Category: Latin America

Donald Trump Failed to Gather Enough Votes at this Week’s ‘Burro’ Competition in Mexico

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Nobody wanted to vote for poor Donald

Despite the hype — and much anticipation — Donald Trump proved to be a real disappointment this week in Mexico.

And no, I’m not talking about the dimwit who sits in the Oval Office, but of another kind of burro: an adorable donkey who failed to even make it to the finals at the Annual Festival del Burro in Otumba, Mexico.

According to my always reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) Donald Trump was the most hated among the 50 donkeys that took place in the bizarre competition. The reason?

The discomfort towards what Donald Trump represents caused that many attendees to the fair did not even want to vote for him […]

Well, I guess you can say anything about those pesky Mexicans, but they seem to know better when it comes to cast their vote.

Via: Diario 24 Horas

 

Ted Cruz Wants ‘El Chapo’ to Pay for Trump’s Border Wall with his Many, Many Chapo Monies

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I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

The big news this week coming from the always brilliant Republicans is The Chapo Act, a proposal by — who else? — Cuban American dimwit Ted Cruz to have Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán to pay for a border wall.

But why? Well, because you don’t know this but El Chapo has many, many monies; more specifically, $14 billion in what look like beautifully crafted bills featuring his bald mugshot.

Here’s the original tweet sent out earlier this week by Cruz himself, just so you can see how hard it would be to make this sh*t up!

As I asked yesterday, shouldn’t a Chapo Act be an initiative to build tunnels and NOT walls?

But I get it. This is the Trump Administration, so nothing makes any sense anymore and we’re just going to have to go with it.

Take it away Golum!

Univision Preps Series about El Chapo, Because Drug Lords Bring Good Ratings

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Marco de la O is ‘El Chapo’ in Univision upcoming series

It is not a secret that Univision ratings are tanking, and its telenovelas are no longer as popular as they once were. So the gigantic, media company is trying something a bit more risqué: A dramatic series about — what else? — El Chapo, Mexico’s most notorious drug lord, currently serving time (and learning English) in a Brooklyn prison.

The role of El Chapo will be played by Marco de la O, an actor this blogger had never heard of before and one that looks a bit more like a mustachioed version of Jim Carrey, if you asked me.

But I digress. The upcoming series is only the latest example of Hispanic television’s obsession with Latin American drug lords, which might be a pest to society, but provide TV outlets with sweet, coveted ratings.

El Chapo will premiere in the U.S. on Univision on April 23 and this blogger will be watching — of course.

Via: Univision

 

U.S. Post Office Debuts Stamps Featuring Tamales, Sancocho and other Hispanic Delicacies

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The stamps have been designed by artist John Parra

Yo, immigrant haters: I have real bad news for you.

The U.S. Postal Service has confirmed the issuance of a new series of stamps dedicated “to the influence of Central and South American, Mexican and Caribbean foods and flavors on American cuisine,” because, really, if it weren’t for my people (i.e. the Hispanics) you guys would be stuck eating hamburgers and Taco Bell “food.”

So get ready for a smörgåsbord of tamales, flan, empanadas, chiles rellenos, ceviche and sancocho and start licking these suckers!

Via: The Associated Press

Mexico Creates ‘Tequila Cloud’ to Attract German Tourists. Yep.

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This cloud rains tequila, so that more Germans can visit Mexico (or something)

I’m way too busy this week with so-called “real work,” but I just needed to let everybody know that the Mexican government has launched a new tourism campaign that involves a cloud that rains not water but … tequila.

Sí, señor. The campaign — crafted by Lapiz and first demonstrated at a special art exhibit in Berlin — used “ultrasonic humidifiers to vibrate tequila at a frequency that actually turned it into visible mist.” This mist is then condensed into liquid form, which falls as raindrops and basically means you can get your caballito ready, put it under the cloud and drink like there is no mañana. ¡Prost!

The reason behind all this, says the Mexican government, is simple: To tempt rain-soaked Germans to visit sunny Mexico in the dead of winter.

Go figure.

Via: LeoBurnett

El Chapo Is Learning English, and I Have a Few Tips for Him

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As you probably know by now, Mexico’s most notorious Bad Hombre, Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán, is finally serving time on this side of the border, more specifically in a New York City prison that has been described as Brooklyn’s Abu Ghraib.

But if you were the least worried about him, you should know that he’s not only doing well, but, according to Univision, he has even taken up English lessons.

I’m not even sure why anybody living in New York City needs to learn English (last time I checked, everyone around me was Mexican and everything was in damn Spanish!) Besides, I bet his captors/teachers are not precisely Shakespeare scholars, so if my paisano is really serious about this thing, there are a few methods that might help, including the lotería one or this other one by Unforgettable Languages.

However, if everything fails, this blogger would be happy to jump on the subway and personally bring him some additional reading material, starting — perhaps – with my favorite one. 👇🏽

You never know when you’re going to need the extra help, right?

USA vs. Mexico: Who Is Sending their ‘Best’ elsewhere?

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Spring breakers chant ‘Build the Wall’ in Mexico

So much for the Mexican “journalist” who stole Tom Brady’s jersey, got caught and embarrassed an entire nation (this blogger included.)

I would like to turn our attention to this group of young Americans who went to Cancún, got drunk and yelled Build-The-Wall!, Build the Wall! repeatedly… while in — well — Mexico.*

OK, I get your rage, but before you go and vow to kill them all, I’d like for all of us to take a moment and realize that both — Mexico and the U.S. — have our share of morons, starting with the ones leading our respective nations, so really, can anyone blame us for being so obtuse?

I get the rage about the spring breakers, really, but before you go all crazy about them, go read this; then remember the 43 of Ayotzinapa; the blatant violations of human rights in Mexico and the dozens of filthy rich politicians who have vanished in thin air…. Then take a deep breath and maybe you’ll understand. We are all fucked, no matter which side of the border we live in.

Shame on us, really. All of us.

*OK, this happened in Cancún, which is arguably not Mexico anymore, but still…  

Via: SFGate.com

‘Beauty and the Beast’ Mariachi Version, Because Why Not?

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La bella y la bestia con trenzas y trompetas
It was bound to happen.

A mariachi version remake of the famous ballroom scene in Beauty and the Beast quickly became a viral hit, because apparently there is nothing Hispanics love more than seeing their favorite mainstream characters recreated á la mexicana.

The video was first posted by Mitu:

Via: CNET en Español

Mexicans in this Disney-Pixar Trailer Sound a lot like Spaniards

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With much fanfare, Disney-Pixar on Wednesday released the first teaser trailer of Coco, an upcoming animated film about “a 12-year-old aspiring Mexican musician, who embarks on a magical trip in the Land of the Dead.”

While many of the voices in the English-language movie will be done by Mexicans or Mexican American actors (including Gael García Bernal, Anthony Gonzalez and Benjamin Bratt) I couldn’t help but cringe at this other “Spanish” version I found on the Web, one apparently hailing from Spain, which makes all these Mexicans sound a lot like coming out of a Marisol movie.

Coco will hit theaters on November 22, 2017 and you’ll be well advised to watch the English-language trailer in this link and NOT the one below.

Mexicans Are Freaking out about ‘Mexico Is the Shit’ Fashion

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It was bound to happen.

A fashion idea born in Mexico, and crafted by Mexican designer Anuar Layon was meant to show the world (or, more specifically the obtuse Trump administration) that Mexico is… well, the shit (i.e. bien chingón.)

But of course, when you launch an English-language slogan — and movement — in Mexico, you cannot seriously expect everyone to understand exactly what you mean.

See? Not everybody is a European-educated fashion designer down there; so there are some Mexicans who are seriously pissed, thinking that being the shit is something like awful. Take this poor soul who became the butt of the joke Monday night after tweeting the following photo “denouncing” racism at some Mexico City hotel.

So, what the hell is Mexico is the Shit anyhow?

In the words of Layón himself:

It is a tribute to all those mexicans around the world that are shifting global culture with their beautiful hearts and brilliant minds; it’s a way to show that we are many and we are together; that we are raising the standards, reminding the world that our voice matters. “Mexico is the shit” is a community, a support system and a movement inspiring love, respect and trust!

Sure, and also a way for these guys to sell shirts & jackets, which I’m sure cost more than a few bucks. Still, whether you decide to wear one of these things — or not — just chill. Mexico IS the Shit.

Stephen Colbert Calls Mexico about Paying for Trump’s Huge, Beautiful Border Wall

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Stephen Colbert on Friday compiled a team of experts — including an architect, an interior designer and a “concrete guy” — to come up with some rough estimates for Trump’s “big, strong, powerful, yuuuuge” wall.*

After concluding that the wall would have to be at least 100 feet tall, require at least 12,000 skilled laborers and result in roughly 4,800 casualties, Colbert put in a call to the Mexican consulate to see if Mexicans would foot the bill.

Just WATCH:

*Reminder: Trump has about 3 years and 11 months to complete construction if he wants to keep his campaign promise.

 

Mexican Chef Creates $25,000 Taco, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

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How much would you pay for shrimp, caviar, truffle and 24 carat gold flakes stuffed in a corn tortilla?

How about $25,000?

Well, that’s the price of the world’s most expensive taco, a creation of Mexican chef Juan Licerio Alcalá and one no one has ordered — yet.

According to my super secret sources (i.e. Yahoo News,) Licerio, the chef at the ultra luxurious Grand Velas Los Cabos Resort in Baja California, created this thing because he wanted to “think outside the box.”

“People are excited and a little surprised about how you can eat a taco for $25,000 ($497,000 pesos) when you can find one on the street for 10 pesos,” he said.

Well, as a non-wealthy, non-luxurious, taco-loving real Mexican, the explanation is simple: Licerio – and the hotel where he works – cater to a mostly NON-Mexican crowd, the same one that would pay top dollars for a Deluxe Mexican Yoga Mat or a $1,300 Swarovski-embellished Taco Purse. Not my people. I’m sure…

[FACE PALM]

Hat tip: @tropicarlitos

Watch as Vicente Fox Transitions from Being a Local Embarrassment to an International One

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imageI have said this, like a million times before: The only thing worse than our rich, dumb, infantile U.S. president is… Mexico’s rich, dumb, infantile former president.

Vicente Fox, who has jumped to gringo fame of late for his in-your-face defiance of Donald Trump, is (sadly) among the guests of honor of Conan O’Brien’s upcoming Mexico episode.

I will be watching this thing tonight, of course (mostly for Conan *and* Mexico), but I’d like to extend a formal apology in advance to my American friends for this guy, who went from being a local embarrassment to an international one…

Watch as Vicente Fox hands Conan O’Brien a very special pair No Fucking Wall Boots. Click on the photo below to watch video.

boots