Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d know by now Venezuela’s Hugo Chávez has banned a bunch of television shows, including two of Telemundo’s blockbusters, Caso Cerrado and 12 Corazones, denouncing them as “degrading” and even claiming the latter “reduces relationships to genitals.”
Ay, señor Chávez, usted siempre tan exagerado… I’ve seen dozens of clips like the one posted above and to this day, I have seen no genitals. Yet.
Turns out Nicaragua invaded neighboring Costa Rica this, only to blame Google Maps for the embarrassing incident.
As it turns out, Nicaragua’s highest military “intelligence” relied solely on Google Maps to figure out their country’s borders, and in no way “meant” to go where nobody had invited them to.
As a Nicaraguan commander told the local press: he was just following what Google Maps said, and he never intended to go into the neighboring country.
But Google Maps was not ready to take blame for the whole mess, and instead quickly pointed the finger to the real culprit:
I am still waiting on the U.S. State Department’s answer, but I think they are still trying to figure out where this whole thing is taking place.
Attention, Latin American workers working in rotten conditions: Hang on to your dreams -and hopes: You never know when your crummy, underpaid, terribly dangerous job will help you land a spot in the New York City marathon and make you a star of late-night television.
If it happened to Edison Peña, it can happen to all of us! [or not]
Of course, this was not the first time Mexico’s “beloved” -and virtually illiterate- former president made a mistake of the literary nature. But at least before he was busy saying stupid things on TV, that we didn’t have to be hit with his barbaridades every 60 seconds with his Twitter updates.
If you needed one more reason to fear “The Mexicans” consider this: not content with dropping babies all over the place, we are ready to take over by having our very own extraterrestrial creatures invade North America.
At least that’s what I was able to piece together from watching the trailer -and visual propaganda- of the upcoming piece of shit blockbuster Monsters, written and directed by the very unknown Garreth Edwards and starring a bunch of people I’ve never heard of.
Grab your escopetas, gringos, here come the real Mexican aliens!
I told you! It was just a matter of time before somebody found out what we (i.e. immigrants) have been cooking up all these years: Taking over America by birthing lots of little creatures to populate this country.
According to the brilliant, anti-immigrant movement, what America is undergoing right now is a serious case of “Invasion by Birth Canal,” by which “illegal immigrants smuggle themselves into the U.S. to have ‘anchor babies,’” which I can only suppose means babies of people such as Jorge Ramos or María Elena Salinas, right?
[I always knew those two -and some 12 million more- were a sneaky bunch.]
Watch some more about this nonsense below:
Vodpod videos no longer available.Jon Stewart: ‘Anchor Babies’ Sounds Like A New …, posted with vodpod
Vodpod videos no longer available.
A picture circulating the Internet shows a screen shot of Chicago TV’s channel WGN-9 during a broadcast of the recent World Cup in South Africa, featuring a map of South America labeled “South Africa.”
I have not been able to find the actual broadcast, but a comments page on Chicago’s News at Nine still shows some viewer’s comments regarding the blunder.
Upon reading about this geographic mistake, I could not help but wonder: in its tireless search for Osama Bin Laden, are Americans looking in the right continent? [I mean, I’m just asking…]
Hat tip: LatinVision
Spanish industrial conglomerate CEPSA couldn´t find a better excuse time to gloat on Spain´s not-so-glorious past.
(For the monolingual crowd: The ad states: The World is Ours…Once Again)
If you are remotely familiar with Univision and it’s exclusive Spanish-language rights to the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, I’m certain you have heard the now ubiquitous Waka-Waka, a melody everybody wants us to believe was written from scratch by the super famous 33-year old Colombian singer Shakira.
Well… years before the hip-queen even reached puberty, the Waka-Waka was already a sensation, first performed live on Latin American television by the wonderful Las Chicas del Can, under the original title of Waka-Waka: El Negro no puede, freely translated by myself as: Waka-Waka The Black Guy Can’t Get it Up.
So, without further ado, here are both versions. Watch and judge for yourselves…
Which is your favorite Waka-Waka?
Hat tip: Carlitos [manito] Tropical
Hugo Chávez knows Hillary Clinton is not particularly fond of him. So the Venezuelan leader decided to improvise a heartfelt melody about their mutual dislike for each other. Enjoy, and if you don’t understand the lyrics, read below:
Hillary Clinton doesn’t love me, but that’s OK, since I don’t like her either
Some blame it on the bad omen that Mr. Calderón will bring to South Africa this week, but in a rehearsal that took part this week at Soccer City to test all the technical details of the grand event, South Africa kicked Mexico’s butt 2 goals to 1.
Oh well, at least we got one goal, which is the very least we can expect this Friday.
Let’s pray!
Ok, people, if you needed one more reason to root for El Tri at this year’s 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, consider this:
Diego Maradona has promised to run naked through the center of Buenos Aires if Argentina wins the World Cup.
So please, repeat after me: ¡Que gane México! ¡Que gane México!…
In which case, this blogger promises to start eating more sandwiches and spare you the embarrassment of seeing the results.
Will the editors at the Washington Post kindly point ‘Columbia’ in a map? I think it’s somewhere around West Harlem, but I’m not sure.
If you thought you knew everything about soccer and about Argentinian’s passion for the sport and their own God (i.e. Diego Maradona), think again.
This summer, la Iglesia Maradoniana (the Maradona Church) counts 40,000 loyal followers. Their religion is simple: Nuestra religión es el fútbol y como toda religión ha de tener un Dios. (Our religion is soccer, and as such it has to have a God.) …So guess who this God is?
Unfortunately, the church’s Web site has not been translated -yet- into English; but for those of you lucky enough to understand the language of God, I leave you with Diego’s own Our Father:
Diego nuestro que estás en la tierra,
santificada sea tu zurda,
Venga a nosotros tu magia,
háganse tus goles recordar,
así en la tierra como en el cielo.
Danos hoy una alegría en este día,
y perdona aquellos periodistas
así como nosotros perdonamos
a la mafia napolitana.
No nos dejes manchar la pelota
y líbranos de Havelange…
Diego
