‘Despacito’ Makes it to ‘Conan’, and I’m Losing my Mind ‘Poquito a Poquito’

While y’all were busy reporting on the latest tweets of our Commander in Chief, Luis Fonsi paid a visit to Conan O’Brien, because life is determined to drive me crazy poquito a poquito…

I don’t know you, but if the creators of the “smashing hit” have their way, I will end up very soon in a mental institution or — better yet — chopping my head off so I don’t have to hear THAT THING EVER AGAIN.

Via: Luis Fonsi/Instagram

Argentine Priest Blesses Flock with ‘Despacito,’ Because there’s no God and we’re all Going to Hell

We are going to hell… Despacito

It was only a few days ago I wrote about gringo media discovering the craze of Despacito, the first Spanish-language U.S. No. 1 hit since Macarena.

Well, get ready for more Despacito-infused news: A priest at a local church in Córdoba, Argentina, has decided to give his dominical sermon a Fonsi-Daddy-Yankee spin, by making attendees chant and dance to the tune of  — what else? — Despacito!

The reason? Simply because THE END is near and we’re all going to hell. (Despacito, but we’re on our way.)

JUST WATCH:

Via: Televisa

Mainstream Media Discovers ‘Despacito,’ so Here Goes…

Now that The Atlantic and other VPM (Very Prestigious Media) decided to write about the “amazing phenomenon” that Despacito is, this blogger had no choice but to acknowledge the whole thing and give Luis Fonsi and his peeps a well-deserved space on this venerable blog, because, truth be told, I have NOT stopped dancing to this damn thing for, like, weeks!

Anyhow, just a couple of things before you venture here.

First, watch the original “Spanish”-language version (below.) Then, move onto an improbable version featuring none other than Justin Bieber (yeah, don’t ask, but he’s pretty good saying “manuscrito” in Spanish.) Last — but not least — watch this blogger’s favorite Italian people filming in real time their own LOVE-HATE relationship with this damn thing!

Ready? ENJOY!

WAIT. DID ANYBODY SAY JUSTIN BIEBER?

WHAT’S WITH THESE LATIN AMERICAN PEOPLE?

‘Beauty and the Beast’ Mariachi Version, Because Why Not?

La bella y la bestia con trenzas y trompetas
It was bound to happen.

A mariachi version remake of the famous ballroom scene in Beauty and the Beast quickly became a viral hit, because apparently there is nothing Hispanics love more than seeing their favorite mainstream characters recreated á la mexicana.

The video was first posted by Mitu:

Via: CNET en Español

Trump’s Sexist Remarks are not Even Suitable for ‘Reggaeton’

trumppromoreggaeton

And just because it’s only a few hours (YES, HOURS!) before this circus election is finally over… I give you el reggaetrump, a 30-second explainer on how the Republican candidate’s remarks about women are waaaay worse than those of your regular reggaetonero.

This blogger loathes both, the candidate *and* reggaeton, but el reggaetrump makes a great point… Besides, it was crafted by two very creative Mexicans: my buddies Paco Olavarrieta (Dieste) and Carlos Maya (Mixto Music) who have earned a permanent spot in this blog’s “Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us” archives.

WARNING: The following video contains language suitable only for the Trump types and NSWF, so if you prefer to watch a CENSURED version, go here.

(Props also go to Ornella Poumián for the amazing illustrations.)

This Music Video Beautifully Sums Up the Whole Sean Penn-Kate-El Chapo Brouhaha

Screen Shot 2016-05-18 at 3.26.49 PM

This blogger has been super busy with tons of parties work taking place this week, so it’s always good to keep getting tips from my dozens millions of indefatigable followers.

So, without further ado, I give you Me faltó decirle, a brand new music video by Conjunto Amanecer featuring JEAN FENN and KATY DE LA TORRE, friends of the one and only Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán.

¡Bravo, bravo!

Hat tip: @tropicarlitos

I Don’t Know you, but I’ll be Meeting with La Migra in April

IMG_4965

Awww, New York City! — home of Mariachi SantasDominican sushi and life-size cardboard mariachis — is now proud to introduce you to La Migra, a Mexico-based norteño band that promises to rock your world on Friday April 8 in The Bronx.

According to a promo that has been plastered all over my neighborhood, La Migra will be soon playing at El Palenque, and the venue promises to let everybody in. Yes, EVERYBODY WILL BE ALLOWED TO COME IN.

Are you listening, Border Patrol?

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem 2016

The Bernie Sanders Corrido Will Have you Feel ‘El Quemazón’

quemazon

What better way to show your love for Bernie Sanders than writing a song about feeling the burn … in Spanish?

That’s exactly what Grupo La Meta has done. The Mexican-American band from Modesto, California, has written El Quemazón, an homage to the Bernie Sanders, so that my people can also “Feel the Bern.”

He’s the man with a vision to better this country […] He’s running for president but the rich don’t want him. Bernie Sanders is his name. Now you’re going to feel his burn.

¡Ajúa!

Via: Adrián Carrasquillo

This Latino Is Going to Vote for Trump –and Make you Get up and Salsa

Ruben-Obed-MartinezRubén Obed Martínez (luckily not related to this blogger) likes Donald Trump so much, that he will not only vote for him, but he has written an extremely catchy song that will surely make you get up and dance.

Bloggers’s Note: I hate salsa as much as I despise Trump, but must admit this thing is infinitely better than the crappy anti-trump-Estefan-music-Mexican-thing.

Watch. Get up. Move el bote. Repeat.

Move Over, Celine Dion, Mexico ‘Titanic’ Theme is Way Cooler

Titanic-3D-Movie

If you thought Mexican musicians were only good to cover the likes of Michael Jackson and such, think again.

This awesome pair has come up with a brand new rendition of El Titani, which apparently is “Mexican” for The Titanic and is rightly dedicated to some girl called Jazmín.

Be ready to [slightly] cover your ears and enjoy.

Oh, and just in case you don’t remember how the “original” went, here you go. And please don’t even dare arguing with me about which one is best.

This is the Only ’50 Shades of Grey’ Thing Worth Watching

50 Shades of Grey becomes 'Vieja lujuriosa' thanks to the always awesome Tres Tristes Tigres
’50 Shades of Grey’ becomes ‘Vieja lujuriosa’ thanks to the always awesome Tres Tristes Tigres. ¡Ajúa!

Thank God for Mexico’s Los Tres Tristes Tigres, who will always make the unbearable not only bearable but just awesome!

I’m sorry for the English-only crowd, the lyrics of this 50 Shades of Grey (aka Vieja Lujuriosa) are simply delicious.

Enjoy!