Taco Bell Launches the Naked Egg Taco, Because there’s not Enough Misery in America

SAD!

And just when I thought life couldn’t be more miserable, Taco Bell today announced the national rollout of the “Naked Egg Taco,” a “thing” that for a while was only available to the poor souls of Flint, Michigan.

“The Naked Egg Taco strips down the traditional breakfast taco, allowing us to deliver a new flavor experience in every single bite,” said Liz Matthews, Chief Food Innovation Officer at Taco Bell Corp, apparently with a straight face. 

In case you were wondering, this “thing” is filled with fried potatoes, cheese, sausage or bacon and will roll out nationwide on August 31 at a bargain price of $1.99.

OK. Send in the nukes, people, I’m ready…

Taco Bell’s Biscuit Taco Proves There’s no Hope in Humanity

BiscuitTaco

And just when I thought the height of ridiculousness had been reached with the Quesarito and the Frito-stuffed Chicken Enchilada Melt, comes the Biscuit Taco, a breakfast concept being tested in -where else?- California.

A company briefing describes the Biscuit Taco as a “warm, flaky, golden brown biscuit that happens to be shaped in the form of a taco,” and will very likely clog your arteries. (That last bit is mine, of course, but I think the company might want to reconsider its briefing or at least add some kind of health disclaimer.)

But the Biscuit Taco is not alone in its ridiculousness, and is only the latest addition to the I Don’t Wanna Taco ‘Bout it Wall of Shame, which you are free to click -of course- at your own risk.

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