The above is a tweet by The Economist regarding my people’s* penchant for sugary drinks.
*By ‘my people’ I mean tiny clowns clad in sarapes and big hats.
Category: Latin America
Syrian Refugee Crisis: Whatever Happened to the Old Political Debate about Rejecting Mexicans Instead?
Being Mexican, and having lived in several countries, I’ve seen my share of political idiocy and horrors. But as it turns out, nothing had prepared me for the current “debate” taking place right now in my now adopted country about whether to restrict — or altogether block — the entry of Syrian refugees.
I mean, seriously: Are you guys for real? Have you not been following any of this?
Of course I was not going to use this blog to vent my fury share my thoughts about the Syrian refugee crisis. I was just planning on burying my head in the sand and cry in desperation.
Fortunately for this blogger, Stephen Colbert came and put it in a way that at least made me smile a little — yeah, only a little.
The question of whether to let Syrian refugees into this country has become the new political issue; completely overshadowing the old political issue: Whether to let Mexicans into this country.
It’s a Hollywood Miracle! Chile’s 33 Rescued Miners Speak Fluent English
In August 2010, 33 Chilean miners were trapped 700 meters underground and about 5 kilometers from a mine’s entrance in Copiapó, Chile, where they remained for an agonizing 69 days until the 33 of them were rescued, alive and almost all in good medical condition.
So far so good.
Enter Hollywood, a clueless Mexican director and an enthusiast crowd of subtitle-intolerant Americans. The result: The 33, a film directed by Patricia Riggen, a Mexican-born director whose dubious credentials include La misma luna, a movie I saw, so that you don’t have to.
I am not going to bother you with details behind The 33, simply because A) I have not seen it; B) I have no intention of doing so and C) I think there are many things you could do with those $13 instead (there are some killer happy hours out there.)
In addition, according to my sources, the trama takes place in English, because as we all know, the poorly-paid, poorly-educated mining workers of Copiapó are fluent in the language of Shakespeare, with heavy accents if you will (thus the presence of Antonio Banderas) but still…
Watch. Cringe. Do NOT repeat.
The 33 is opening nationwide Nov. 13 but you don’t have to see it. Do yourself a favor and READ THIS INSTEAD.
‘Tamales en Bolsita:’ Because Nothing is Sacred Anymore
Photo: RichoGoma
Ferrari Preps for Mexican Grand Prix with Hilarious Promo Chuck-Full of Stereotypes
As Scuderia Ferrari prepares for the upcoming Mexico Grand Prix, Mexico born Ferrari racer Esteban Gutiérrez gives team members Vettel y Raikkonen a quick — and hilarious — 5-step tutorial on how to prepare for Mexico.
- Learn the importance of güey and hecho la mocha
- How to properly eat a taco (hint: stick your ass a little bit)
- How read the Aztec calendar
- Learn to sing with a mariachi
- Pick the right sombrero (i.e. a racing helmet, of course!)
¡Ajúa!
Hat tip: Lorenzo Parro
BREAKING: I’m Moving to Mexico — Mexico, NY, that Is
Go figure.
After all these years living in regular New York (i.e. Manhattan, what else?) I just learned there is a town called Mexico, located in the northeast part of Oswego County, New York.
According to the always-reliable Wikipedia, the Town of Mexico has a population of 5,197 and contains a village also named Mexico. What’s more, there’s a Mexico High School (once called Mexico Academy,) a Mexico Middle School and even a Mexico Elementary School.
This fact opens up amazing opportunities for this blogger, who can no longer afford to live in regular New York and misses the thrills of living in a place called Mexicou. After all, Mexico, NY officials claim, this town is “A great place to live, work and play.”
That might be so, but before making such a radical move, this blogger will be embarking on a serious investigation of Mexico’s taco-situation, which will ultimately make or break the deal.
Stay tuned.
Meanwhile, at the Hillary Clinton Campaign Headquarters…
Hillary: Quick! What should I do to get all these Latin people excited about me and stuff?
Latino adviser: Just tweet something; pepper some Spanish words and make sure to mention a fiesta. You’ll be just fine.
¡Ay caramba!
John Oliver’s Take on Peña Nieto’s #YaChole Campaign Is a Thing of Beauty
It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Mexico is a mess, and that President Enrique Peña Nieto, Mexico’s most unpopular president to date, is not doing much to help.
In fact, Peña Nieto’s most recent ad campaign asking Mexicans to just “stop complaining” quickly backfired, leading the government to pull the ad from its official YouTube page. But as everybody (except Peña Nieto and his advisers) knows, what happens on the Internet, stays on the Internet. And thanks to this, brilliant people like John Oliver can make sense of the nonsense, making sure things are not easily forgotten.
Remember, EPN: “You can’t delete anything from the Internet. The only way to guarantee no one will see something online is to put it on Newsweek.com”
So, gracias John!
Spanish-Dubbed Chinese Telenovelas Are Way Better than Regular Telenovelas
This is a story of love, passion and betrayal, but its main protagonists do not boast names like Camila Valentina, or Eduardo Alberto Manuel.
Meet Xie An Zhen and Wen Rui Fan, the protagonists of Esposa valiente (Xi Li Ren Qi in Chinese, or The Fierce Wife) a nightly telenovela airing nightly on Spanish-language KJLA-TV channel 57 in Los Angeles.
The story might sound familiar to any drama lover: Xie An Zhen is happily married with one daughter until her husband cheats on her with her cousin, and “the ensuing divorce becomes a battle of love and wits.” But Esposa valiente is not your typical telenovela. It is, in fact, part of an initiative by the Taiwanese government to promote Taiwanese culture in the U.S.
“If we talk about politics every day, nobody will listen,” Steve Hsia, director-general of the Taipei Economic and Cultural Office in Los Angeles, told the Los Angeles Times. “If we can shorten the distance between Taiwan and other nations through culture, that’s helpful.”
I’m not sure if this thing is going to shorten the distance between Latinos and Taiwan, but the story looks juicy enough for this blogger to go get hooked. Oh, and the dubbing makes it particularly awesome!
Via: Los Angeles Times
Univision Series for ‘Billennials’ Is Mix of Comedy, Drama, Emojis and Plenty of Profanity
In an ongoing effort to pursue millennials (aka good-for-nothings-who-are-obsessed-with-Snapchat) Univision today announced the launch of Tenemos que hablar, a Spanish-language web series that follows “the rocky, and often hilarious, long-distance relationship between 20-year-old Emilia and her boyfriend Bobi, who just moved from Mexico to Miami.”
Filmed in Mexico and Miami, the 12-episode series features “YouTube stars” Daniel Tovar and Ricardo Polanco, whom I’m sure are very well known in their respective households and among millennials and billennials (as Univision calls bilingual millennials.) The series will be available only on Univision.com and on Univision’s YouTube channel, because as everybody knows, millennials are a lazy, pathetic bunch that cannot afford cable and won’t watch TV anyway.
Besides, given the excess amount of expletives, I’m sure it will be a headache trying to air this thing to on broadcast television.
As for myself, I’m pretty sure I won’t be watching. After all, I’m on my way to becoming healthier, wealthier and — OF COURSE– wiser.
According to Nielsen, I’ll be ‘Wealthy, Healthy and Wise’ Very Soon… So, Yay!
If everything goes according to plan — and if Nielsen’s latest research is accurate — I will no longer be poor, unhealthy and prone to making poor decisions.
According to Nielsen’s The New American Vanguard, a 2015 report on Latinos 50+:
“While younger Hispanics are commanding wide-spread attention, it’s actually older Hispanics who are leading the way, extending a strong cultural influence over their families and their communities at large.”
In fact, Hispanics 50+ will kick so much butt that they “will lead the way by living and working longer, establishing increased wealth potential and bearing the torch as the cultural matriarchs in their families and communities.”
And that is not all. In addition to being wealthy and a “cultural matriarch,” it looks like I will also be healthier (at last!). According to page 23 of said report, I will soon prefer “healthy and organic food,” which apparently means I’ll be ditching street tacos in favor of a kale-based, gluten-free diet.
Last but not least, and because being wealthy and healthy is certainly not enough, I’ll be making smarter choices in my life. Apparently, once I turn 50, I’ll be playing a crucial role “in the formation of a new mainstream society that is culturally inclusive as well as rooted in traditional American values of patriotism, hard work, personal optimism and faith in Americans’ collective future.”
Really? Wow! I can’t wait.
Hugh Jackman Is in Mexico and Wants Tacos. Mexicans Take to Twitter to Help
Do yourself a favor and read some of the 500+ responses to Hugh’s tweet. Some of them are gold.
Best taco in Mexico City … Recommendations please! pic.twitter.com/7mfAPfwpEE
— Hugh Jackman (@RealHughJackman) octubre 7, 2015
‘The New York Times’ Wants you to Think Mary Magdalene is the Patron Saint of Mexico
Hat tip: A gringo in Querétaro
When Pope Francis Came to East Harlem…
Pope Francis took time of his hectic agenda to visit the children of East Harlem. My people (i.e. The Latinos and the Harlemites) wasted no time in peddling all kinds of Pope and Vatican-themed merchandise, from flags and buttons to t-shirts and bananas.
I wish I had more time to document this historic day, but I was in a rush, riding a tiny bike and almost got killed by a Latino Pope enthusiast.
Photos: Laura Martínez. Sept. 25, 2015. East Harlem
Jeb Celebrates Hispanic Heritage with Spanish-Language Ad Featuring ‘Abuelas’, Anchor Babies
While a bunch of prominent Latinos are getting ready to sing about their Mexicanness — in English — a prominent self-appointed Latino, Jeb Bush, is affirming his Americanness with a one-minute campaign advertisement in an almost spotless Spanish.
In a brand new spot — released just in time for Hispandering Heritage Month — Spanish-speaking Jeb! says “we” (apparently meaning Americans and Mexicans) all have the same interests and share the same feelings, and he also takes the opportunity to share some pretty pics of his anchor Mexican-American children.
Todos somos americanos also features a rare appearance from his wife of 41 years, Columba, not Columbia, nor Colombia, who is from Mexico.
