You Don’t Need to Dress Like This to Get Ahead

In the latest celebrity/fashion trend, weather woman extraordinaire Jackie Guerrido has launched her own line of jeans, which according to MTVtr3′ Blogamole:

“… are designed for every occasion and for women like me, who work every day to get ahead.”

I think that’s just fantastic, especially because I always thought that to get ahead like Ms. Guerrido you actually had to favor big cleavages, high-heels and very short skirts.

So thanks for the heads up, Jackie… As a woman who works every day to get ahead, I’m just going to slip on my jeans and continue to make things happen! Perhaps a job at Univision is in my near future.

¡Órale! ‘The New York Times’ Wants You to Believe “Ora” is Spanish for “Now”

Carlos Slim is so rich that he is buying Larry King and putting him on the Internet.

Yea, Mexico’s super-archi-recontra-billionaire is the guy behind Ora.TV, an Internet venture that is set “to create high-quality video content on phones, laptops, tablets and connected televisions.”

So far so good, but for some strange reason, The New York Times and several other media are saying -with a straight face- that the word Ora translates to “now” in Spanish and Italian….”  

I’m sorry, but somebody got Mr. Slim all wrong. As a fellow Mexican, I’m sure the reporters asked him some question, and he replied with a typical “¡ora, ora! ¡no me pregunten esas cosas!” or some stuff like that.

So worry no more, Mr. Slim. I will help you get the record straight on this side of the border. So perhaps in exchange you can get Mi blog es tu blog a little part on your network?  I’d call it the ¡Órale! network.

Awesome Mexican Stuff For Sale on Sears.com

As soon as AdAge.com revealed this week a list of some of the filthiest items still on sale at Sears.com, this blogger promptly scourged the site for a peak at some Mexican-themed products -filthy or not.

Here are some of the awesome (non-filthy) things I found:

-A $38.20 “Mexican Boy Set” by Dress Up America

-A $28 “Mexican Girl Set” (cheaper than the boy, of course) also by Dress Up America

-A $19.95 wall clock featuring guitars, mariachis and pyramids

-A $147.45 Marella Mexican sombrero-themed pasta pack

-A $9.80 Mexican chile Yogi Tea

And these are only a few under the Mexican category… Don’t get me started on “Hispanic” merchandise.

Sadly, McDonald’s Denies Being Behind Awesome Stop & Frisk Meal Giveaway

UPDATE: Predictably (i.e. sadly) McDonald’s denied being behind this awesome idea. This blogger continues to urge the NYPD to launch such an effort and include Mexican fare in their meal offering (I mean, in case the stopped and frisked happen to be Latinos.)

Oh, how I wished this was true!

In a move to show the world the ridiculousness of racial profiling African-Americans, a website claiming to be associated with McDonald’s has launched the Three Strikes, You’re In!, a program that “rewards New Yorkers for their patience with the “Stop and Frisk” policy.”

Per a release:

[…] Individuals who are stopped and released three times without charge are eligible for one Happy Meal™ at participating McDonald’s stores. To receive their Happy Meal™, customers must record each stopping officer’s badge number, as well as the the time and location of the stop, on a voucher obtainable at these stores.

This “effort” is too ridiculous (and brilliant) to be true. However, this blogger thinks it’s actually not a bad idea at all. And given the fact that many victims of NYPD’s Stop & Frisk program are also Hispanics, I would like to encourage the NYPD to put it into place and actually expand their meal offering to include Chipotle or Taco Bell. (I’m sure many of my fellow Latinos would looooove to be given the option of a free burrito or a free torta.)

Farmer Frank Martinez Loves Growing Potatoes for McDonald’s. Eats them Raw

Meet Frank Martínez (alas, not a relative,) a potato grower from Saddle View Farms, WA, who thinks his potatoes are much better after they get peeled, chopped, fried and chemically manipulated by McDonald’s. (Presumably because he has a tendency to bite into raw potatoes, which have got to taste pretty bad.)

Mr. Martínez is one of several real-life suppliers featured in one of McDonald’s latest U.S. ad campaigns.

Go on. Watch him bite into a raw potato. Right. Now!

Oh No, They Didn’t! Taco Bell Preps the Dori-Taco

All this blah, blah, blah about being bicultural, bilingual, living in two worlds, etc. has finally resulted in something tangible –and most likely inedible. Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Tacos promise to bring us the best of both worlds: a “taco” on the inside… Doritos on the outside*

How can you go wrong with that?

via: Gizmodo

*CAUTION: Customers might be required to wear latex gloves when handling this “thing” 

Gorton’s Launches Spanish-language Site to Pitch Tits and Other Delicious Seafood Treats

UPDATE: It is rare for a marketer to come forward and admit they have made a mistake. But that is exactly what Gorton’s did. Not only did the company add the missing accent over “mamas,” but it sent a very nice email thanking this blog for pointing out the mistake. Scroll down to the end of the post to read the complete email:

I love it when marketers go out of their way and launch Spanish-language web sites to reach my people (i.e. Hispanics.)

But just one little thing. If you are going to be as rigorous as Gorton’s Seafood, which seems to be pretty good at putting accents and including “eñes” in their Spanish-language copy, you might want to make sure to put a little accent over the word “mamás” … I mean, if what you mean is to talk about moms (mamás) and not what some dirty minds (not mine) might be thinking of.

FROM 02/16/2012.

Dear Ms. Martinez,

Thank you so much for alerting us to the error that was included on our recently launched website,GortonsEnEspanol.com. We are very sorry for the omission of that accent in the headline. As you noted, we did work diligently to be rigorous about our translation. Though we used a Spanish translation service, and had Spanish-speaking staff members review the site before it was launched, this typo was somehow overlooked. We truly regret the error and sincerely apologize to you and to any of our consumers who may have been offended.

The error has been fixed and we are once more reviewing the site to ensure accurate translation of the intended message. It is our goal to do the right thing and to always put our consumers first. 

While we worked quickly to fix the error, we still feel badly about it. Sometimes even when you give things your best effort mistakes still happen. But, as a thank you for alerting us to the issue we would like to send you a little something. If you’d like to send us your mailing address we can get it out to you right away.

Again, our sincere apologies and heartfelt thanks,

The Gorton’s Crew

The Gorton’s Crew
Gorton’s Seafood

A Valentine’s Gift That Will Make Your Girlfriend Wrap Her Legs -Not Arms- Around Your Neck

The creators of the Partner ES900, a portable translator that would seduce your girlfriend into opening her legs, are back at it, with a new marketing blitz pitching the device as the sole “linguistic method” that would make your girl wrap her legs -and not her arms- around your neck. [Click photo to enlarge.]

This piece first appeared in New York’s El Diario la Prensaproving once again that a good marketer knows her market well.

Denny’s Wants you to Think of Dogs When You Eat a Delectable Sizzling Skillet

And speaking of innovative marketing ideas, Denny’s has decided it is a good idea to link dogs with a sizzling meat fajita.

In what this blogger considers a marketing –and gastronomical– faux pas (I grew up eating tacos al pastor outside my local subway station) the restaurant chain has tapped famous dog behavioralist César Millán (aka ‘The Dog Whisperer’) to help a Latino family deal with an extremely “aggressive” meal, a Western Beef Sizzling Fajita thing.

I don’t know you, but after enduring watching the 3-minute thing, I felt like getting myself a veggie meal. I do not want to think of dogs when I see a sizzling fajita. Or viceversa.

But watch it yourselves and let me know what you think!

Target Thinks Diversity is Awesome. Introduces ‘Bodega’ to Sell Hispanics Cheap Stuff

Please tell me I am delirious or suffering from some kind of exhaustion-fueled maladie and none o this is true.

Turns out some great marketing mind over at Target Stores has come up with the Bullseye Bodega, offering not only online coupons, but heavily “discounted items in a store-within-a-store.”

Click here for a hilarious video review by the folks over at LatinoRebels.

So now you know.

You’re Hispanic and don’t shop at the Bullseye Bodega? Shame on you!

 

New Latino Dating Site Wants to Hook You Up With a ‘Sexy Culo Latino’

It had been a while since anybody pitched this blogger such a juicy, sexy -and sexual- new venture, so I was ecstatic to hear LatinDating is up and running.

I have no idea who Jim, Laura, Helen and Maria are, but given the carefully-crafted copy on the homepage, I can tell you they know a thing or two about Google search analytics, using words like culo, sexy, Latina, free, sex, etc. in no particular order, and following no grammatical rules whatsoever.

Ay, caramba!

 

AhorroCel Prices are so Low, You’ll Be as Surprised as Finding Out Your Son is ‘Maricón’

Mexican cell phone distributor AhorroCel wants you to know their low prices are so AWESOME that you’ll be as surprised as finding out your son is a maricón

I’m warning you, people, if you -or someone you know- has ever come across a maricón, this video is almost sure to go viral in 10….9….8…7…6………..

Hat tip: Who else? Ricardo Trejo