colors […] Latin Americans.”

(photo: G.J. McCARTHY/DMN)

I know. I know how you feel sometimes about these Mexicans taking away that gardening job you always dreamed of… But don’t despair! If you cannot get rid of us and send us packing where we came from, you might as well hire us as pet guardians.

And if you don’t believe me, just ask Dennis Baker (in the photo), a Dallas home owner whose life was spared the other day by Salvador, his Mexican pet parrot (also in the photo.) A story this week in the Dallas Morning News informs us that Salvador, Mr. Baker’s red-headed parrot says “hello” whenever he sees someone… So on Tuesday, at 2 a.m. Salvador saw something and he said something (“hello”) greeting the burglar who unfortunately ended up dead in the hands of Mr. Baker.

When police officers arrived at his home after the shooting, Mr. Baker said, Salvador began greeting them with his signature “hello.” “Sometimes he says ‘hi,’ but you can’t get him to speak on cue,” Mr. Baker said. “He has a mind of his own.”

Think you don’t need a Salvador? The Dallas police estimates there are more than 14,400 residential burglaries each year in the city. Hello!!!??

(And just in case you missed the unintended pun: Salvador means “savior” in English. How cool is that?

Steve Lonegan, the embattled anti-immigrant New Jersey mayor accused of hiring two undocumented Guatemalan workers to do some gardening work, seems to be running out of excuses and explanations. In his latest statements to the New York Times, Mr. Lonegan (in photo) came up with the following:

“The real hypocrites are the liberals who are saying that I should have assumed that because they’re Spanish that they’re illegal. That we’re now going to socially stereotype people and assume they’re illegal.”

Wait a second: “I should have assumed that because they’re Spanish they’re illegal.”??? I am not sure of what Mr. Lonegan is talking about; and while I strongly support his point of not stereotyping people… Did he really think these guys were actually from the Iberian Peninsula?

You never know. This is the same guy who last summer asked McDonald’s to bring down a Spanish-language billboard promoting a café helado. (Does he know where the real Bogota is?… Just curious.)