Category: Immigration

Puerto Rican Man in New York, Pissed Because ‘Hispanic’ Is Not a Race

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I thought I had heard everything about the 2010 Census, including NALEO’s efforts to get us off our tía’s couch and the Jesus-Caesar Augustus connection. But this one takes the cake: Turns out a Puerto Rican security guard in Bronx, New York, this week refused to fill out his Census form, because “Hispanic” was not an option under the Race box.

“For me to see this I feel kind of offended,” Richard Robles told WPIX.

And, why wouldn’t he? After all, for reasons I yet have to understand, the U.S. Census considers “Vietnamese,” “Korean” and “Japanese” a race. So, continuing that logic: If Korean people are of the “Korean race”, and “Vietnamese” people are from the “Vietnamese race,” I urge Mr. Robles’ to check himself as a proud member of the Puerto Rican race.

As for myself, I was truly offended “Human” was not an option; so I had to use the “Some other race –print race” space to spell out N.P.I. (Ni Pinche Idea)

U.S. ‘Taqueros’ Join Immigration Cause

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I always knew there was nothing like a good taco to get people moving. That is why I was happy to learn about Tacos for Justice, an initiative launched by a group of food vendors to raise money towards the fight for immigration reform.

According to California’s Valley Star, taco vendors are giving discounts to customers and at the same time contributing to the national Immigrant Justice Campaign by accepting coupons at their taco trucks and restaurants throughout the country.

As of March 18, three days before Sunday’s march for Immigration Reform in Washington, D.C., more than one million discount coupons to participating restaurants and lunch trucks had been distributed.

This blogger will gladly participate, but can I get a torta ahogada, instead?

Tired of Waiting for Your U.S. Residency Papers? Try Becoming Miss Universe First

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If you have been waiting, like, forever for your U.S. residency -or citizenship- papers, worry no more. Immigration lawyer and former Mayor of Englewood, New Jersey Michael Wildes can help… as long as you are, ahem, a Miss Universe.

A press release sent out this week by Wildes & Weinberg informs us that:

“Michael Wildes has been hired to serve as legal counsel to Miss Universe 2009, Stefania Fernandez. The appointment marks the third Miss Universe that Wildes & Weinberg has represented. In addition to Fernandez, the firm serves as counsel to Miss Universe 2009, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, and assisted Miss Universe 1976, Rita Messinger of Israel, in obtaining U.S. citizenship.”
So now you know it: If you are like most of us who have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more for the INS to make things happen, I’m sure you’ll appreciate knowing there might be other some alternatives out there.

Of course, you will need to spend some time -and money- on your costume.

Schwarzenegger to Outsource Imprisonment of Mexicans… In Mexico

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You can say anything about California’s governor but you cannot deny the guy’s gotta head full of brilliant ideas.

In his most recent political -and economic- potential breakthrough, the Governator is proposing to pay the Mexican government to house the estimated 20,000 undocumented immigrants that are incarcerated in California. Why, it’s simple!

“Think about it. We pay the Mexican government to build the prison in Mexico and then we have these undocumented immigrants be down there in prison. With their prison guards and all this, it’s half the cost to build and half the cost to operate the prison. We gain $1 billion right there that could go into higher education.”

Of course! Just imagine the world of possibilities: Mexican prisoners will get better food and hopefully better treatment (because they will be watched by their “own people”) while Californians will get a better access to higher education. This, in turn, will create better educated people, so hopefully in the future they will not screw up when picking their elected officials.

This is a win-win situation, people!

Palestinian Entrepreneur Finds ‘Neat’ Way to Lure Hispanic Customers to Service Station

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Question: How would you lure more Mexican customers to your Memphis-area gas station?

Answer: Offer additional services such as check cashing and money remittances to Mexico… and then use the Pemex brand -and logo- to give the business a truly local feel.

That is exactly what Haitham Alyousef, a Palestinian immigrant in Memphis, did when he incorporated Pemex Inc., a service station offering everything, from long distance calls to money remittances and “Hispanic foods.” According to the local press:

“Alyousef and his business partners enjoy reminders of home, and believe Mexican immigrants feel the same way.”

Petróleos Mexicanos (Pemex) is said to be considering a lawsuit, but they should just relax. Asked by a local reporter about why he stole the Pemex logo, image and name, Alyousef simply replied:

“I thought it was kind of neat.”

Hey, Latinos in America: Get Off Your Tía’s Couch and Make Yourselves Count!

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As of 2010, this blogger is making a personal commitment to support every single initiative aimed at having Latinos take part on the upcoming Census. Why? Well, that’s the least I can do after having read a very disturbing -and quite embarrassing- revelation about my people in the international press.

Asked by The Economist why Latinos continue to be left out in U.S. Census statistics, the executive director of the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials, Arturo Vargas, put it simply:

“If you live in a garage or on somebody’s couch, as many Latinos do, it is easy not to be counted.”

So there you have it. Get off your tía‘s sillón or step out of your pana‘s garage and make yourself count!

NALEO Wants you to Know Joseph and Mary Got Themselves Counted. And so Should You

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Behold this promotional ad for the 2010 Census, because if Evangelical leaders have their way, it might soon disappear from the face of the Earth.

The above poster is part of a broad campaign by the National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO), urging Hispanics to make themselves counted in the upcoming Census. Because, really, what better way to get Latinos on your side than telling them Jesus was in fact born during a Census ordered by Caesar Augustus?

Alas, Christian leaders don’t find the thing amusing at all.

“The Bible establishes clearly that we are not supposed to use the name or God or Jesus in vain for any other purposes than worshiping,” Rev. Miguel Rivera, head of the National Coalition of Latino Clergy and Christian Leaders, told the Washington Post.

I don’t know you, but there’s something very puzzling to me about the whole thing: I mean, I do want to get myself counted but… where am I supposed to find a donkey?

Harlem Barber Shop Embraces Diversity

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I first bumped into this sign on November 25th, walking around West Harlem, happy to see “my people” were finally taking over a mostly Dominican neighborhood…

But then, I walked by that place again only to find this: What on Earth happened?

I have no idea, but as a fellow blogger and friend suggested: The first one is there to work on straight-hair customers, while the second one will take care of your curls.

Ah… isn’t diversity just wonderful?

Watch Out! Gringos Send UFO’s to Mexico Border

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And by UFO’s I mean to say Unmanned Flying Objects.

Just in time for this upcoming Season to be Jolly, the U.S. government has unveiled a “super” idea: It will begin using military predator drones to catch illegal immigrants along the U.S.-Mexico border. These babies, which are currently used by the military in Iraq and Afghanistan, cost only $13.5 million each, but can fire two AGM-114 Hellfire missiles… which must be like shit scary stuff.

[Chances are your Transborder Immigrant Tool will not be of much assistance in helping you make it across unscratched.]

Ah… Isn’t it satisfying to see your taxes being put to good use?

Hispanic New Yorkers Find Novel Way to Mess Up their Offspring

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If you thought U.S.-born Hispanics didn’t have enough tribulations, consider this: Their parents have found a novel way to screw them up from a very tender age, by giving them names their abuela (and probably themselves) will not be able to pronounce.

According to the New York City Department of Health, the most popular name among Hispanic males is now Jayden, surpassing the always popular Daniel and Michael, while Ashley is now a favorite among the little Latinas.

Other names in the top ten among Hispanics: Brandon, Genesis, Joshua and Brianna.

[And you want us to grow up like normal people?]

What ever happened to José and Lupita?

No Green Card?????… No Toys for You!

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Well, it looks like Santa will not be showing his gentle, white face to thousands of children in the Houston area.

The reason? Some local charities are asking whether children are in the country legally before giving them toys.

According to the Houston Chronicle:

The Salvation Army and a charity affiliated with the Houston Fire Department are among those that consider immigration status, asking for birth certificates or Social Security cards for the children.

So now you know.

Want to give your child some true joy this Christmas? Just get him or her a freakin’ Social Security Number!

Lou Dobbs to Telemundo: Leprosy Was Brought to the U.S. by South East Asians, not Hispanics. Duh!

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Don’t believe everything you hear: Lou Dobbs is actually our BFF and he wants us to know we are not the ones responsible for bringing leprosy to this country… it was -who else?– those damn South East Asians…!

So, in solidarity with my fellow, recently-fired communicator, I am hereby boycotting curry and noodles [until further notice].

[If you have nothing better to do, and want to watch the full interview, where Telemundo’s María Celeste Arrarás calls him “Mr. Dobb” instead of Mr. Dobbs- click here:]

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Ready to Cross the Border? Don’t Forget to Bring your TIT [Transborder Immigrant Tool]

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Ready to cross the Rio Grande but have no idea what direction to take?

Worry no more, vatos! Ricardo Domínguez, a Mexican activist, hacker and -from this day on- this blogger’s favorite person ever, has come up with a tool to assist Mexicans migrant workers to safely cross the border into the U.S.

According to Domínguez, who actually has a legit job at the University of California in San Diego, all you need is a $30 GPS-ready Motorola phone, which you can comfortably purchase on eBay.

Now you know.

So next time you see a group of kick-ass-looking border governors trying to scare you away, just follow your TIT and -as our friend Johnny would say- Keep Walkin.’