It’s December 12, 2021 and I’m back in my beloved CDMX. Yes, I arrived just in time for the Guadalupe celebrations, and to kick off of a month-long taco/tostada/pozole/champurrado-filled Guadalupe-Reyes Marathon.
Alas, Sunday morning I woke up to the news of Vicente Fernández’ passing. Fernández, who once wrote a corrido for Hillary Clinton, was a beloved figure to many Mexicans, (i.e. not this blogger, though.) But I digress. My point is that I woke up to news of “Chente’s” passing by none other than The Washington Post, which tweeted: “Vicente Fernández, Cowboy King of Ranchera Music, Dies at 81.”
Cowboy King? Sure, Jan! The now-deleted tweet was retweeted by yours truly and started to get some traction until it was deleted a few minutes later. The corrected headline was changed to “Vicente Fernández, King of Ranchera Music, Dies at 81.”
But the fun was only starting. I began reading the actual piece only to see some priceless translations of some of Chente’s biggest hits:
“Volver Volver” somehow was translated as “Go Back, Go Back…”
…which, minutes later, and after Mexican tweeted couldn’t stop laughing, was corrected to read “Return Return….”
Hilarity ensued and I couldn’t love my followers any more:
It took Alan y Roberto (a Mexican duet) barely two hours to write a corrrido dedicated to the coronavirus, but the song is on its way to become a YouTube hit.
“I told him we are going to make a theme for them [Latinos impacted by COVID-19]… give them encouragement, hope and a positive message. Because the truth is something that many people are going through”, Alan Meza, told Univision Arizona.
“We have never had to experience something like this, really,” added Roberto Meza. “I know that there was a lot of fear, a lot of uncertainty on the part of the people and the truth was that was our mission, to carry that message.”
As is mostly the case with corridos, the tune is monotonous and kind of generic but what seals the deal are the lyrics. Always. Here’s a taste
Everyone was very scared, because of the coronavirus
We ran out of toilet paper, rice and even beans
Water is also becoming scarce
But fear not, it will all be over soon
Stoers, restaurants, schools and bars have closed their doors
And so in keeping with the tradition, the Biden campaign has released the Todos con Biden salsa, a 3:30 minute long Spanish-language song with some “inspirational” words to help pitch the message of abuelito Joe among my people (i.e. The Latinos). Performed by Ander DeFrank (aka El Negro que Canta) the song kicks off by telling us that a Biden presidency will restore the nation by doing several things, including extending access to education and put an end to detention centers at the border, among many others.
For the monolingual, the chorus goes kind of like this…
Biden, Biden is the safe road
Let’s walk together, hand in hand
All for one, one and for all
Biden is a serious, honest and trustworthy man…
You get the drill. Now WATCH (if you can endure the 3-plus minutes of this thing; I’m off to make myself a drink.)
Snoop Dogg and Banda Ms on Friday released Qué Maldición, a long awaited collaboration between America’s famed pothead and the Sinaloa insanely popular band. It’s by far the weirdest Anglo-Latin collaboration I’ve seen in a long time and I’m not sure I’m 100 percent sold.
Watch & listen at your own peril. I’ll be somewhere still trying to figure out 2020.
From the Archives of I Could Not Make This Thing Up if I Tried comes Richard Carranza, the recently appointed New York City Schools Chancellor, who took a very unsual approach when discussing his new job with Mr. De Blasio and wife: He serenaded them with mariachi song María Elena.
His background is plain awesome. Per the [failing] New York Times:
At Monday’s news conference, Mr. Carranza said he had been a mariachi musician since he was about 6 years old. When he wanted to stay up late with his father and his uncles, they said the only people staying up late were people playing instruments — so he learned to play the guitar. He later worked his way through college at the University of Arizona “gigging,” as he put it on Monday.
Now you know. If running our disastrous public school system turns out to be too much for this fellow Mexican, he can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!
Mexican immigrants are not precisely popular these days –and I’m pretty sure we’ll all get deported real soon. But local mariachis are making their way to the world of high fashion, thanks in part to Kate Spade New York.
The brand has tapped the all-female mariachi band Flor de Toloache to tout its “timeless — and timely — collection,” which is full of “cute cultural references” and is now available on Kate Spade’s Website.*
WATCH as the all-female band gets on the [FAILING] New York City subway while model Fernanda Ly walks in sporting a “lace-trimmed flouncy dresses” and a handbag that features a tiny burrito or something weird like that.
*Alas, the fabulous black charro suits are not part of the collection’s offering.
Some people are really losing their sh*t over Super Mario Odyssey, Nintendo’s upcoming game for the Nintendo Switch set to release in October.
The reason? Among the challenges to be faced by our cute mustachioed friend is a new “Mexican level,” a town called — what else? — Tostarena, which is populated by “colorful skull-headed creatures in ponchos and sombreros.”
Not only I’m not offended by this idea; I’m so totally looking forward to playing this thing. I mean, everyone here looks very happy, has a guitar, wears a sombrero and — I can only hope — eats tostadas all day.
There is nothing that annoys me more than Americans thinking they know Mexico and Mexican culture because they like to drink Corona beer.
Fortunately, there’s one gringo who knows there are alternatives, including Victoria beer, the only cerveza this blogger likes. See? No matter how much this guy sucks at everything “Mexican;” all he needs to do is drink a non-Corona beer (in this case a Victoria) to pass as a real Mexican among the dudes.
Here’s the latest spot for Victoria beer, featuring the hilarious El Corrido de Greg, with music by my cuates of Mixto Music.
In the latest episode of the political joke we’re now living, Rep. Mike Conaway from Texas just told The Dallas Morning News (apparently with a straight face) that the Democrats using Mexican singers, charros,mariachis and soap operas to lure Hispanics to the Hillary Clinton campaign is pretty much the same thing as the Russian hacking scandal.
Per Conaway himself:
“Harry Reid and the Democrats brought in Mexican soap opera stars, singers and entertainers who had immense influence in those communities into Las Vegas, to entertain, get out the vote and so forth.”
And this, says Conaway, should be considered “foreign influence […] If we’re worried about foreign influence, let’s have the whole story.”
Really? Last I checked, many of those colorful people seen singing on stage or hosting taco-filled fiestas for Hillary were actually U.S.-born or U.S. citizens (Los Tigres del Norte, Julieta Venegas, Vicente Fernández, etc.) but anyway, they were not sneaking behind the Web to hack an election were they.