Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
Mexico today began distributing tickets for the Oct. 13, 14 and 15 visit of the Dalai Lama, who will be coming to this country for the 4th time.
And what more appropriate welcome mat than a picture of His Holiness accompanied by a group of Mariachis?
[I might have to extend my visit a little to witness such a Tibetan-Tapatío fusion]
¡Ajúa!
I said this in 2008 and I’ll say it again: Hispanics are a resourceful bunch and have crafted a brilliant master plan to take over the U.S: It’s quite simple, come to think about it: Reproduce quickly and in large quantities.
In the latest installment of the Here’s How We Plan to Take Over the U.S. series, a Latino couple in Nebraska (Yes, I repeat, Nebraska) last week became the proud parents of quintuplets. Mara, Cristóbal, Ximena, Arleth and Roselyn -what else?- García came to this world in July as a five-fold bundle of joy.
¡Welcome pues, paisanos!
In an era dominated by iPods, iPads, iPhones, iTunes and iMacs… how else were you going to call your Mexico City-based budding courier service, offering speedy deliveries nationwide?
This is Mexican ingenuity at its best.
iCaramba!
Photo and h/t: Enrique Bustamante, Mexico City
And you thought Mexico’s only contribution to this glorious country were tacos, salsa and drug-related violence…
Starting mid-August a new line of El Chavo toys will be available at major U.S. retailers, including Toys R Us, Kmart, Walmart and -ahem, ahem- Target, the corporation behind this awesome Hispanic guide targeted to non-Hispanics who wish to understanding Hispanics.
I don’t know you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on a tiny plush version of La Popis or Doña Florinda, which I’m sure are all going to be Made-in-China, but isn’t everything Made-in-China these days?
[I’d take a Ñoño doll a hundred times over this other one]
In light of recent developments, (news that Target Corp.’s management gave bosses some very valuable information about Hispanics) this blogger decided to add a few items to an already stupid comprehensive list of how to go about Hispanic employees.
Target Corp.’s document, first published by Courthouse News Service, informed company managers that “Not all Hispanic employees eat tacos, dance to salsa or wear sombreros,” (ignore the above photograph for one second) or that Mexicans have lower education and “might be undocumented.” So far so good… But it missed some equally important, and worth-making points… So, let’s just get right to them, shall we?
1) Mexicans will always end a sentence with “ito” no matter how much they hate your guts and wish to kill you: i.e. “Con permisito;” “Por favorcito,” “Al ratito,” “Un momentito,” etc.
2) Argentines will go out of their way to convince you they are not Hispanic, which is OK because they really are not, and chances are they are not working at Target anyhow. They will always end up a sentence with “boludo.”
3) Cubans are not only political refuges and better educated –as your document accurately states. They are going to throw a fit every time they see the “other Latinos” wearing a Ché Guevara T-shirt or any other outfit reminiscent of the so-called Cuban revolution. More often than not, Cubans will side with the gringos; not with the Latin ‘chusma.’
4) Not all Mexicans are into tacos: Actually, most of us prefer tortas ahogadas, mondongo, pozole, pancita, machitos, moronga, criadillas, tlayudas, pambazos, etc. etc.
5) Puerto Ricans will probably pay zero attention to whatever you tell them: They are going to be busy listening to reggaetón and holding on to their pants.
6) No matter how hard you try, they (i.e. all Hispanics) just probably going to say “pinche gringo, ya no estés jodiendo” as soon as you turn your back to them. In your face, though, they will be super nice and just say: ¡Sí, señor, ahorita, ahorita lo hago! un momentito.
7) Ecuadoreans and Bolivians are very different but you should always treat them as if they were Peruvians just to piss them off.*
*Last addition by Alberto Ferreras
An ill-informed individual, presumably not Mexican (nor Indian) thought it would be an awesome idea to convey his/her thoughts on population control on a $1 bill… And, of course, of the millions of people who transact money on a daily basis in this wonderful city, I was the lucky one to get this as change in my neighborhood bodega.
The buck stops here.
Print is not dead. It will only be dead when somebody actually goes and shoot it to death.
Got it?
Hat tip: @tropicarlitos
For those of you who still think tacos look like this, there’s literary aid coming your way.
Mexican editor Déborah Holtz last night was in Manhattan, presenting La Tacopedia, the result of a five-year taco research documenting everything you’ll ever need to know about tacos: From their origin and their different species, to the brave men and women who make them. “We wanted to make a book that smelled of tacos,” said Holtz, whose book includes -what else?- the recipe for 36 delicious super salsas.
Unfortunately, La Tacopedia is currently available only in Spanish, but this blogger is one crafty freelancer and has decided to stalk Ms. Holtz until she gives me the green light to translate this jewel into English.
[Now, if she doesn’t give me the green light, at least she should provide me with some green salsa.]
It is no secret that international air travel is undergoing a severe financial crisis; with fuel costing a lot of money and all. But airline owners are a creative bunch and have found “innovative” ways to make additional cash, including charging us extra money to use the bathroom; to take an extra piece of luggage or to seat between rows 5 through 45.
But Mexican airline Aeroméxico has gone even further and is now using its aircrafts to pitch the latest installment of Iron Man, which by the way pulled almost $36 million since opening in Mexico less than two weeks ago.
So, I’m not sure what they are waiting for. Just change the company name to IronMéxico and get the whole thing over with.
Photo: @don_Marquito
Yes, there is a place called Santa María Pipioltepec in the State of Mexico. And yes, Mi blog es tu blog has a correspondent there.
Well, sort of.
How many Mexicans does it take to organize a Cinco de Mayo party in Wyandotte, Michigan? Apparently, zero. [I’m sure my people would have seriously objected to holding a May 5th celebration on May 4th.]
Too bad organizers didn’t consult with this blogger beforehand. I could have given them an awesome tagline for their event:
“Guayandóte: Esperándote desde el Cuatro para celebrar el Cinco”
¡Ajúa!
And you thought politicians were a bunch of good for nothings…
In the latest development concerning the Mexi-Muslim threat, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) is now saying that this week’s bombings of the Boston Marathon should give pause to immigration reform advocates who seek to reform the system. The reason?
“We know that people that are now being trained to come in and act like Hispanic [sic] when they are radical Islamists. […] They want the freedoms we have.”
I’m not sure what those freedoms really are or how you train people to act “Hispanic.” But these fellows have certainly worked hard to replicate our tacos al pastor. And no, we’re not going to take it anymore! What’s next? Serving food on a flat bread instead of a plate? Pitas that taste like tortillas?
hat tip: @laloalcaraz
The folks over at Mattel are so smart, that not only they have come up with a Mexican Barbie, but they have given her all the possible tools to go around the U.S. the world undisturbed.
In addition to a “wonderfully bright pink dress with ribbon accents,” Mexican Barbie comes fashionably ready for a fiesta with her Chihuahua friend (we all do.) But that is not all: According to Mattel, this beauty features accessories that “add play value,” including a passport and sticker sheet.
It is not for me to inform you about the “play value” that a passport provides, so go ahead! Play with your Barbie Mexicana and don’t even think of calling her indocumentada. Oh, and she can be yours for only $24.50 on Amazon.com
IMPORTANT UPDATE: This blogger has found a Mexican Ken to go with the Mexican Barbie. Here it is:
I love my people. Seriously. I do. Where else but in Mexico would a crowd gather to celebrate a pothole’s first year anniversary with balloons and birthday cake?
The celebration worked though, and as you can see, the local authorities quickly responded by covering the offending bache.
Well. Sort of.
I just woke up to the news that March 27 is National Paella Day in the U.S., yet another reminder of the weirdness of living in a country obsessed with bizarre celebrations and holidays.
But, as they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do, and so hereby I’m paying tribute to Spain’s national dish by sharing one of my favorite ads featuring a “paella de pollo.”
NOTE: I am sorry, but this piece can only be appreciated by those who master the Spanish language. Enjoy!
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 