I Never Thought of Buying a Home in Texas, but…

 

Texas realtor Nicole Lopez has found an innovative way to entice customers to buying a property: To offer hundreds of dollars worth of tacos upon purchasing of a home.

Per the local press, the above property is located in the Houston metro area and it’s listed at $170,000, which makes it extremely appealing to this blogger, though with one caveat: Can I pass on the house and just get the free tacos instead?

Hat tip: @ConAudifonos

My Blog Just Turned 11 Years, and I Can’t Believe it’s still around. So… ¡Gracias!

It was exactly eleven years ago when, after losing my dream job and feeling a bit disoriented as to what to do next, I decided to start a blog.

It was originally called Mi casa es tu casa, but it quickly morphed into Mi blog es tu blog (¡Gracias, Carlitos!) and 11 years later (yes ELEVEN) and despite the advent of Twitter, Reddit, Snapchat, Facebook et al, it’s still alive and kicking. Well, sort of.

Looking back at my very first post, it is clear I had no idea what I wanted to do with with this space, but I did know that documenting the silliness of what marketers and media “experts” call the U.S. Hispanic market could be a fun adventure, especially if it were to be done with a sense of humor.

And, boy, was I right!

From hundreds of ridiculous television commercials (like that Tostitos one using a sevillana to peddle salsa, or that of a 36o-degree action camera that will help you spot a mariachi sneaking through the U.S. border) to those ubiquitous ethnic Halloween costumes and Hispanic paraphernalia, I’m sure I’ve made some of you spit your morning coffee more than once.

And that is why it’s interesting that this blog’s most popular post ever (in terms of both clicks and reader comments), was one that was barely a paragraph long; didn’t really say much and was not really funny, funny: It was an image of an Absolut Vodka print advertisement I saw in a magazine at the Mexico City hospital where I was — hopelessly — watching my mother die of lung cancer. The image made me smile (something I had not been able to do for several weeks, after learning my mother’s Stage IV cancer was incurable) mostly because I was positive it would never run in a U.S. publication. It showed a colorful map depicting what the Americas might look like in an “Absolut”  (i.e. perfect) world: The U.S.-Mexico border lies where it was before the Mexican-American War of 1848.

I ripped the page carefully, trying to not wake my mother and put it in my purse so I could write something about it later, in my blog, you know?

That plan was all but forgotten as my mom passed away on the morning of March 20, leaving me in a profound pain. (The story of how that apparently innocent ad crossed the Mexico border and made a ruckus in the U.S. was later published in Advertising Age, where I later became a regular blogger as well, and you can read it here.)

Anyhow, I mention all of this, because blogging has been a very important part of my life this past decade. It is true that I’m not exactly blogging every single day and that the new social media channels have made the very survival of bloggers really tough.

However, some of my writings here have taken me to very exciting places, including authoring my first book*, becoming a regular contributor to magazines, radio and TV shows and — of course — raising the ire of countless non-Mexicans who throughout the years have asked me — repeatedly — to go-back-to-where-I-came-from.

Eleven years later, I plan to continue using this space to vent and muse about “Hispanic Stuff” (whatever that means.) But be warned: Given the current political climate, I might also use it to try to give a voice to many who might feel threatened, scared and unwelcome in these dark times. I might not be the voice of reason, nor the most influential blogger out there, but I can yell pretty loudly –and I know how to wield my Mexican power charm when needed.

So here’s to another eleven years of this, my blog, your blog…

* OK, OK, the only one.

Mexicans Are Furious about Hat-Wearing Jalapeños from Turkey

These babies are Mexican, say Mexicans

Add jalapeños to the long list of grievances against my people (i.e. The Mexicans.)

In the latest episode of a trade war brewing between Mexico and the European Union, Mexican producers of chile peppers are asking the UE for protection of fresh jalapeño chiles –and those that undergo smoking (ie. delicious chipotles.)

The problem?

Chiles from Turkey are sold in Europe with a label showing a jalapeño pepper wearing a Mexican hat, said Jesús Murillo González, but do not state the country of origin. “They’re not saying it’s from here, but they’re riding the coattails of Mexico’s prestige.”

Hey, I’m totally cool with countries riding the coattails of Mexico’s prestige but… putting a sombrero over a jalapeño?! That’s simply unacceptable –and an insult to our 1986 beloved FIFA mascot

Via: Milenio

Now You Can Get High on Tamales, Because California

Marijuana-infused tamales, anyone?
Marijuana-infused tamales, anyone?

Have you ever had a delicious meat-filled, spicy tamal but thought: ‘Heck, this is is missing something?’

Worry no more: Señorita Sensi, a San Diego-based maker of Mexican edibles, has you covered.

As founder Yvanne Castañeda, a legitimate marijuana medical patient, told the local press:

“I wanted to focus on my culture […] so, I came up with medicated elotes, tamales, quesadillas, agua de limón, sopas, menudo, albóndigas. [Our Mexican food] is as authentic as it gets in the nation.”

And to think I have been avoiding California for decades…

Come on, you know you want to go follow them on Instagram.senoritasensis
Via: Merryjane.com

Mayor of Ixhuatlancillo, Veracruz, Erects Monument to Avengers –Because Mexico

The Mayor of Ixhuatlancillo is a huge fan of ‘The Avengers,’ apparently.

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Turns out the Mayor of the mostly indigenous town of Ixhuatlancillo, Veracruz, has spent several thousands of pesitos to build –and erect– several statues honoring members of The Avengers and The Justice League.

It should be noted that the town doesn’t even have a movie theatre and (I’m pretty sure) there are more urgent stuff to take care of. But, who the hell cares? When it comes to surreal politics, MEXICO IS THE SHIT!

Via: Sopitas

Speaking of Israel –and Bizarre Propositions…

Delfín Hasta el Fin, Wendy Sulca and La Tigresa de Oriente want you to go dance in Israel.

With president Donald Trump’s “bold, historic decision” to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, this blogger could not help but reminisce over that other bold, historic –and truly bizarre– move made by three of Latin America’s tackiest stars to help praise Israel as an awesome tourist destination, and not a place one should be afraid of because of the killings and all.

En tus tierras bailaré (In Your Land I Will Dance) features Andean superstars La Tigresa del Oriente, Wendy Sulca and Delfín Hasta el Fin, and while it was released in 2010, it continues to gain popularity. At the time of this writing, the video had gone way over the 4.6 million views on YouTube.

I’m not sure how these three got together to help promote tourism in Israel, but I must admit the chorus is quite catchy.

How pretty Israel is!
Israel, Israel
In your lands one day I’ll dance.

On her solo, Wendy Sulca praises Tel Aviv as a camel (yes, a camel) walks past her band while she sings: In Tel Aviv, I will love you, I will love you very much…

Yup, that’s a camel back there.

Just WATCH and behold the Andean costumes, the changing landscapes and the ebullient dancing in this, the campiest music video you’ll ever see.

For more insights to the above video, and background of these Andean artists, read Alma Guillermoprieto’s wonderful take here.

Move Over, America; the Mexican Flag Is on its Way to the Moon… No, Really

¡Y retiemble en sus centros la Luna….!

If a group of Mexican scientists have their way, we will be seeing the Mexican flag on the surface of the Moon very, very soon.

No, really.

According to a very reliable source I’ve never heard of, a group of scientists from Mexico’s National Autonomous University (UNAM) is working on deploying eight small robots that will eventually set foot on the surface of the Moon as soon as 2019. Once there, they say, they will do the most obvious thing one does when getting there: PLANT A FREAKING FLAG!

But that will only be the beginning, I’m told. Sources close to the project assure me the next phase will be even more exciting: A taquería!

¡Ajúa!

Via: México.mx

Taco Bell is Testing a Burrito Loaded with French Fries

The California Loaded Fries Burrito in all its awful glory.

If you freaked out when you read the news about Taco Bell’s chocolate-flavored pubic lice, you’ll definitely want to hear about the chain’s next outrageous proposition:

Introducing The California Loaded Fries Burrito, a burrito stuffed with –yes, you guessed it!–  french fries and other things, including ground “beef” as the protein of choice, nacho cheese and sour cream.

According to multiple sources, these abominations cost $1.99 apiece and –thankfully– can only be found as a test item at locations in Charleston, West Virginia.

I’m so sorry for you, West Virginians. We’ll keep you in my prayers.

Via: Foodbeast

Florida Pharmacy Sells ‘Hispanic Drugs,’ Because Florida

Drogas hispánicas
Image via @LourdesBFdz on Twitter

This image, which has been doing the rounds on the Internet, couldn’t find a better home than this blog, which has dutifully documented the birth of Hispanic cheese; the deliciously weird tortilla-flavored chocolates; the Mexican Coca-Cola and even a Hispanic lettuce to go with your Hispanic tuna and your Hispanic mayonnaise.

I have several questions about this display, including: Where is the uña de gato?; shouldn’t the sign read “Hispanic drugs” as in several (not one) drugs… Shouldn’t it be “Drogas hispanas” and not “hispánicas”… Oh… and can the creator of this display come forward? I’d like to thank him/her personally.

Thank you for your cooperation.