St. Patrick’s Day: The Other Binge Drinking Mexican Holiday

st_patricks_mexico_2

Go ahead; wear green and go out get drunk or whatever it is you do this weekend. But don’t forget Saint Patrick’s Day is a celebration of the Batallón de San Patricio, which according to Wikipedia my extensive readings of history books, was a unit of hundreds of immigrants and expats who fought as part of the Mexican Army against the United States.

Of course for Americans of the generation that fought the Mexican-American War, the San Patricios were considered traitors, while for Mexicans of that generation (and pretty much to this day) the San Patricios were heroes.

Now you know.

Now go get some green tequila and Irish tacos.

Is Duolingo not Helping your English Practice?

When everything else fails…

Did you buy all the Inglés sin Barreras audiobooks or downloaded apps like Duolingo but nothing helps to improve your English skills?

Worry not! In this practical manual for the good use of the English language, the Lord himself comes to the rescue… and he even gives you some tips on how to pass the U.S. citizenship test. And it’s only $8.99!

Via: Amazon

Colombia Vows to Fight Stereotypes with… Stereotypes

Tired of having Colombia being portrayed as a country plagued by drug violence and prostitution, two Colombian enterprises and the Medellín City Hall have joined forces to launch The Colombian Ambush, an online campaign aimed at showing the world the real Colombia, one that has given us many great things, including “Gabo,” one of the world’s greatest writers.

The campaign will live exclusively online and is being crafted by Dallas-based Dieste. A series of videos have been directed by Simón Brand and use the typical Colombian stereotype to fight … the Colombian stereotype.

In Patrón, for example, we are presented with a scene very similar to Season I of Narcos, the Netflix sensation about the bloody era of the Pablo Escobar years. But instead of witnessing an exchange of drugs –or weapons– we see men exchanging books… books by the great García Márquez.

Watch as a very unusual patrón scolds his men for not bringing La Hojarasca.

(Oh, and while we’re at it, PLEASE REMEMBER: It’s Colombia, Not Columbia.)

Via: CNET en Español

 

Malala Yousafzai Meets Enrique Peña Nieto; Hilarity Ensues

#ItsMalalaNotMaluma

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I’m sure you are aware that Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai was in Mexico this week as part of a larger “humanitarian” world tour.

On Thursday, while in Mexico, Malala spoke at the Technological Institute of Monterrey in Mexico City and met president Enrique Peña Nieto, who proudly tweeted a picture of the meeting.

Sooner than you can say “infraschorchor,” Mexicans took to Twitter to do what we do best: To mock our fearless leader.

Here are only a few of the tweets that made my Thursday –and still are helping me get through Friday.

IT’S MALUMA NOT MALALA

LET’S SING ALONG

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… EYEROLL

IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?

OUCH

THURSDAY

OUCH II

KEEPING HER DISTANCE

According to Some ‘Bovine Writer,’ there are 14 Species of Latinas in the U.S. [Can you Guess Where I Belong?]

Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States
Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States

Some “writer” in the United States has written Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States, a $17.99 “book” that promises to help gringos “find and identify the right Latina to date, love or marry.”

I’m going to spare you the details of this thing, but let’s say in a nutshell that — according to this aptly-named Bovino fellow — there are 14 SPECIES of us (i.e. Latinas of the United States). Fourteen, people, fourteen. Among them:

  • SYMMETRICAL FORCE (Colombian American): Butt size varies, but breast implants are practically a rite of passage and she likes ‘em BIG.
  • TRIFECTA (Venezuelan American): Routinely causes an erection lasting more than 4 hours, but neediness, jealousy, and controlling behavior – a real “trifecta” of drama – occasionally spoil the mood.
  • TACO BELLE (Mexican American): Warm and cuddly as a teddy bear but (somewhat) shy around strangers, especially gringos.
  • TRANSFORMER (Cuban American): If her breasts are large enough to match her hips and butt, she can be a Latin Jessica Rabbit, but too much Cuban food or too many kids and she’ll transform into Rosie O’Donnell right before your eyes.

Mr. Bovino fails to identify this blogger, but I can assure him after I review this thing on Amazon, he’d like to call my species THE MEXICAN AMAZON RATINGS KILLER.

[SIGH]

Hat tip: The Flama

Nonsensical Trend of Putting an ‘Ñ’ where it Doesn’t Belong Extends to Marketing World

Excuse-me?
Transformative, Visionary & ‘Pioñeering’

Remember the “Latiñas” in Media New York Conference?

How about Spaiñ?

Well, it looks like the foolish trend of putting accents and eñes where they don’t belong is making its way to the media world.

According to NBC News, a group of “prominent Latinos” (is there any other kind?) has come together to found Ingeñuity a “content and experiential event firm that aims to connect clients with diverse audiences, with a focus on the Latino community.”

I’m not 100 percent sure, but I think they meant to say it’s a conteñt and experieñtial eveñt firm to coññect Latiño clieñts.

Ay, carambiña!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Appropriately, my Book Is Featured on Cheesy ‘Latin’ Video

TalkDirtyYoutube

I don’t mean to brag, but you know? I wrote a book. Yes, a physical thing made of paper and ink, which was actually sold in Amazon.com and all, making it –at some point– to the New York Times list of The 500 Books You Will be Well Advised to Ignore (i.e. Not Buy.)

Anyhow, I did not make a penny out of the thing, but I had tons of fun co-writing it with the insanely funny Alexis Munier, an American nutcase imported from Switzerland, who came knocking on my Inbox many moons ago.

But I digress. It is with great delight [and thanks to the watchful eye of Diego Olivé] that I’m happy to see my opera prima reaching YouTube-celebrity status as important footage in this Lorrie Morgan & Sammy Kershaw rendition of He Drinks Tequila.

Here is Talk Dirty: Spanish, in all its literary glory.

This. Blogger. Can. Now. Die. In. Peace.