Trump Went to Mexico. It Was Painful, but Hilarity Prevailed

yallego

Mexicans, how can anybody not like us?

On the day Republican candidate Donald Trump (aka El Trumpo) accepted an (inexplicable) invitation by moronic Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto to publicly embarrass him (this time at his own home in Los Pinos), this blogger’s timeline was filled with something that will forever make me love my country: That unique sense of humor that always manages to shine when the going gets tough.

Here are only a few memes of the now infamous Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2016.

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Mexican Reporter Goes to Flood Area, Asks Locals to be Carried to Avoid Water. Hilarity Ensues

sopitasA reporter in Mexico went to cover massive floods happening in Puebla, and was caught by another reporter being carried by the locals, obviously in an effort to, well, not get wet.

The original tweet (below) from reporter José Daniel Hernández simply read: “How embarrassing! @LydiaCumming, a reporter with @TVAztecaPuebla asks for help in order not to get wet.”

What followed, naturally, was a flood of tweets that have this blogger dying of laughter. Below some of my favorites. (Apologies in advance if I do not credit each one of these properly, but Twitter can be a free-for-all stealing thing.)

#SharkAttack

LadyReporteraShare

AT THE THREE AMIGOS SUMMIT

@LosSimpsonMX
@LosSimpsonMX

JUST LIKE RONALDO

@Gooz25
@Gooz25

L RING

@BorrachosVIP
@BorrachosVIP

VAMPIPE, OF COURSE

 

After Orlando, Should Mexicans Keep Chanting ‘Ehhhhhh, Puto!’ at Soccer Matches?

Is this the end of the 'Puto' chant?
Is this the end of the ‘Puto’ chant?

Don’t go on reading if you think I have the answer to the above question, but it’s one that is being asked more and more these days, especially after a deranged individual stormed a gay bar in Orlando, Florida, killing dozens of people and earning the “honor” of having committed this country’s deadliest mass shooting to date.

Unless you live under a rock or — what’s more likely — don’t follow fútbol mexicano, Mexican soccer fans for years have popularized a simple chant to address goalies. It goes like this: “Ehhhhhhhh, puto!”. 

Puto, in a nutshell, can be translated as “fag” and it’s used because in Spanish, to score a goal is to “put [the ball] in” as in meterla (PUT IT IN), get it? Put “it” in.

Heck, even kids do it!

Per a 2014 story on Vice.com:

[The phrase] was first used by rowdy fans during soccer games in Guadalajara in 2004 —including an Olympics qualifying match against the US, Mexico’s bitter soccer rival, and from there it spread throughout Mexico’s professional soccer league.

It is true that the phrase came across as particularly insensitive Monday night, during a Copa America match between Mexico and Venezuela.

As a writer from The Guardian pointed out this week, the chant’s effect “was all the more jarring after a minute’s silence had been held in the stadium for the victims of the [Orlando] tragedy.”

Upon reading The Guardian story, I texted a [Mexican] friend, in Mexico, and told him: “I feel torn about the puto chant. Personally, I think it’s not the same to chant puto and then go on your way without hurting a fly, than buying a AR-15 automatic rifle and plenty of ammunition, and then go kill 50 people….without uttering the word PUTO even once.”

My friend feels the same way as I do, but perhaps that’s also because, like me, he is also Mexico born and has never lived in PC-USA.

We were both pretty sure that Omar Mateen did not yell “Ehhhhh, PUTOS” when he was doing his bloody business inside the Pulse Nightclub Saturday night. But perhaps the idea of “a bunch of faggots having a good time” was ringing in his head throughout the whole thing in some shape or form. Who the heck cares if he uttered any word or not?

As a Mexican, born in Mexico and accustomed to macho culture & language, but yet raised in a household that was always tolerant to people who were “different” from us, I’ve always deemed the “Ehhhhh, puto” chant as totally harmless.

Now, after 15 years plus living in this country, I’m not so sure.

Help me understand, please. Comments, as usual, are more than welcome, below.

Mexican Rats Smoke Cigarettes, and are Dying From it

The infamous dead rat is back on Mexico's cigarettes packaging.
The infamous dead rat is back on Mexico’s cigarettes packaging.

Let other countries use graphic images of low-weight babies, cancerous lungs or people exhaling smoke through a tracheotomy opening to show the perils of smokers. The Mexican government has decided to go a slightly different way.

Mexico’s health authorities decided to bring back the image of a dead rat covering the top half of cigarette packages. The reason? It is the one image that — according to a survey among Mexican smokers — will be more likely to help them quit.

Yeah, right.

Mexico’s health authorities are so naive they fail to see smokers were just screwing with their heads.

Aspiring Congresswoman in Mexico Campaigns as ‘The Helpful Blond,’ Because Mexico

Not the Onion

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted.

Corintia Cruz (above) thought it was an awesome idea to campaign under the slogan of: Corintia, la güerita que te ayuda, which loosely translates as Corintia, the little blond woman who will help you.

I have no idea what her political platform and/or proposals for the people of Veracruz are, but given the fact that she is from the PRI, I’m pretty sure she’s pretty adept at helping … herself.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering: No, my country is *not* racist.

Via: Libertad Bajo Palabra

Grupo Televisa Launches Netflix-Like Service in Mexico; Hilarity Ensues

IMG_4241

Mexican media giant — and Univision partner in [programming] crime — this week announced the launch of Blim.com, an OTT service á la Netflix.

Per the official announcement, the service is expected to cost $6.05 per month (which is roughly many, many, many pesos) and feature “relevant, Spanish-language programming targeting users in Mexico and Latin America.”

Mexicans promptly took to Twitter to share their “enthusiasm” around this thing. NOT.

Here are only a few examples of what Mexico twitteratti is saying about Blim.com

 

“Everyone is making money on the Internet; except us!” — Televisa introducing Blim.com

 

My friend, Azcárraga. Congrats on Blim; you do know what young viewers really want to watch on the Internet.

 

My phone is so smart, it will not install Blim

 

Or … does it only work on Alcatel phones?

Al parecer #Blim sólo funciona en dispositivos Alcatel.

This survey

 

Ironies aside, there are some tuiteros, including God himself, who think Blim can be a success. But three things must happen first: 

1. Better programming

2. Better pricing

3. Netflix must disappear

 

Sombreros Galore During Pope’s Mexico Visit, because ¡Ajúa!

penanieto

Next time you go all funny thinking my people feel offended about sombreros and such, remember there’s nothing we love more than putting mariachi hats on everybody. And by everybody, I mean everybody.

 

Pope Francis Gets Convenient Gift Before 12-Hour Flight

sombrero Pope Francis

Right before taking a plane that will take him to Cuba, then Mexico, Pope Francis received a bunch of gifts from several Latin American journalists who are making the trip with him. Among my favorites: A gigantic sombrero featuring what looks to be the map of Argentina and a cartoonish image of Pope Francis himself.

Poor Bergoglio… and he hasn’t even arrived yet.

Via: @infobae

Even Aliens Know Mexican Avocados are out of this World

avos

Avocados From Mexico is back on the Super Bowl advertising game with #AvosInSpace, its latest TV commercial that is scheduled to make its official debut on Sunday, during the Big Game in San Francisco.

While the spot is not as adorable as that of last year (remember the polar bear clad in mariachi gear voting for Mexico?) it does a good job highlighting the ridiculousness of what the human race has become.

In the spot we see a bunch of aliens in a spaceship learning about human culture and our most unique Earthly possessions, which include emojis, torture devices (aka airplanes) chia pets and — oh dear — the infamous dress — or as the aliens refer to it, “the white and gold dress that caused a civil war.”

During a brief tour, the guide tells aliens about the most amazing thing of all: The avocados from Mexico, which are always in season, so you can enjoy them all year long.

Via: Avocados From Mexico

Indigenous Community in Oaxaca Responds to Coca-Cola: ‘We Didn’t Use to Have Diabetes’

diabetesThis happened.

On the heels of Coca-Cola pulling its controversial ad featuring a group of white Mexican kids bringing hope — and sugary drinks — to an indigenous community in Oaxaca, a group of mixe indians from the town of Totontepec came on to share their own message.

Using the same footage of the now infamous Coca-Cola spot, the mixes take the stage to share stories about their community’s lack of water and an alarming increase in diabetes levels, brought about by — what else? — sugary drinks like Coca-Cola. Among other things, their message (in mixe language featuring Spanish subtitles) includes the following statement by one local student:

“Fifty years ago, cases of diabetes type 2 in our indian communities were rare; now they begin to be an epidemic. In order to remain united, we must preserve our dignity, our health and our culture. In Oaxaca, we drink tejare, tea and clean water.”

News of the spot was first reported by SinEmbargo.com.mx in Mexico. Here’s the video, in mixe language with subtitles in Spanish. Stay tuned as I will be translating the whole message very soon. I just need to get this out for the sake of giving the mixes the space they deserve.