Miami Baker Concocts Cake Featuring Fried Ham Croquetas –Because Miami

Behold the ‘Cuban tiramisú’

if you thought the Dunkin Donuts’ Cuban Sandwich wasn’t enough to lure you to the Sunshine State, consider this:

Andy Herrera, a happy-looking Miami baker based in Hialeah, is having his social-media moment of glory thanks to an abomination unusual creation of his: A vanilla cake filled with whipped cream, Nutella –and dozens golden brown, fried ham croquetas. Yup.

I know there are many things I don’t like/understand about Miami, but this one simply takes the cake (bad pun intended.)

Intrigued? Go read this here. I’m done.

Photo: MiamiHerald.com

Fidel Castro Is Dead, Because 2016

On November 25, 2016, at around 10:00 PM local time, Raúl Castro confirmed the dead of Fidel Castro, the Cuban revolutionary who was the nemesis of 11 U.S. presidents. He was 90.

This blogger has yet to process this information, and it won’t be easy, mostly because 2016 has been hitting us with one calamity after another. PLUS… I’m still trying to recover from a week-long tacos/tamales smörgåsbord in Mexico City.

My whole family is in mourning mood right now, though I had to remind them the worst is yet to come… Hello, Jan. 20, 2017!

Can 2016 please take us all and get this thing over with?

RIP FIDEL

President Obama Does Latin America; Has more Fun than you

ObamaTango

After a historic visit to Cuba, where he posed next to El Ché, learned how to salsa, sipped mojitos and smoked cigars, President Barack Obama this week made his way to Argentina, his first official visit to the South American country.

Barely hours after the Air Force One touched down in the Argentinean capital, the Obamas found themselves wrapping their legs around perfect strangers.

Oh, and how they enjoyed it!

Let the Hispandering Begin. Ted Cruz Launches Ad in Spanish

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Canadian immigrant to run for U.S. President

The anti-immigration, anti-gay, climate-change denier, Canadian immigrant Christian (aka Ted Cruz) today confirmed he will be running for President in 2016, which is like sad, since I don’t think he is even remotely aware he has a zero chance of going anywhere with that.

Still, that has not deterred Cruz from launching a Spanish-language campaign, Ted Cruz para Presidente, highlighting his own condition as immigrant and pretty much making us believe his story is just exactly like the story of all immigrants in this country.

Yeah, right…

Oh, and by the way, if he is so proud of his origin, how come he is not himself addressing potential voters in Spanish?

U.S.-Cuba: The Thaw in Today’s Newspapers [photo gallery]

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Click on each paper (below) to see full gallery…

I will be adding more as time -and energy- allow.

Americans: Here’s your [Last] Chance to See the Real Cuba

La Habana
La Habana

I am not going to bother you with details, but unless you’ve been living under a rock (or have no access to the Internet), I’m sure you know that hipster/communist/pothead/deranged/delusional President Barack Obama on Wednesday decided to be like BFF with the Castro brothers (and no, I’m not talking about those other Castro brothers.)

In any case, I’m sure you’re already planning your 2015 Cuba bacchanalia vacation thinking it’s going to be non-stop music, cigars, rum, chicas and fiesta. But let’s take a look at what this country looks like right now before you guys go ruin it all (HINT: It’s gorgeous!)

Oh, and by the way, I’m posting the following photos — taken by yours truly — with confidence I will not be deported and/or lose my Green Card in the process. (Should that be the case, please start raising some funds for my release.)

All photos by Laura Martínez (2012).

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Who Wants to Smell Like Hugo Chávez and Ché Guevara?

ErnestoHugoPerfumesFrom the #NotTheOnion archives of this venerable blog, come the new “Ernesto” and “Hugo” fragrances, created in honor of -who else?- Ernesto “Ché” Guevara, and the late Hugo Chávez himself.

“Ernesto” is being described as having a touch of “wood,” while “Hugo” is “softer, with a touch of subtle, tropical scents.”

This is not a joke, you people. It’s the creation of a serious Cuban enterprise, Labiofam, whose founder spoke personally to my friend Andrea Rodríguez, of AP in Havana.

Now you know.

Dunkin Donuts’ Cuban Sandwich Luckily Only Available in Miami

CubanSandwich

And just when I needed one more reason to not visit Miami, Dunkin Donuts has introduced the all-new Cuban sandwich, featuring roasted pork loin, Swiss cheese and ham on an oven-toasted thing it dares to call a “French roll.”

But if you think this beauty does not look Cuban enough, consider this: The meat is topped with a “creamy Cuban spread of Dijon mustard and chipped dill pickle,” because, as we all know, nothing screams Cuba like Dijon mustard and chipped dill pickle.

Fortunately for this blogger, the Cuban sandwich is for sale exclusively in restaurants located in the Miami-Fort Lauderdale area.

¡Ay, qué pena!

Photo: @RISHayyy

This Tide Commercial Shows Why it’s so Hard to be a Hispanic Millennial

TideAbuela

If you thought Hispanic millennials were just like regular millennials, think again.

Hispanic millennials, according to a new series of Tide commercials, not only sit around doing nothing and play with their phones. They have the added burden of having to translate their Spanish-dominant grandmothers while they go on and on and on about how to take care of their whites. (And by ‘whites’ I’m talking about clothes and not “not-brown-people.”)

And this one…

All I can tell you right now is that the Tide abuela has a better command of Spanish than this other P&G abuela.

How do you Say ‘Appetizers’ in Cuban Spanish?

Based on my most recent trip to the island  -where I spent a couple of weeks doing absolutely nothing language research-  I realized Cubans are increasingly translating their restaurant menus, street signs and monument guides to cater to an ever-growing tourist industry.

One thing I couldn’t be 100% sure, though, is what the ‘Cuban’ word for appetizer was. While a paladar in Havana offered me a very limited variety of “incomings,” including 20 pieces of olives…

Incoming

… Melaíto, a snack bar in Pinar del Río promised a more extended list of “entrances,” including “boilet greens” and “French Fried.”

entrances

Either way, I’m not happy to report that everything pretty much sucked. Cuba is gorgeous and its people are simply the best. Its food… well, that’s another story.

Photos: Laura Martínez, Cuba 2013

Cubans ‘Avanzan Confiados’ with Chevrolet, not Toyota

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Remember Toyota’s ‘Avanza Confiado’ tagline for the U.S. Hispanic market? Well, it seems the automaker hasn’t used it for a while, hopefully apparently because 1) It sounds awful and/or 2) They found a better copywriter.

Either way, that doesn’t seem to bother this Chevrolet owner in Viñales, Cuba, who was proudly driving around in a 1950’s Chevrolet which -by the way- seemed to avanzar lento, pero con mucha confianza.

Photos: Laura Martínez. Valle de Viñales, Cuba 2013

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