No, Australia, We Don’t Want your Hideous Pineapple Burrito

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Turns out June 27 is World Pineapple Day (for some reason) so Australian fast-food chain Mad Mex decided to release its first pineapple burrito, a “limited edition” thing that –thank God– will be available only in Australia.

In an unnecessarily long news article, Mad Mex CEO Clovis Young said “he was prepared for the public backlash,” but wanted to help answer the question of whether pineapple should be a staple in Mexican food.

OK, Mr. Clovis Young, here’s your answer. Yes, we’ll allow some pineapple (maybe) in a VERY GOOD set of tacos al pastor made in Mexico, by real Mexican taqueros. So no, it shouldn’t be a part of that hideous thing you dare call a “Mexican staple food.”

You are welcome.

 

Carolina Herrera Vows to Make Sarapes Great Again!

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Sarapewear

Move over Michael Kors’ jerga fashion, the next big thing in Mexican-inspired fashion comes courtesy of Carolina Herrera, who is launching her “unique” Mexico-inspired collection.

According to Atlanta-born Wes Gordon, creative director of the Carolina Herrera brand, the 2020 Mexico collection draws its inspiration from the traditional “sarape, embroidered flowers and the cempasúchitl flower to bring to life one of the most vibrant –and visually rich– Carolina Herrera collections.” TRANSLATION: It’s basically another case of ripping off the traditional embroidery and designs of local indigenous peoples.

Please note that the models are NOT inspired on the looks of said indigenous peoples… 

Mexico-Inspired…

Inspiration?

Photo via Vogue México

Mexican Official Eats Peanuts During Washington Meeting; Hilarity Ensues

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U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi this week met with Mexican Foreign Minister Marcelo Ebrard and other Mexican envoys to discuss a proposal by President Trump to impose 5% tariffs on all Mexican goods. But the urgency –and gravity– of the matter did not stop one of Ebrard’s spokespeople to enjoy a few peanuts, on a napkin, while at the negotiating table.

By Wednesday morning, a photo of Roberto Velasco Álvarez, spokesperson of the Mexican Foreign Ministry (SRE) quickly went viral by Mexican Twitter using the hashtag #LordCacahuates (Lord Peanuts,) following a Mexican Twitter tradition of calling Lords and Ladies doing “weird stuff.”

Here are some of the best memes I could find on Wednesday morning…

Vampipe, siempre Vampipe

Tacos, anyone?

Now, that’s better

Su Boing y su pizza

They were not even the good ones

Leave this guy eat alone

 

Bill de Blassio Has no Idea What Condón Means in Spanish

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Ever since he announced he’s running for president in 2020, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has been using a very special hashtag in the hopes it will go viral. Nothing wrong with tapping on the power of social media to get traction, except that the hashtag in question is –wait for it– #ConDon.

Not only he has posed alongside supporters holding a #ConDon sign, but he’s even sending out very special mailers (below) asking Americans to contribute and support his campaign. Apparently, De Blasio’s #ConDon thing has something to do with Donald Trump, but I will never know because every time I read #ConDon, I cannot help but think about these things.

One thing, though, Mr. De Blasio: If you’re going to advocate for people wearing preservatives… use an accent over the “o” will ya?

Photo via: Juan Manuel Benitez

Brace Yourselves: The Gentrification of Veladoras Is Here

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Prayer candles, better known among my people (i.e. The Hispanics) as veladoras, are making a splash among the avocado-loving millennial, non-Latin, non-religious crowd pushing their prices so high that you will wanna start praying for a raise.

According to this Vox.com article, a prayer candle featuring the likes of Elizabeth Warren, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Jonathan Van Ness (because they all kind of are in the same  business) can cost up to $12, compared to a regular prayer candle, which you’ll find pretty much anywhere in the USA for $2 –or for very few pesitos in any Latin American street market.

University professors and religious studies experts claim this is yet another sign of the decline of religious affiliation of Americans and some even go as far as to call these colorful candles “blasphemous” and a “direct threat to the Catholic faith.”

I don’t know much about that, but consider yourselves warned: The gentrification of veladoras is here to stay.

Via: Vox.com

Tequila Cazadores Wants me to Put a ‘Summer of Tacos Calendar’ on my Desk –for Some Reason

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Marketing professionals are one creative bunch.

Not content with bringing to market some awesome, creative and stupid products (i.e. the avocado toast sneakers or the Throw Throw Burrito Game) they have now conceived another innovative thing…

I give you… the Summer of Tacos daily desk calendar, a thing that promises to have me dreaming of tacos every day of the week.

The idea, writes some marketing person apparently with a straight face, is “to celebrate the unofficial start of summer and its most notorious pairing, tacos and tequila.”

These calendars –which are being pitched as a must-have desk accessory– feature word puzzles, cocktail recipes and “taco facts to impress colleagues with at the water cooler.”

Listen, people, I dream of tacos every day and no, I don’t need your must-have desk accesory. *inserts eye roll emoji*

Americans are Putting Avocado on a Stick and I’m Screaming

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Was this really necessary?

The short answer is no, but it seems like Americans in general –and millennials in particular– continue to find ways to ruin everything.

According to an unnecessarily long article, this thing was conceived by some dude in Vermont to help his fellow Americans, who continue to suffer from Avocado Hand, a potentially devastating malaise affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado.

“They warn that putting avocado on a slice of bread is complicated and implies a danger, because in the United States some people have been injured trying to split an avocado, so they say that, with this presentation, enjoy the ‘green gold’ is simple and delicious.”

Oh, and don’t get me started on the plastic…

Via: Milenio

Alexa Will Soon Speak Spanish –and it’s about Time!

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According to numerous reports, Amazon is asking customers to participate in a program that will help the company build “a Spanish-language Alexa experience” for U.S. users. The program, which is currently invite-only, “will allow Amazon to incorporate into the U.S. Spanish-language experience a better understanding of things like word choice and local humor.”

This couldn’t come soon enough because last time we checked, Alexa was doing *this*…

Via: CNET.com

La Reina del Sur Is Back –and She’s One Badass Mexican

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Eight years after the debut of La Reina del Sur, Kate del Castillo (Teresa Mendoza) is back as a badass mexicana as La Reina del Sur Season 2 premieres April 22 on Telemundo.

La Reina del Sur Season 2 is set eight years after Mendoza disappeared into the U.S. Federal Witness Protection Program for bringing down a Mexican presidential candidate. Now, she is coming out of anonymity and is determined to reclaim her throne as the Queen of the South –while whacking a few bad hombres in the process.

The controversial Del Castillo became world famous not precisely because of La Reina del Sur but because of her secret meeting with Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman Loera and the now infamous Sean Penn journalistic brouhaha.

WATCH as this Mexican sorts out all kinds of shit in order to get ahead of her game.