One more irresistible promotion at my local barber shop. Who said there are no good deals left in the city?
Are You a Latino Travelling to Arizona? Don’t Forget to Fake a Foreign Accent Syndrome
If you belong to the ‘brown’ race and plan to travel to Arizona in the near future, make sure to fake a Foreign Accent Syndrome (FAS) a rare, but not uncommon condition that will make you sound as if you are from some exotic land, namely Ireland, Wales or as I like to call it, ABLA (Anywhere But Latin America.)
Please watch and pay attention! Don’t you let the 1070 bill catch you unawares! Vodpod videos no longer available.
more about "Foreign accent syndrome", posted with vodpod
Come Retire in Mexico! No Spanish Required
Despite all the bad news you’ve been reading lately about Mexico, there are places that just continue to attract large groups of Americans. And no, we’re not talking spring-breakers in Cancún.
According to Veteran’s Today (this blogger’s daily source of fresh news), Lake Chapala has become the number one retirement destination for U.S. veterans, partly because of its near perfect weather and low cost of living, but mostly -I suspect- because as the article states, “You can get by without Spanish.”
Which is, like, great, because if you didn’t need to learn any other language throughout your live, why start now?
Other advantages cited include -but are not limited to- “high quality health care, and pharmacies, with many bilingual professionals trained in the U.S. or Canada.”
[If none of this sounds attractive enough, think about it this way: wouldn’t you just love to hang out with your retired buddies while some local woman dances and prances around in a colorful dress and wearing a gigantic hat?]
Mexico City’s School Teacher Makes Michelle Dance… and This Blogger Apologize
I said earlier that Michelle Obama’s visit to Mexico City was going to me a very “bloggable” event but I wasn’t expecting this.
So before you watch, please allow me to formally apologize for my county’s elementary school teachers. Not all are like this. Or at least, they were not like this when I was growing up. I promise.
Michelle Arrives in Mexico… Alone and Purseless
I don’t know what they have been telling Michelle Obama about crime in my country… but she was spotted arriving in Mexico City not only sans husband, but also sans purse…. cellphone, keys, credit cards… ¡nada!
Way to go, Mrs. Obama, better safe than sorry.
Good Lord! Procter & Gamble Preps ‘Pedro & María,’ a Hispanic Version of ‘Romeo & Juliet’
And just when you thought Hispanic television couldn’t get any more entertaining [read it with irony, please] former NBC exec Ben Silverman is ready to give us a new telenovela (both in English and Spanish) to be called Pedro & María, and billed as “modern-day version of Romeo & Juliet.”
The show will be brought to you by Procter & Gamble (which the press continues to call “Proctor & Gamble“) and “will give its audience the ability to vote on the direction the characters and story lines take.”
So, without further ado, here’s my vote: Have Pedro and María take a swig of poison during the first episode and spare us the whole thing. Will you?
As for “Hispanic” adaptations of Romeo & Juliet, this blogger will stick to her favorite one, the one and only, brought to you by Mario Moreno Reyes himself.
Michelle Obama Goes to Mexico. Hosts Would be Well Advised to Work on their Wardrobe
This blogger Everybody is super excited about Michelle Obama’s first solo trip to Mexico this week, where she is expected to spend three days “meeting children, tour the anthropology museum and dine at Los Pinos, the president’s residence.”
The American press is so thrilled about the whole thing, that a journalist couldn’t help but make a comparison with another stylish, sophisticated, impeccably-dressed American first lady:
Almost 50 years ago, a first lady seized Mexico City‘s heart: the beautiful, chic, multilingual Jackie Kennedy, to whom Michelle Obama draws comparisons.
If this is the case, I can only hope our presidential couple will spend some time working on their wardrobe. This blogger will be scrutinizing the menu -and fashion- during such memorable (and bloggable) event.
Stay tuned!
OMG! Gigantic UFO Hovers Above Bellas Artes
Warner Channel Latin America has reportedly scared the living hell out of many chilangos with this promo pitching new series “V”. Watch as a gigantic UFO hovers above Palacio de Bellas Artes.
via Briefblog
Texas School Urges Children to Study and Be ‘Seasoned’ Like a Beef Fajita
When it comes to our children education, no efforts should be spared… even if you live in Texas, whose Board of Education this month decided to re-write History.
That is why Crockett Elementary School in Dallas hosted a school assembly and invited motivational speaker Fabian Ramirez to encourage students to do their best on the upcoming Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) test. Speaking to 200 kids that are scheduled to take the test in April, Ramírez went straight to the point:
“You have to be seasoned before you get grilled,” he said while holding 2 pounds of seasoned beef fajitas in the air before laying a portion over an electric grill. “Seasoned students are well done after they have been grilled.”
While this blogger greatly appreciates the metaphor, I think Mr. Ramírez should have added that failing the TAKS would turn these children into a bunch of burritos.
Mexican Archbishop to Replace Mahony at L.A. Archdiocese. I Can’t Tell Which is Which
This looks like something out of the Twilight Zone. Turns out Cardinal Roger Mahony is retiring from the archdiocese of Los Angeles, and will be replaced by some guy from Monterrey, Mexico who looks very much like him.
Given the current state of affairs at the Catholic Church, it wouldn’t surprise me if this “new guy” is only a make believe, wax-made Mahony impersonator; someone who will take the punches next time something goes wrong. That way, as is often the case, you can always blame it on “The Mexican.”
¡Ay, nanita!
Photo: Los Angeles Times
Photo: Getty Images, via WSJ
Top 10 Factors That Will Make Your Company Attractive to Latinos
As some of you must know, Diversity Inc. this week released its Top Ten Companies for Latinos, which lists the firms that “create an inclusive place for Latino workers” and the factors that make a corporation attractive to a Latino workforce.
Not to be outdone, a friend who wishes to remain anonymous, sent this blogger his own Top Ten list, which I honestly think it’s sooooo much better. Here it is:
1. They serve café cubano, arroz con gandules and real tacos in the company cafeteria.
2. The CEO speaks more Spanish than Telemundo’s Don Browne or Univision’s Joe Uva.
3. The human resource director’s office has a sign on the door that reads, “No green card? No problem.”
4. They play Latin music in the elevators
5. There are special rooms where employees can take a siesta
6. Extra large parking spaces to accommodate employee trocas
7. Company-sanctioned fifteen-minute bochinche break every day
8. The company plans to shut down during important World Cup matches this summer
9. The employee benefits package includes free consultations with an immigration lawyer
10. The lobby and waiting areas are well-stocked with copies of TVyNotas
Do you have any other that would make your office life less miserable more fun?
Dennis Haysbert Now Speaks ‘Español’
Who said only Cristina or Don Francisco could endorse your product en español?
Dennis Haysbert, whose baritone voice has assured us like, forever, that with Allstate we are in “Good Hands,” now wants you to to know that with Allstate you are en “Buenas manos.” Haysbert this month made his Spanish-language debut in a series of television commercials now airing on most Hispanic networks.
Longoria Reveals Yet Another Artistic Quality
Not content with having achieved a successful career as a television star, restaurateur, philanthropist and museum buff, my favorite retro-acculturated Latina, Eva Longoria, is ready to make a splash in the world of documentary filmmaking.
As an official Pepsi spokesperson, Longoria is set to direct and produce an intriguing documentary about Hispanics and how our experiences “have helped shape the American landscape,” which I think has nothing to do with landscaping, but you never know.
Eva’s documentary is part of a bigger effort, inexplicably called “Yo Sumo” and launched by Pepsi to show how U.S. Hispanics count, contamos or -as the company will have you believe- sumamos.
I personally want to sumar my voice and congratulate Mrs. Longoria Parker on her new venture, although I fear it might interfere with her role as an active member of the CSPCNMAL. Only time will tell.
Dobbs Promises Ramos the Exclusive About His Political Future [Well, After Telling Wife]
This past weekend, I was invited as a guest to Univision’s political weekly show Al Punto, hosted by veteran anchor Jorge Ramos. Little did I know I would end up sharing the hour-long program with one of Hispanics’ Bête noir, the one and only Lou Dobbs, who took the opportunity to promise the popular anchor the exclusive story about his political future [should there be any.]
Click here or on the photo [above] to watch the video:
Don Francisco Wants You to Eat “Italian” Food
Ah…. marketing minds never stop working!
In the latest effort to tap into Hispanics’ fat wallets -and even fatter selves– restaurant chain Olive Garden is sending Univision’s Don Francisco to Tuscany, because it’s there -and not on the Food Network- where the company trains its chefs. According to Advertising Age:
The legendary TV host will visit Olive Garden’s Culinary Institute in Tuscany in a segment airing this Saturday night on Sábado Gigante. He accompanies Margarita Ibarra, the young chef who won Olive Garden’s “Cocinando un Sueño” (“Cooking a Dream”) contest.
But wait! Olive Garden’s Hispanic effort doesn’t stop there. The company is proud to tell us that all its 600 restaurants have menus in Spanish, which is, like, great, because Hispanics might not know Lasagna is Lasaña and Pasta Primavera is, well, Pasta Primavera.
That’s it. I’m getting hungry, so I’m off to my nearest Olive Garden to get a taste of Don Francisco-endorsed food and pretend I never heard about Dr. Manny.
