Here is a $12.99 Plastic Taco Truck Taco Holder

Because make believe 'tacos' must be held, somehow
Because make believe ‘tacos’ must be held, somehow

If you are one of those people who insist on eating hard-shell “tortillas” stuffed with a suspicious melange of sour cream, olives, cheddar cheese and lettuce, you might as well be interested in the $12.99 Taco Truck Taco Holder, a plastic contraption that will help you “cradle” one of those… things.

It’s only $12.99, so how can you go wrong?

Rodner Figueroa: Hispanic Media’s Convenient Scapegoat

RodnerMuch has been written this week about the precipitous downfall of Venezuelan TV host Rodner Figueroa, who was fired from his high-paying job in Univision after making an inexcusable, racist comment about Michelle Obama live, during the superpopular daytime show El gordo y la flaca. More specifically  – without mincing words – Figueroa compared the First Lady to someone from the cast of the Planet of the Apes movie.

Click here to watch the video of what he said exactly (in Spanish.)

queridaenemiga
‘Querida enemiga’ features two Scandinavian-looking Mexican chefs

Sure, Figueroa said something horrible. Yes, Univision did the right thing by reacting quickly and firing him “immediately” barely hours after he made the now infamous commentary.

But what many fail to see is that “The Figueroa Affair” is by no means new, nor shocking, at least for those of us who intimately know the ugly inners of Latin American – and U.S. Hispanic – media. As anthropologist Arlene Dávila wrote recently: “Sadly these types of comments are very common in Univision, and rarely regulated.”

While this is indeed true, is by no means limited to Univision. Take any television show in the U.S. (Univision, Telemundo, Azteca America, MundoFox;) Peru (SurPerú;) Mexico (Televisa, TV Azteca;) Venezuela, Colombia, etc. and you’ll see what I mean.

I grew up in Mexico City, and was always intrigued (not really shocked back then) to see that people on TV didn’t look at all like most people I saw on a daily basis. I mean, even the maids were all like, well-coiffed, blond actresses!

Wether it was telenovela stars or Cuban-born TV hosts, everybody looked (and still does) like they were all hailing from Scandinavia.

cristina29
Can you spot the Latinos and non-Latinos? HINT: They are all Latinos

I dare you find a Black actor or actress (yes, there are Black people in Latin America;) an Indigenous Mexican (oh, yes, we have plenty) unless – of course – they are shown as objects of ridicule.

Want more? Take this promotional spot from Mexico’s media giant Grupo Televisa pretty much portraying Africans as a bunch of savages. Oh, did I mention Televisa is Univision’s partner, co-owner and provider of content?

See? Per the above examples, Africans (i.e. blacks) are savages, and Indians are pretty much non-existing. Thus, it was only natural that a local residencial developer in El Salvador this year used a light-skinned, blond family of three to pitch its “super affordable low-cost housing,” even though only a 0.1 percent of the population of El Salvador looks like these three.

Salvador

Sure, pummeling Rodner Figueroa as if he were a Kim Kardashian piñata might feel like a good thing to do right now: It will make us feel great about ourselves as defenders of a racism-free world.

Just don’t forget: He is not the isolated racist weirdo they might have you believe in this wonderful universe that came to be known as Hispanic Media.

Ruining Tacos, Now Available in 3D Printing Fashion

A 3D printed donut cutter was used to produce puffed deep fried taco donuts
A 3D printed donut cutter was used to produce puffed deep fried taco donuts

Some genius (i.e. Imgur user BarryAbrams) has invented a 3D doughnut cutter that basically makes it possible to 3D print a “donut taco,” whatever that means. The project, explained here in detail, allows to fill a doughnut with “taco stuff,” which is something his creator wanted to do when he was fifteen.

Per Abrams himself:

[The taco donuts] were partially dunked in queso cheese [SIC,] then some sour cream was piped on like frosting. A little guacamole, some cilantro and some sriracha to top it off.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like throwing a 3D-printed chancla to the inventor of this thing and politely demand some more taco respect.

Macy’s Spring Collection: You, Too, Can Look like a Short, Dark-Skinned Mariachi

Macys It’s always good to see marketers learn from their past mistakes. Remember the Brown is the New White t-shirt from Macy’s?

Well, no more of that. Instead of launching ethnically-relevant products to please Latino shoppers, Macy’s seems to have changed course and it’s now using tall, unmistakably non-Hispanic blonds to pitch a … are you ready?… “mariachi-style” suit. According to Macy’s own blog, the new collection doesn’t stop there. It promises tons of other Mexican-themed things, including –what else?– plenty of sombreros.

Do I smell sombreros?
Did anybody say ‘sombreros?’

I don’t know you, but I feel like living la vida loca lived by these nice ladies up here, so don’t judge me if the first thing I do when I go back to New York is rush to 34th Street & Broadway. Who doesn’t want to look that fabulous?

¡Ajúa!

Hat tip: gbujanda 

Stay Tuned for this Blog’s Coverage of MWC15 in Barcelona

Barcelona, here I come!
Barcelona, here I come!

Barcelona might not be the place to go for a taco lover like myself, but I will do my best to bring you this — and other equally delicious — gadgets and technology trends during this year’s Mobile World Congress in Barcelona.

Follow me on Twitter for your daily fix of Jamón – and tapas- inspired tech or, for a “slightly” more professional (albeit less funny coverage) follow me and my colleagues at CNET.com/ES [en español.]

‘Bean Bang Theory’ Concludes: It’s Colombia not Columbia

At least it acknowledges it's Colombia, not Columbia
At least it acknowledges it’s Colombia, not Columbia

I have no idea how much money the Colombian government has put into its latest coffee campaign, but their creatives could use a little help. Besides the name of the campaign, which is supposed to be a pun (Bean Bag –Not Big Ban–  Theory, get it?) there’s nothing much more here, except a long video, featuring a gringo showing us around Colombia.

The only positive thing I can say about the Bean Bang Theory is that it makes it clear what I’ve been saying all these years: It’s Colombia, Not Columbia.

Michelle Obama Does ‘Sábado Gigante;’ Alas, not for ‘Miss Colita’ Pageant

FlotusDonFrancisco

You might dismiss Don Francisco as your abuela television icon, but his star power seems to be at its highest (and his energy certainly surpasses that of the “other aged Cuban“). Proof of this is tomorrow’s show, which will feature none other than Michelle Obama herself.

Alas, the U.S. First Lady will be discussing post-secondary education and the financial support available to students who complete the FAFSA, among other ‘unexciting’ things.

Per a Univision press release:

Appearing as part of her Reach Higher initiative, the First Lady will share her own story of pursuing and financing her higher education, and will join Secretary Duncan in encouraging Hispanic students to apply for the financial aid available to them.

Is it too much to ask Don Francisco to have FLOTUS engage in some of Sábado Gigante’s more fun stuff like the Miss Colita Pageant or at least the Mamacita one?

Univision, please? I promise to watch and keep my sarcastic comments to myself –or not.

This is the Only ’50 Shades of Grey’ Thing Worth Watching

50 Shades of Grey becomes 'Vieja lujuriosa' thanks to the always awesome Tres Tristes Tigres
’50 Shades of Grey’ becomes ‘Vieja lujuriosa’ thanks to the always awesome Tres Tristes Tigres. ¡Ajúa!

Thank God for Mexico’s Los Tres Tristes Tigres, who will always make the unbearable not only bearable but just awesome!

I’m sorry for the English-only crowd, the lyrics of this 50 Shades of Grey (aka Vieja Lujuriosa) are simply delicious.

Enjoy!

Are you Ready for Some Latino-Inspired Online Shopping?

Screen Shot 2015-02-18 at 8.01.01 PMAwwww, the Internet is full of wonderful things, isn’t it?

Take the growing crop of Latino-inspired products you can now buy online, promising you to hold onto our Hispanicness by acquiring accessories, clothing, nutrition supplements and –yes– hats, all inspired by Latinos or Hispanic people like -ahem, ahem- you and me.

One of such sites is Hispanic.com, which I only discovered today (apologies) and which peddles all kinds of awesome stuff, including a Latino-inspired wallet, a culturally-relevant stuffed armadillo or — better — a Que pasa vato [SIC] baby bib hereby featured on an adorable, albeti non-Latino-looking toddler.

Mama Ines is being pitched as the Cuban Aunt Jemima
Mama Ines is being pitched as the Cuban Aunt Jemima

However, if generic “Hispanic stuff” is not for you because you happen to belong to a special type of Hispanic (i.e. you are Cuban), we have something awesome just for you: The Cuban Food Market, where you can find some jewels from the island-to-become-Miami-in-no-time®, including a Le Cuban Salt & Pepper shaker or the Mama Ines [SIC] fridge magnet (below).

All I can say is one Very Latino Thing: ¡Ay, Dios mío!

Latinas Have Hot & Steamy Relationships with Their Coffee

Not content with launching a “Latin-inspired” line of products featuring a hot & steamy abuela and producing its own telenovela, Coffee Mate is back on its “hot steamy” theme, this time in the form of a short video featuring a Latina having way too much pleasure with her coffee.

Is this supposed to be a plug for the equally pathetic 50 Shades of Gray or what is this thing exactly?

Hat tip: Julio Varela

Gringos Might Have Cupcakes, but Mexicans Have ‘Cupcaky’

Cupcaky

Awwww, Mexico!

Not content with inventing the Coc Nuts Coold the Apelbii’s and the Crossfit Taquería among many other binational wonders, Mexico is now introducing a new concept in sugary treats: The cupcaky, which I can only guess is a close relative to its gringo counterpart, the cupcake…

Oh, and I’m sure this thing is damn good, since it costs five times more than a conchita and three times more than a dona.

How can anybody not love Mexicans?

Photo via: Ricardo Trejo