Category: Language

Coño! I’ll Never Become a Teacher in NYC

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I have found yet another reason why a school will never hire me to teach anything…. anywhere.

According to the AP, Carlos Garcia, a New York City high-school teacher, has been suspended and fined with $15,000 for what school officials say was “misconduct for using it in his Manhattan classroom,” in other words, for saying the word “coño” out loud.

If uttering a word such as “coño” is considered “misconduct” in a classroom, this blogger has absolutely no future in the field of education. So without further ado, I am withdrawing my candidacy to assist Ms. Catherine P. Black in her new gig as NYC School Czar, even though she looks to be as clueless to handle the task as I am.

¡Coño!

FUNIBER Wants You to Master in Bad Spanish

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I just love it when teaching institutions spend their money luring U.S. Hispanics to whatever it is that they do. But my favorite ones have to be those who offer a Master in Spanish as a Second Language by pitching the course in, well, lousy Spanish.

Take FUNIBER (Fundación Universitaria Iberoamericana,) an obscure academic institution that has been advertising in some Latino-targeted sites in the U.S., promising students to make the most out of speaking Spanish.

Problem is: If you are truly a Spanish-speaker (so presumably you can teach others) you’d know you have to say “Haz de tu español una gran ventaja” and NOT “Has de tu español una gran ventaja,” simply because, you know? it is WRONG!

Too subtle for you? Go check your dictionary. But, more importantly, don’t let these guys fool you!

Are You a Latino Travelling to Arizona? Don’t Forget to Fake a Foreign Accent Syndrome

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If you belong to the ‘brown’ race and plan to travel to Arizona in the near future, make sure to fake a Foreign Accent Syndrome (FAS) a rare, but not uncommon condition that will make you sound as if you are from some exotic land, namely Ireland, Wales or as I like to call it, ABLA (Anywhere But Latin America.)

Please watch and pay attention! Don’t you let the 1070 bill catch you unawares! Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about "Foreign accent syndrome", posted with vodpod

Hispanic New Yorkers Find Novel Way to Mess Up their Offspring

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If you thought U.S.-born Hispanics didn’t have enough tribulations, consider this: Their parents have found a novel way to screw them up from a very tender age, by giving them names their abuela (and probably themselves) will not be able to pronounce.

According to the New York City Department of Health, the most popular name among Hispanic males is now Jayden, surpassing the always popular Daniel and Michael, while Ashley is now a favorite among the little Latinas.

Other names in the top ten among Hispanics: Brandon, Genesis, Joshua and Brianna.

[And you want us to grow up like normal people?]

What ever happened to José and Lupita?

Newt Gingrich Launches Ghetto-Language Website

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newt hablo espanol

It seems our favorite conservative politician, Newt Gingrich, has had a change of heart.

Not long ago, he regaled us with the now infamous quote about Spanish being the language of “living in a ghetto.” And now, the former House Speaker is using that same language to make sure Hispanics implement morals and values in our ghettos homes.

Mr. Gingrich this week launched The Americano, a bilingual site “offering a fair and balance perspective on the subjects that touch Hispanic Americans. A place where people can express themselves and learn all about traditional values.”

Ay, ay, ay! Happy Heritage Month, amigos!

Media’s First Order of Business: Learn How to Spell Sotomayor

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Needless to say: my favorite part about American media’s coverage of Sonia Sotomayor’s appointment to the Supreme Court is that very few people seem to get her name right. I mean: not even the L.A. Times, hailing from a city that is, like, 105% Hispanic.

Sotomayer? Sotomoyer? Sotamayor? Sotameyer? The possibilities seem endless (just like Chávez’ anniversary radio show)

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The following story is from the Kansas City Star, which we cannot forgive, especially now that Latinos are starting to take over the place.


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Want more: There’s plenty! Just click here, here or here.

Arizona Business Owner Finds Racism Funny. LOL!

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10011232_bg1This is the stupid “funny” sign posted outside the business of Flash Sharrar, owner of Team Ramco in Yuma, Az. who says is tired of having to turn away Hispanics looking for jobs. He says he is using the word ‘yobs’ because that’s the way we (i.e. Hispanics) pronounce ‘jobs.’

“These people come into our shop like they own the place and then argue with me about getting a job. I figured I would use their language to let them know there are no jobs here,” Mr. Sharrar told the Arizona Republic.

Well, maybe he’d be better off by actually posting a sign in our language, as in Aquí no hay trabajo. But I’m suspecting that would be a bit too much for monolingual Flash (or shall I call him Flach?)