New York City’s New School Chancellor Is a Professional Mariachi. No, Really.

If everything else fails, Richard Carranza can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!

From the Archives of I Could Not Make This Thing Up if I Tried comes Richard Carranza, the recently appointed New York City Schools Chancellor, who took a very unsual approach when discussing his new job with Mr. De Blasio and wife: He serenaded them with mariachi song María Elena.

His background is plain awesome. Per the [failing] New York Times:

At Monday’s news conference, Mr. Carranza said he had been a mariachi musician since he was about 6 years old. When he wanted to stay up late with his father and his uncles, they said the only people staying up late were people playing instruments — so he learned to play the guitar. He later worked his way through college at the University of Arizona “gigging,” as he put it on Monday.

Now you know. If running our disastrous public school system turns out to be too much for this fellow Mexican, he can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!

Just WATCH:

Via: New York Times

How to Turn a Chinese Restaurant into a Mexican One in Two Simple Steps

Why throw away a perfectly nice painting when you can turn your pandas into Mexican pandas?

Need to turn a Chinese restaurant into a Mexican one?

EASY! Just add some sombreros –and trenzas– to the pandas on your wall paintings, and… boom! You got yourself a Mexican-themed establishment!*

That is exactly what the owners of El Sol Restaurant in Harrisonburg Virginia did –making this already the best thing this blogger has encountered in 2018.

P.S. Did you notice the cacti growing and red chili sprouting from the trees? 🌶

Via: Reddit. Hat tip @ConAudifonos

Google Doodle Celebrates García Márquez, the amazing Writer from Colombia, NOT Columbia

On what would have been his 91st birthday, Google is celebrating Colombian Nobel Prize winner and awesome person Gabriel García Márquez, Gabo, as the man once called the greatest Colombian who ever lived was affectionately known.

As this blogger joins the celebration, she is also kindly reminding non-Colombian people (i.e. gringos) of one very important piece of information: #ItsColombiaNotColumbia.

… Oh, and the dude in the aforementioned doodle *is* Gabo, despite the uncanny resemblance to this other colombian.

Via: CNET en Español

This Restaurant in Des Moines Lets you Make your Own Burrito, Because Des Moines

I don’t know who did this, but they shouldn’t be making their own food.

It’s too bad Cosmo Kramer never fulfilled his idea of a cook-your-own-pizza-pie pizzeria. But you can thank Jaime Herrera, of Des Moines, for Happy Burrito, an “innovative” Mexican restaurant where you can build your own burritos. Yes, because really, how hard can this be? Plus, you are in Des Moines, so there’s probably not a whole lot to do there anyway.

But I digress. The point is that this thing is now open and surely pleasing the denizens of Des Moines (even though some of them have absolutely no idea of how to prepare anything.)

Via: Des Moines Register

Darth Vader, Stormtroopers Help the Mexican Government Raise Awareness of HIV, Because Mexico

May the Force (of Campeche’s Healthcare Professionals) Be With You!

Campeche is not only one of my favorite Mexican states; it is also the force behind a deliciously bizarre government advertising campaign to help raise awareness of HIV and AIDS.

Using the slogan HIV doesn’t kill; discrimination does, the government of Campeche has tapped none other than Darth Vader and a stormtrooper to help raise awareness of the virus, and urge citizens to attend the Capasits (a chain of ambulatory, educational centers to help people understand HIV and learn tips on prevention and other issues.)

Because, honestly… What else can be more impactful than the good ol’ Star Wars folks telling you to take care of yourself?

Just WATCH.

Via: Publimetro

Having Ran Out of Ideas, Televisa Preps ‘Like,’ a ‘Multiplatform’ Telenovela for the Modern Masses

‘Like’ is a sequel to the super popular teen telenovela ‘Rebelde’

In an effort to lure the elusive teen audience, Mexico’s Grupo Televisa is working to bring us Like (Yes, Like as in “me gusta”) a teen telenovela that promises to “forever revolutionize” the novela genre.

And what kind of a revolution are we talking about here exactly?

“The goal is to introduce Internet and connectivity into the realm of telenovelas,” said producer Pedro Damián in an interview with Mexican television, explaining that –unlike your regular telenovela, Like is going to be a “multiplatform” one, because it will not only take place on TV, but on Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook and all that jazz.

But if none of the above is revolutionary enough for you, keep in mind this thing will take place in a “multiethnic school,” and feature kids from, like, a lot of countries and continents, that speak many languages, and… blah, blah, blah…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Via: Teleprograma

Mexicans Poke Fun at Nike’s New Sportswear, Because… Really, Nike? 🙄

Can you spot the differences?

Nike’s new sports outfit is causing a stir in Mexico, because anyone who grew up down there would know it looks exactly like the uniform worn by kids in the country’s technical public high-schools.

Nike’s outfit consists of two pieces, a brown jacket with dark brown touches and matching jogging trousers, which are being sold for about $70 U.S. dollars (a pretty steep price for your average Mexican, if you asked me.)

All of that to look like… THIS?

Miami Baker Concocts Cake Featuring Fried Ham Croquetas –Because Miami

Behold the ‘Cuban tiramisú’

if you thought the Dunkin Donuts’ Cuban Sandwich wasn’t enough to lure you to the Sunshine State, consider this:

Andy Herrera, a happy-looking Miami baker based in Hialeah, is having his social-media moment of glory thanks to an abomination unusual creation of his: A vanilla cake filled with whipped cream, Nutella –and dozens golden brown, fried ham croquetas. Yup.

I know there are many things I don’t like/understand about Miami, but this one simply takes the cake (bad pun intended.)

Intrigued? Go read this here. I’m done.

Photo: MiamiHerald.com

‘Gringo’: An Australian Film About Mexico Featuring Mainly Non-Mexicans –and a Weed Pill

Nash Edgerton, an Australian director you probably never heard of, has been hard at work promoting the upcoming premiere of Gringo, a movie about gringos in Mexico (presumably) that, for some reason, features mostly South African and Australian actors.

Starring David Oyelowo, Joel Edgerton and Charlize Theron, Gringo is described as “a dark comedy with dramatic intrigue,” in which a gringo joyrides across the border into Mexico, “where all is not as it seems for mild-mannered American businessmen.”

SIGH…

Anyhow… The official poster says it all (above), but if you are a member of the brown-skinned race and feel underrepresented… WORRY NOT! The folks over at the #GringoMovie promos have made a special poster to appeal to the brown masses. It features the two Mexicans available.

¡Ajúa!

Intrigued? Here’s a trailer if you’re brave enough to watch.

Mexico Has Had it with America’s Sombrero-Wearing Bullies

Mexico’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs this week released an anti-bullying campaign video, calling the attention to bullying experienced by Mexican migrants in the U.S.

In the video, a narrator encourages migrants to go to their nearest Mexican consulate (there are 50 across the U.S.), to receive support and guidance, but –more importantly–  it gives paisanos some useful tips to deal with bullying in their communities.

For example:

If you or someone you know is being bullied, here are some steps that can help you: talk to someone you trust, bring the issue to light. Don’t isolate yourself! Whatever you do, don’t engage in violence. Be self-confident to avoid being an easy target. Be proud of who you are.

And this, my friends, is super important, especially if you are one of those Mexicans who love to walk around in a mariachi sombrero all day long (ahem, ahem.)

However, I just have one question: When can we expect a similar campaign from the Mexican government, IN MEXICO, about brown skin Mexicans been bullied by the non-brown Mexicans? 🤔

ideo

Mexican Olympic Skier Finishes Last, but He Finishes… So ¡Viva México, Cabrones!

¡Sí, se puede!

German Madrazo, the 43-year-old Mexican who had NEVER skied until last year, finished last in Friday’s 15km cross country competition at the Olympic Games at the PyeongChang’s Winter Olympics in South Korea.

See? It’s all true what our abuelas used to say: It doesn’t matter if you’re first –or last– the most important is to compete… *and* wave a huge Mexican flag while you’re at it.

¡Viva México, cabrones! y ¡Ajúa!

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Mark Cuban & Co. Invest $400,000 in Avocaderia, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore –and I’m Dead

I don’t know what this is, and I don’t think I want to know

Remember that Brooklyn hipster-paradise known as Avocaderia? Well, it’s like, sooooo popular and all, that it just received a ton of money from Mark Cuban and Barbara Corcoran, who are putting down $200,000 each to get a 20 percent stake in the hipster Brooklyn eatery.

Founded by a trio of Italian people who apparently never had an avocado when growing up, Avocaderia was the first establishment in this city to ride the millennial avocado craze. The self-described “first avocado bar in the world,” serves avocado-based salads, sandwiches, bowls, smoothies, desserts –and many other things that shall remain unidentified in this venerable blog.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering: This thing is so popular, their owners are getting ready to open a new location in Chelsea this spring.

Now, if y’all excuse me, I’ll just go get drunk on a non-avocado triple martini (whatever that means.)

Via: AmNY