Crap! Gringos Discover Our Secret Plan to Take Over: “Invasion By Birth Canal”

U.S. Senators plan to halt ‘invasion by birth canal’ by overturning constitutional guarantee for anyone born on U.S. soil

I told you! It was just a matter of time before somebody found out what we (i.e. immigrants) have been cooking up all these years: Taking over America by birthing lots of little creatures to populate this country.

According to the brilliant, anti-immigrant movement, what America is undergoing right now is a serious case of “Invasion by Birth Canal,” by which “illegal immigrants smuggle themselves into the U.S. to have ‘anchor babies,’” which I can only suppose means babies of people such as Jorge Ramos or María Elena Salinas, right?

[I always knew those two -and some 12 million more- were a sneaky bunch.]

Watch some more about this nonsense below:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Jon Stewart: ‘Anchor Babies’ Sounds Like A New …, posted with vodpod

South Africa, South America, Same Difference…

A picture circulating the Internet shows a screen shot of Chicago TV’s channel WGN-9 during a broadcast of the recent World Cup in South Africa, featuring a map of South America labeled “South Africa.”

I have not been able to find the actual broadcast, but a comments page on Chicago’s News at Nine still shows some viewer’s comments regarding the blunder.

Upon reading about this geographic mistake, I could not help but wonder: in its tireless search for Osama Bin Laden, are Americans looking in the right continent? [I mean, I’m just asking…]

Hat tip: LatinVision

Way Before Shakira Reached Puberty, the Waka Waka Was Called ‘El Negro no Puede’

If you are remotely familiar with Univision and it’s exclusive Spanish-language rights to the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, I’m certain you have heard the now ubiquitous Waka-Waka, a melody everybody wants us to believe was written from scratch by the super famous 33-year old Colombian singer Shakira.

Well… years before the hip-queen even reached puberty, the Waka-Waka was already a sensation, first performed live on Latin American television by the wonderful Las Chicas del Can, under the original title of Waka-Waka: El Negro no puede, freely translated by myself as: Waka-Waka The Black Guy Can’t Get it Up.

So, without further ado, here are both versions. Watch and judge for yourselves…

Which is your favorite Waka-Waka?

Hat tip: Carlitos [manito] Tropical


One More Reason to Root for Mexico in South Africa

Ok, people, if you needed one more reason to root for El Tri at this year’s 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, consider this:

Diego Maradona has promised to run naked through the center of Buenos Aires if Argentina wins the World Cup.

So please, repeat after me: ¡Que gane México! ¡Que gane México!…

In which case, this blogger promises to start eating more sandwiches and spare you the embarrassment of seeing the results.

Who Says God Is ‘Out’?

If you thought you knew everything about soccer and about Argentinian’s passion for the sport and their own God (i.e. Diego Maradona), think again.

This summer, la Iglesia Maradoniana (the Maradona Church) counts 40,000 loyal followers. Their religion is simple: Nuestra religión es el fútbol y como toda religión ha de tener un Dios. (Our religion is soccer, and as such it has to have a God.) …So guess who this God is?

Unfortunately, the church’s Web site has not been translated -yet- into English; but for those of you lucky enough to understand the language of God, I leave you with Diego’s own Our Father:

Diego nuestro que estás en la tierra,
santificada sea tu zurda,
Venga a nosotros tu magia,
háganse tus goles recordar,
así en la tierra como en el cielo.
Danos hoy una alegría en este día,
y perdona aquellos periodistas
así como nosotros perdonamos
a la mafia napolitana.
No nos dejes manchar la pelota
y líbranos de Havelange…

Diego

Mi Casa es tu Casa


My grandmother used to say that la ociosidad es la madre de todos los vicios (Idleness is the mother of all vices.) While no one can ever dispute that, I would like to add a modern twist to her very wise insight: “Unemployment is the mother of all blogs.” (Of course, there’s also my friend Diego who says: “Idleness is the vice of all mothers,” but that’s a whole other story.)

Now that you’ve read this far, I might as well let you know who I am: I am a bilingual, not-yet-acculturated Mexican journalist and editor specialized in media, marketing and advertising. I’ve lived in a bunch of places, including Singapore, Buenos Aires, Mexico City, Paris, Santiago de Chile and New York City.

In my most recent position, I was the founding editor of Marketing y Medios, an English-language trade publication devoted to explaining the Hispanic market to a non-Spanish speaking audience of executives and marketers. I left that company in December of 2006, following its sale to a new owner.

Prior to my wonderful two and a half years there, I was responsible for creating and launching the Spanish-language edition of The Wall Street Journal, as well as coordinating and editing their Spanish-language Web edition at americas.wjs.com. Before joining the Wall Street Journal, I had worked as a reporter and editor for newspapers and magazines in Mexico, Buenos Aires, Santiago de Chile and Los Angeles.

And last but not least, I’d like to add that before graduating with a BA in Journalism at the Escuela de Periodismo Carlos Septien Garcia, in Mexico City, I completed my high-school education at the United World College of South East Asia in Singapore.

Throughout my career, I have developed extensive experience and industry contacts in journalism, marketing, and advertising. I am fluent in English, Spanish and French and have promised myself to take up Mandarin some time soon. You never know.

So bienvenido a mi blog. Welcome to my blog. Mi casa es tu casa or, as my friend Carlitos suggests I’d say, Mi Blog es tu Blog.