Category: Stupid propositions

Tired of Boring Rosé? How about a Luchador Cabernet?

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ 1 Comment
I’m not sure about this

Still stuck at home with plenty of time to try novelty beverages? How about playing Lotería while you sip some local wine?

Using the tagline “This is not your abuela’s wine,” a California winery is peddling what seems to be a Lotería-themed set of wines, including a Luchador Cabernet Sauvignon and a La Diablita Red Blend. Most products use a catchy phrase, reminding us that –despite the pandemic– there are things that will never be cancelled, like playing with fire or… wearing a luchador mask.

I have no idea what they taste like and it seems to me it will not be easy to give them a try, as they’re apparently only available in Northern California. But I must say that when it comes to “Latin-themed wine,” I’m pretty skeptical… But who knows, perhaps any of you out there have tried it and care to comment?

Via: 55 Cartas on Facebook

Crayola Launches ‘Colors of the World Crayons,’ as if I Don’t Remember their First ‘Multicultural Crayons’

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment

Remember Crayola’s multicultural crayons? Well I do, because I wrote about them, like, what seems like centuries ago: Specifically, on May 20, 2014. Except at that time they were called “Multicultural Crayons” and didn’t really catch on…

Guess what? A full six years later, these babies are back, now under the “Colors of th World” brand.

Crayola’s “new” Colors of the World set features “hues representing over 40 global skin tones that authentically reflects the full spectrum of human complexions,” the company announced Thursday, May 21, 2029. The idea? “To advance inclusion within creativity,” says CEO Rich Wuerthele.

So, basically, as one of my Twitter followers said: “Rebrand, cuz racism be evergreen.”

Via: AP News

Is Duolingo not Helping your English Practice?

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment
When everything else fails…

Did you buy all the Inglés sin Barreras audiobooks or downloaded apps like Duolingo but nothing helps to improve your English skills?

Worry not! In this practical manual for the good use of the English language, the Lord himself comes to the rescue… and he even gives you some tips on how to pass the U.S. citizenship test. And it’s only $8.99!

Via: Amazon

Why Kmart Needs to Hire a Competent, Bilingual Copywriter

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ 2 Comments

Picture this. A two-piece comfy sofa; a soothing image of a lake and a small, deserted beach on the background; a pitcher of delicious ice-tea and then your lovely mom … sucking someone –or being sucked by someone– for some reason.

That is pretty much the takeaway for so many Spanish-speakers out there who could not help but notice the gaffe in Kmart’s latest Mother’s Day campaign. The problem here lies in the choice of the word Mamaste, which –apparently– is supposed to be a play on words between Mom & Namasté, inviting mothers to Find their happy place and relax on Mothers Day. But while Namasté might be a term well-known among the yoga community, Kmart would be well advised to consider what “Mamaste” actually means in Spanish.

OK, I get it. They don’t want to spend money on hiring pesky bilingual copywriters, but they could have just turned to Google Translate instead. I mean. It’s FREE! it’s easy; it’s right… there. How lazy are they?

Excuse-me?

And this is only the tip of the iceberg. As my friend J.C. Maya discovered, there’s even a book (on sale in Target) with the same title: Mamaste: Discover a More Authentic, Balance, and Joyful Motherhood from Within,

Now if y’all excuse me: HA HA HA HA HA HA (or as we say in good Spanish: JA JA JA JA)

Oh and did I mention these t-shirts?

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Cinco de Mayo in the Time of Coronavirus Is Just as Dumb as Regular Cinco de Mayo

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment
Shelter de Mayo? Shoot me I’m muerta

No access to the outside world? No problemo!

District Taco, a so-called taquería based in I-don’t-know-where-but-not-Mexico wants you to know that you can “take back your right to fiesta” by ordering the coronavirus-special sheltering in place combo: Delicioso steak fajitas, PLUS chips with your choice of two dips!

This, of course, is a promotion about this blogger’s favorite “Fake Mexican Fiesta” (FMF) aka Cinco de Mayo, which is just around the corner. ¡Ay!

Anyhow, hold onto your sombreros. The madness is about to begin!

Hat tip: Juan Escalante

 

If 2020 Was a Kitchen Gadget, it Would Be this ‘Taco Toaster’

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ 1 Comment
This thing promises ‘crunchy goodnes,’ but it’s giving me a heart attack instead.

Move over $30-dollar Taco Toaster, here comes a less expensive, even more outrageous contraption to make what Americans think is a taco. I give you the … $22-dollar Made in California Taco Toaster, a plastic/metal mold thingy to hold your “taco” in place while you put it in a toaster –for some reason.

Worse than looking at this thing is reading the description of what it is and what it promises:

Creating a well-executed taco is an artform: salty black beans with sweet onions, blistery red peppers and corn, spicy guacamole, cooling Cotija–and best of all–a crunchy shell you can pile all this goodness into. This petite gadget lets you make crispy taco shells at home in your toaster, without any of the added oil like the ones you’d find in the grocery store.

Now if y’all excuse myself, I’ll go get drunk.

Via: Uncommon Goods

A ‘Latin-Style Fiesta Pet-Parade’ Is Just What 2020 Was Missing

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment
“OK, I’ll pose, but please don’t put me inside the piñata.”

What would you do to raise funds to help cute little furry friends in these times of crisis? Well, how about hosting a “Latin-style” pet parade and livestream it to the millions of suckers stuck at home trying to avoid getting coronavirus?

That is exactly what the San Antonio Humane Society will be doing on May 2. At approximately 3 p.m. local time, the society will livestream its annual Fiesta fundraising event, which helps raise funds to support local shelters, adoption and care programs in the area.

According to the local press, those who log on for the virtual fun can expect to enjoy a parade of “furry friends modeling sombreros and posing beside papier maché margaritas,” because apparently that’s what pets in San Antonio do.

I’m not sure the below canine looks particularly happy at the prospect of drinking a paper margarita, but then again, I’m not a pet person, so who knows?

“Make it quick, Jen, I feel totally ridiculous.”

Hat tip: Melissa Salas Blair; photos via: San Antonio Express News

We Must Stop Cauliflower Tortillas Before it’s Too Late

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ 1 Comment

As if I didn’t have enough bad news these days, someone just mentioned Cauliflower, a Los Angeles-based company determined to “reinvent our favorite foods” with healthier options, including cauliflower rice, cauliflower chips and cauliflower pizza dough.

While I couldn’t care less about what they do to rice and pizza, they’re now proudly peddling the ¡Viva Cauliflower Tortilla! apparently because people really really needed a grain-free, cauliflower tortilla to wrap God knows what in them.

“Caulipower’s mission is to listen to what people want,” Gail Becker, founder and CEO of Caulipower, told Baking Business. “Like pizza, tortillas are beloved, versatile and a natural fit for us to create a better-for-you option.”

Listen, Gail, I’m sure you’re all healthy and all that, but who are you to say this is a better-for-me option? Last time I checked, my better-for-me-option was a deliciously greasy set of carnitas wrapped in –what else?– a double corn tortilla.

Besides, if you really really want a healthy meal, just go squash some cauliflower and roll things inside it, but don’t call these things tortillas if you don’t want me to throw a fit.

Thank you very much for your cooperation.

Photo via: Caulipower

It’s the Census 2020 – and I Still Don’t Know What Race I Am 🤷🏻‍♀️

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ 5 Comments

 

My U.S. Census 2020 questionnaire is here and while I’m all game and ready to fill out and submit this thing, I will forever be puzzled by the “race” question.

See, when you reach the the “race question” while filling out the 2020 U.S. Census, you’ll get options within five racial categories (see photo below:)

  • White
  • Black or African-American
  • American Indian or Alaska Native
  • Asian
  • Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander.

This, of course, leaves this café con leche, whitish Mexican blogger born in Mexico practically in limbo, since I’m supposed to select “white” or “some other race” to comply and be able to go to the next window. (And I’m not alone: Remember this Puerto Rican dude during the 2010 Census who was pissed (with reason) and refused to fill out his Census form, because “Hispanic” was not an option under the Race box?)

Also missing in this section are people from the Middle East and North Africa, which I suppose are supposed to do the same: Select “white” or “some other race,” which I think will make it harder to locate where there is need for local bilingual services in schools or during elections, to name a few things.

I’m personally offended because “Human” is not an option under race, so I decided to use the “Some other race –print race” space to spell out N.P.I. (Ni Pinche Idea.)

Hispanics and people from the Middle East or North Africa, back in limbo…

Bagel Shop Launches ‘Bagelrito,’ Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment

Starting Thursday, Feb. 27 and until the deadly coronavirus takes us all (hopefully soon) Einstein Bros. Bagels will start selling the Bagelrito, a “big, bold, and easy to hold” bagel/burrito mash-up that looks as disgusting as it sounds.

The company claims this thing was a smashing success in Denver, CO test markets –for some reason, but this blogger is looking forward to never having to see this thing ever again. Ever.

Amy Klobuchar Says her Spanish Name Used to be Elena; Hilarity Ensues

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment
During a meeting with a mostly Hispanic crowd, Amy Klobuchar reminded us her Spanish name used to be Elena –for some reason.

During a meeting Tuesday night with Culinary Union members in Las Vegas, Sen. Amy Klobuchar tried to relate to a mostly Hispanic crowd by talking about her fourth-grade Spanish and other Spanish-related anecdotes. According to various reports, Klobuchar kicked off her presentation by saying: “My name is Amy, but when I was in fourth grade Spanish they gave me the name Elena.”

I decided to tweet out a video of the exchage using the hashtag #MyKlobucharEthnicName and what followed was a hilarious thread of people sharing their “ethnic name.” Purely for this blogger’s entertainment (I hope).

WATCH the original video (below) and then scroll down for some hilarious responses:

Hispanics at Starbucks

Shut up, Alicia!

Chomp, chomp!

Lalo is Klobuspeak for AMLO

EMLO, anyone?

JUST FOLLOW #MyKlobucharEthnicName for more entertainment…

This is the Only Dip you Need for your Super Bowl Party

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment

Guacamole, which according to “avocado experts” at Wholly Guacamole was “invented by the Aztecs for its nutritional benefits for the wealthy,” can now be used to prepare a deliciously patriotic Mexican flag tricolor dip, a culinary work of art you will never encounter in Mexico (mainly because it looks like a hell of a lot of work for a real Mexican.)

But I digress. The point is: The Super Bowl LVI is tonight and any excuse to fool around with Mexican food –and the Mexican flag– is a good one. Besides… it features an eagle… and eagle, babies!

Wink, Wink…

Taco Mahal Is Coming to New York City, and I’m not Ready for Gandhi-Zapata

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment
Gandhi Zapata wants you to have a Roti Taco, because –really?!

Sources closer to Hell’s Kitchen than me (at least right now) tell me there’s a new, hipster-conceived Mexican-Indian restaurant coming my way.

Called –what else?– Taco Mahal, this fusion eatery promises a “new concept in the realm of delicious tacos” where “the best spices of India collide with the best flavors of Latino America [SIC.]”

I have no idea what any of the above means, but Taco Mahal has been plastering the city with artful collages of Frida-meets-Rigveda / Parvati-Meets-Kahlo. Also, according to a menu posted online, you’ll be able to order stuff such as Roti Tacos or Naan Tacos, which sound just as weird as the below deities blended together.

It’s Indian, you know? but with a taco twist.

Thank God there’s also beer & wine available to wash this thing down; otherwise…

Hat tip: @lechancle

Avocados From Mexico Releases Super Bowl LVI Commercial. It’s as Bad as Anything ‘Avo’ in America

~ Mi Blog es tu Blog ~ Leave a comment
Yeah, because we all carry our avocados like babies, right?

Yeah, it’s already that time of the year when –not content with punishing this blogger with frigid temperatures –and plenty of avocado-hipster nonsense– corporate America starts releasing their Super Bowl teaser commercials.

Enter the 2020 Avocados From Mexico’s Super Bowl spot, featuring a fictitious shopping network for people who love avocados.

The spot, created by Energy BBDO, also features quick snippets of avocado-themed products, including a baby carrier to hold a baby avocado (yup); an avocado pool float shaped like a tortilla chip and a helmet for an avocado out for a ride.

I’m dizzy now. Just WATCH (or maybe not)