WARNING: Avocado Knife-Injuries on the Rise, Mostly Among non-Mexicans

Avocado Hand is no joking matter. Just ask Meryl Streep.

OKAY, people, stop doing whatever it is you are doing right now. A potentially devastating malaise known as Avocado Hand is affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado, namely Americans and Brits.

According to the always reliable Daily Mail, the number of people visiting the emergency room suffering from “avocado hand” knife injuries is on the rise. But… how bad exactly is this thing? Well, it is so bad it once got none other than Meryl Streep, who famously required hand surgery after cutting her fingers while preparing a delish guacamole.

The problem is not limited to America, no señor. London-based plastic surgeon Simon Eccles told The Times that he sees about four patients a week now suffering with wounds caused by trying to cut an avocado, because — shockingly — there are avocados in London.

Fortunately, they are plenty of resources out there for you not to end up in the emergency room with a bunch of avocado-clueless anglos. There are even guides and fancy gadgets for you to master your avocado grip.

To wit…

and….

So, get yourself together and don’t say I didn’t warn you….