It’s a Hollywood Miracle! Chile’s 33 Rescued Miners Speak Fluent English

We’re trapped; we’re poorly paid… but hey, we’re bilingual!’

In August 2010, 33 Chilean miners were trapped 700 meters underground and about 5 kilometers from a mine’s entrance in Copiapó, Chile, where they remained for an agonizing 69 days until the 33 of them were rescued, alive and almost all in good medical condition.

So far so good.

Enter Hollywood, a clueless Mexican director and an enthusiast crowd of subtitle-intolerant Americans. The result: The 33, a film directed by Patricia Riggen, a Mexican-born director whose dubious credentials include La misma luna, a movie I saw, so that you don’t have to.

I am not going to bother you with details behind The 33, simply because A) I have not seen it; B) I have no intention of doing so and C) I think there are many things you could do with those $13 instead (there are some killer happy hours out there.)

In addition, according to my sources, the trama takes place in English, because as we all know, the poorly-paid, poorly-educated mining workers of Copiapó are fluent in the language of Shakespeare, with heavy accents if you will (thus the presence of Antonio Banderas) but still…

Watch. Cringe. Do NOT repeat.

The 33 is opening nationwide Nov. 13 but you don’t have to see it. Do yourself a favor and READ THIS INSTEAD.

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