Conan Is Heading to Mexico to Repair U.S.-Mexico Relations, Because Nobody Else Can

Conan will be Made in Mexico!
Conan will be Made in Mexico!

In these “interesting times,” in which the most important diplomatic decisions are made on Twitter, it’s only fitting that the only person that seems qualified to repair the much damaged U.S.-Mexico relation is… a television comedian.

Sí, señor. Conan O’Brien, who jumped to this blog’s fame with his telenovela Noches de Pasión, will be taping an entire episode of his TV show in Mexico, using an all-Mexican staff, crew, guests and studio audience.

The goal? Apparently to investigate if such a barbaric country can produce more than just criminals and rapists.

Conan Without Borders: Made In Mexico premieres Wednesday, March 1st on TBS and this blogger cannot wait!

Anheuser-Busch Debuts Bad ‘Mexican’ Beer with an Even Worse Commercial

jaliscopromo

Estrella Jalisco, a beer brand you’ve never heard of (and one you should probably never drink) has decided to make its U.S. debut by pitching its own idea of “mexicanidad,” namely turning a regular American neighborhood into an animated fiesta, complete with charros, mariachis and papel picado.

The spot is as bad as you could expect from a “Mexican” beer concocted by Anheuser-Busch InBev, purveyors of everything but “mexicanidad.”

Anyhow…

WATCH. CRINGE. DO NOT REPEAT

Corona Beer to Trump: America is not a Country, you Dimwit!

América con acento, por favor
América con acento, por favor

America Great Again? Bitch, please…

In a jab to “President” Donald Trump, Corona Beer this week launched a new video on its YouTube page, which basically makes a point this blogger has been hammering pretty much all her [adult] life: America is not a country. America is a continent… And a big one at that…

We are the belly button of this world… and its lungs

We are hot blooded, we are poetry, art, and chants…

We are constant revolution

We are 35 united states

Americanos somos todos… 

… and so on

The spot concludes by urging fans to join Corona’s fan page to show their pride about being American, or something to that effect. WATCH:

Apple Picks Mexico City to Showcase AirPods, Because CDMX is ‘Muy Cool’

mexicocity

Apple has launched its first commercial for its not-yet-widely-available wireless earbuds (aka AirPods.) And what better way to show how cool something is than by having a freestyle dancer roaming my birth city while listening to music?

There are several things that give it away, but it’s mostly the signs — and overall beautiful decadence of La Capirucha.

Via: YouTube/Apple

Donald Trump’s Private Jet Was Previously Owned by Mexicans, Because Karma and #LOL

trumpplane

I refused to believe this at first, but after much Google searching investigative reporting, I was able to find a somewhat reliable source confirming the fact that President Elect Donald Trump’s private jet used to belong to TAESA, a Mexican airline I’d rather forget it ever existed.

I’m not the kind of reporter that will spend hours into the shenanigans of private jet ownership issues and stuff (I’d leave that to the experts i.e. Kent German) but I just thought it was simply awesome that His Orange Majesty, King of Palm Beach and Lord of the Big Walls surfs the skies on a mamotreto once operated by TAESA.

Big, big LOL…

Via: Planespotters.net and Mirror Online

To all Followers — and Detractors — of this Venerable Blog:

ForLeaseNavidad

Before you go all crazy on me, let me clarify one thing: I did not invent the above awesomeness — of course. I have been busy taking siestas, eating tacos and sipping tequila (I’m Mexican, remember?) to be working on such an elaborate work of art.

Thank God I have the entire World Wide Web working for me to serve you people better.

So, without further ado: ¡Feliz Navidad, Happy New Year and all that. I hope to see y’all here in 2017 and beyond*

*Hay que darle duro al Trumpo

Mexico’s Environment Ministry Taps non-Diverse Children to Promote Bio-Diversity: LOL

semarnat

Leave it to Mexican casting directors — and advertising agencies — to enlist the least diverse group of children to star in a commmercial touting, well, the country’s amazing bio-diversity.

Not that I’m really surprised since Mexicans on television tend to look a bit whiter than your average Mexican, but still.

BESIDES: What the hell is going on in this commercial? Why not feature ACTUAL animals, plants and such?

As my paisanos like to say: El chiste se cuenta solo… 

Via: Semarnat on Twitter

‘Tis the Season… to Battle Coke’s Mexican Christmas Spirit

A Diabetes tree has risen in the middle of Mexico City
A Diabetes tree has risen in the middle of Mexico City

Here we go again.

Barely one year after Coca-Cola unleashed the fury of this blogger — and many, many more people — with a ridiculous holiday commercial set in Oaxaca, the beverage giant is on the hot seat again.

The reason? Mexico City officials have allowed the company to put up a gigantic Coca-Cola-themed Christmas tree right in the middle of the city’s main square.

The offending, plasticky huge thing is now being labelled by activists as the Diabetes Tree, which is just a perfect way to “celebrate” the deathly toll the disease has taken on my people.

So, as the suits over at Coca-Cola would say: Feliz Navidad, suckers!

Via: Aristegui Noticias

Mexico’s Top Diplomat Wins First Prize in Guacamole Competition, Because Mexico

Claudia Ruiz Massieu was the lucky winner of the country's 2016 #RetoGuacamole
Claudia Ruiz Massieu was the lucky winner of the country’s 2016 #RetoGuacamole

Claudia Ruiz Massieu, Mexico’s Secretary of Foreign Affairs, beat a bunch of other cabinet members in the challenging task of… preparing a guacamole.

The stunt, known in social media simply as the Guacamole Challenge (#RetoGuacamole) officially kicked off the 2016 edition of the nation’s Food Show. This blogger can only anticipate some great diplomacy coming from her birth country in the next few years, as our leaders prepare to face the Orange Clown.

Via: Milenio

How a Quinceañera Party in Mexico Became a Viral Sensation

xv

OK you might have no idea who any of these people are, but thanks to Facebook, the Ibarra Family from San Luis Potosí, Mexico might be hosting the biggest fiesta in the history of YUUUUGE FIESTAS.

After the proud father of a quinceañera named Ruby uploaded a video (below) on his Facebook page inviting “the community” to his daughter’s party, Mexicans started to respond “Yes, I’m attending.” The reason? Instead of picking a group of friends and/or family, the dad posted it as a Public Post, thus inviting every single soul to the bash on December 26, 2016.

At press time, over 994,000 people had already signed up to attend Ruby’s Quinceañera. (This blogger included, of course!)

I'm going!
I’m going!
Here is the original video. Click and … what are you waiting for? Send your RSVP now!:

Via: Norte Digital

Hold onto your Sombrero! UNESCO Declares ‘Charrería’ Intangible Cultural Heritage

charros

Ok, not everything sucks this 2016.

UNESCO this week declared Mexican charrería as “Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity.”

For the uninitiated — and especially for those who think Mexicans are offended by sombreros — charrería is a traditional practice dedicated to the breeding and grazing of cattle on horseback.

Via: UNESCO

 

NBC Preps ‘The Wall,’ a Show Featuring a Yuuuuuge Wall

wallnbc

NBC, the network that brought us The Apprentice and other similar calamities, is set to premiere The Wall, a new game show produced by NBA superstar LeBron James and hosted by Chris Hardwick.

Per NBC itself, The Wall is “the fastest and simplest game,” and it consists of — yes, you guessed it! — a yuuuuge wall built for one purpose: “To change people’s lives.”

Call me crazy but I don’t think this is exactly a good time to launch anything that looks and/or sounds as “a wall that will change people’s lives.”

I mean, HELLO!

Via: Deadline.com

 

Fidel Castro Is Dead, Because 2016

On November 25, 2016, at around 10:00 PM local time, Raúl Castro confirmed the dead of Fidel Castro, the Cuban revolutionary who was the nemesis of 11 U.S. presidents. He was 90.

This blogger has yet to process this information, and it won’t be easy, mostly because 2016 has been hitting us with one calamity after another. PLUS… I’m still trying to recover from a week-long tacos/tamales smörgåsbord in Mexico City.

My whole family is in mourning mood right now, though I had to remind them the worst is yet to come… Hello, Jan. 20, 2017!

Can 2016 please take us all and get this thing over with?

RIP FIDEL