Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
We didn’t plan for this to go public, but ‘The New York Times’ had to go and ruin it for us. Yes, part of Latinos’ master plan to sneak into this country is by disguising ourselves as movie mascots.
What the New York Times doesn’t know is that once we have managed to sneak in (like Mr. Martinez, above) we then move onto Phase II of the plan, which consists of a more elaborate scheme to rapidly populate the country.
It is no secret that we (i.e. “The Mexicans”) are taking over the so-called Big Apple. And we are doing this quietly and deliciously, by replacing your Ketchup with salsa; your bagels with tortillas; your apple pie with buñuelos, etc.
But -as we all know- with acculturation comes the making up of words / concepts, so my paisanos over at the Chelsea Street Fair this weekend treated me with a delicious huarche, one I gulped down with 2 liters of Jarrito de Tamarindo.
I love Manhatitlán.
Take James Fulford, a writer over at anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalism, anti-coherence online community Vdare, who recently took to the web to denounce “upper-class, disloyal Hispanic journalists (specifically Univision’s Cristina Costantini) for “campaigning to import lower class illegals—who won’t live in their neighborhoods.”
According to Fulford, Costantini –whom he refers to as “Cosantini” for some reason– is totally biased in favor of immigrants, because (duh!) she works at Fusion, a company partly owned by Univision, which in turn is “owned” by none other than the “cute-as-a-button* blue-eyed, Mexican journalist Jorge Ramos.”
Way to go, Mr. Fulford! I’m adding your website to my list of favorites; it is not very often that racist, ignorant remarks make me laugh so hard that I almost choked on my gordita de chicharrón.
*The “cute-as-a-button” part is mine.
And you thought Mexico’s only contribution to this glorious country were tacos, salsa and drug-related violence…
Starting mid-August a new line of El Chavo toys will be available at major U.S. retailers, including Toys R Us, Kmart, Walmart and -ahem, ahem- Target, the corporation behind this awesome Hispanic guide targeted to non-Hispanics who wish to understanding Hispanics.
I don’t know you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on a tiny plush version of La Popis or Doña Florinda, which I’m sure are all going to be Made-in-China, but isn’t everything Made-in-China these days?
[I’d take a Ñoño doll a hundred times over this other one]
In light of recent developments, (news that Target Corp.’s management gave bosses some very valuable information about Hispanics) this blogger decided to add a few items to an already stupid comprehensive list of how to go about Hispanic employees.
Target Corp.’s document, first published by Courthouse News Service, informed company managers that “Not all Hispanic employees eat tacos, dance to salsa or wear sombreros,” (ignore the above photograph for one second) or that Mexicans have lower education and “might be undocumented.” So far so good… But it missed some equally important, and worth-making points… So, let’s just get right to them, shall we?
1) Mexicans will always end a sentence with “ito” no matter how much they hate your guts and wish to kill you: i.e. “Con permisito;” “Por favorcito,” “Al ratito,” “Un momentito,” etc.
2) Argentines will go out of their way to convince you they are not Hispanic, which is OK because they really are not, and chances are they are not working at Target anyhow. They will always end up a sentence with “boludo.”
3) Cubans are not only political refuges and better educated –as your document accurately states. They are going to throw a fit every time they see the “other Latinos” wearing a Ché Guevara T-shirt or any other outfit reminiscent of the so-called Cuban revolution. More often than not, Cubans will side with the gringos; not with the Latin ‘chusma.’
4) Not all Mexicans are into tacos: Actually, most of us prefer tortas ahogadas, mondongo, pozole, pancita, machitos, moronga, criadillas, tlayudas, pambazos, etc. etc.
5) Puerto Ricans will probably pay zero attention to whatever you tell them: They are going to be busy listening to reggaetón and holding on to their pants.
6) No matter how hard you try, they (i.e. all Hispanics) just probably going to say “pinche gringo, ya no estés jodiendo” as soon as you turn your back to them. In your face, though, they will be super nice and just say: ¡Sí, señor, ahorita, ahorita lo hago! un momentito.
7) Ecuadoreans and Bolivians are very different but you should always treat them as if they were Peruvians just to piss them off.*
*Last addition by Alberto Ferreras
An ill-informed individual, presumably not Mexican (nor Indian) thought it would be an awesome idea to convey his/her thoughts on population control on a $1 bill… And, of course, of the millions of people who transact money on a daily basis in this wonderful city, I was the lucky one to get this as change in my neighborhood bodega.
The buck stops here.
Please bear with me. I’m in Spain and taking it real easy. More complex posts coming soon. Or not.
Photo: Laura Martínez, Sabadell, Barcelona.
The Spain-born singer (God) will forever be this blogger’s favorite artist. Dancer. Singer. Casanova. Gay. Or Not. So. Get Over it. Just enjoy this video and watch it over, and over, and over again (Paying special attention to minute 2:30)
Will Ya?
For those of you who still think tacos look like this, there’s literary aid coming your way.
Mexican editor Déborah Holtz last night was in Manhattan, presenting La Tacopedia, the result of a five-year taco research documenting everything you’ll ever need to know about tacos: From their origin and their different species, to the brave men and women who make them. “We wanted to make a book that smelled of tacos,” said Holtz, whose book includes -what else?- the recipe for 36 delicious super salsas.
Unfortunately, La Tacopedia is currently available only in Spanish, but this blogger is one crafty freelancer and has decided to stalk Ms. Holtz until she gives me the green light to translate this jewel into English.
[Now, if she doesn’t give me the green light, at least she should provide me with some green salsa.]
And just when I thought the whole Negrito Bimbo marketing couldn’t get any worse, @elderriver this week spotted this Bimbo moving ad in Mexico City.
What happens when an old Chinese ninja master meets a group of cumbia musicians living in a Latin American slum controlled by drug dealers?
Well, I’m not really sure but we will soon find out, as MundoFox last week announced the upcoming premiere of Cumbia Ninja, an original series set in a Latin American slum (we’re not sure which one, but I guess they’re all the same,) where a young idealist and his buddies come up with an unusual way to clean up the streets where they live.
I don’t know you, but anything that doesn’t include a septuagenarian dancing around with a group of scantily-clad Latinas on a Saturday afternoon or some evil twin trying to poison the hacendado in a primetime telenovela sounds very refreshing.
It is no secret that international air travel is undergoing a severe financial crisis; with fuel costing a lot of money and all. But airline owners are a creative bunch and have found “innovative” ways to make additional cash, including charging us extra money to use the bathroom; to take an extra piece of luggage or to seat between rows 5 through 45.
But Mexican airline Aeroméxico has gone even further and is now using its aircrafts to pitch the latest installment of Iron Man, which by the way pulled almost $36 million since opening in Mexico less than two weeks ago.
So, I’m not sure what they are waiting for. Just change the company name to IronMéxico and get the whole thing over with.
Photo: @don_Marquito
Yes, there is a place called Santa María Pipioltepec in the State of Mexico. And yes, Mi blog es tu blog has a correspondent there.
Well, sort of.
Say what you will about Tecate, but the beer maker knows a thing or two about Mexican men and their tricky ways to get women do what they want (namely to get them cold beers from the fridge.)
I don’t know you, but I found the following spot truly amusing.*
*NOTE: For those enraged Latinas ready to start screaming and/or propose a boycott against Tecate or something, please contact the company directly or its ad agency in Mexico, not this blogger. Thank you for your cooperation.
When it comes to Hispanic eating habits, there is not such a thing as “enough research.” Take the latest from Technomic, a Chicago-based firm that this week revealed that Hispanics are more inclined to dine out than the general market. Really? Yes, really. According to Technomic:
“63 percent of Hispanics surveyed said that restaurants are an “ideal” place to spend time with family, compared to just 52 percent of the general market.”
But that is not all: According to said research, “Hispanics value authenticity in a restaurant too,” which basically means they would pay more food described as “authentic,” which –according to photo editors at the Chicago Business Journal— means American-style, hard-shell tacos.
I don’t know about the rest of you, “other Hispanics,” but my ideal dining out experience looks a little different; it looks really like this:
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 