Category: Stupid propositions

Pope Francis’ ‘Telemundo Innovation Award’ Is Brought to you by Best Western Hotels

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Vatican PopeRemember Pope Francis winning Telemundo’s first “Innovation Award for “his innovative use of social media?”

Well, the actual award ceremony is finally upon us, and this weekend poor Pope Francis will welcome a contingent of Hispanic executives and “bloggers” at the Vatican for the occasion.

Among the visitors is Manny Ruiz (aka @PapiBlogger,) founder of Hispanicize, an annual gathering of Hispanic bloggers and entertainers that can be more accurately described as an in-your-face-shameless-parade of brands. And as such, the 9-day-Vatican vacation “historic journey” would not be possible without the generous support of sponsors and brands, which promise to be at the center of the whole thing.

According to @PapiBlogger himself:

While in Rome – and Italy in general – we will be generously hosted and accommodated by our official hotel partner Best Western.  Over the course of the next 9 days, we will document this historic journey and all of our adventures, history and travel insights through social media using the hashtags #HispzInRome and #ViajaConBW.

[…] May this trip be as large a blessing to our Latino community as it will be to us that will get to meet Pope Francis.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll spend my weekend praying for Jorge Bergoglio. If you want to join me, feel free to use the hashtag #PrayingForBergoglio.

Mexican Government Responds to Trump’s Taco Bowl by Producing a 3-Minute Video about Tacos

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¡Tómala Trumpo!
¡Tómala Trumpo!

On the heels of the now infamous Taco-Bowl Trump brouhaha, the Mexican Government has decided to address the insult by going into full-on diplomacy mode and doing what it does best: Investing a ton of money on a three-minute video about … tacos.

Because… Mexico.

Filing this under #Diplomacy #Politics #Tacos and #StupidPropositions

New Mexican Restaurant in Harlem Features a $17 Tostada Appetizer, Because Why Not?

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“Oso: Our prices are not as minimalist as our decor”

Awww, the wonders of gentrification!

I remember when you could just go have a simple, no-frills, $1 taco around my neighborhood. But these days the Hamilton Heights-West Harlem area is rapidly filling up with posh, mostly unaffordable “ethnic” places, catering to a mostly non-ethnic crowd who has realized living uptown is not that awful after all.

Take Oso, a recently opened Mexican restaurant on Amsterdam Avenue, whose menu would be simply awesome (or should I say Ósom?) if the currency of its plates were in pesos and not dollars.

Take the “platos ligeros” or appetizers (below.) I mean, really? I don’t want to have to get a job in Wall Street to be able to afford a tostada. Give me a break, man.

tostada

Donald Trump’s Taco Bowl Tweet Brouhaha Proves Humanity [and Very Likely this Blog] Is Doomed

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TheDonald

I seriously don’t know what’s worse, if Donald Trump tweeting a photo of himself on Cinco de Mayo eating a Taco Bowl (whatever that is) to say he loves Hispanics or the avalanche of serious, “investigative news pieces” from “real journalists” attempting to get to the bottom of things.

Seriously, what’s there to get to the bottom of? That the disgusting Walled-Taco-Thing was purchased in a cafe instead of restaurant? That Trump really didn’t tweet that thing today, because he’s in another city?

Man,I miss that time when stuff like this belonged to my stupid blog and not the realm of “investigative journalism.”

Hit them, Adam Weinstein

 

See? Even the GOP Knows Mexicans Speak Perfect English Before Crossing the U.S. Border

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mike-pape

Mike Pape, a Republican dude running for Kentucky’s first Congressional district, has released a new TV ad featuring what he thinks are Latino immigrants, complete with Mario Bros.-like mustaches and fake accents.

In the :30 TV spot (below) three men, presumably undocumented immigrants attempting to cross the border into the U.S., are running to a fence and cutting through it when they reveal their very specific political plans: To help stop Donald Trump and Ted Cruz but also Pape himself, because he’s going to help those two build a wall and repeal Obamacare and stuff.

The whole thing is so hilarious it’s hard to be offended. In fact, my favorite part of this whole thing are the English subtitles, because — in case you haven’t noticed — these guys are actually SPEAKING ENGLISH!

So, WTF Señor Pape? Get your caca together, man!

WATCH. CRINGE. DO NOT REPEAT.

Via: Think Progress

British TV Producers Punish Peruvian Tribe by Sending a Bunch of White, Disrespectful Teenagers

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‘Ethan and Alex are sent to Peru to live with the Ashaninka tribe for crimes of laziness and being spoilt’

What to do with lazy, spoilt, disrespectful teenagers who do nothing but play video games all day long?

Send them to Peru, of course!

That is basically the premise of Tribal Teens, a reality TV show hailing form England that sends entitled little brats to live in “dire conditions” and face “life-changing challenges” in some of the world’s most remote tribes.

Among these are the Ashaninka indians in the Peruvian Amazon, who for some screwed up reason ended hosting not only these spoiled, disrespectful teens, but an army of television producers, cameramen, make-up artists, etc., etc.

Seriously, dude. What did the Ashaninka do to deserve this punishment? Can somebody please fill me in?

Salma Hayek to Star as a Lesbian Taco in Upcoming Movie, Because Hollywood

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sausage

Hold on to your sombreros!

If you thought Hollywood was running out of awesome ideas, think again. Coming this summer to a movie theatre near you is The Sausage Party, an “adult animated film with talking food,” starring Seth Rogen as Frank, a sausage who lives in a supermarket waiting to be chosen. Yep.

But because American supermarkets — and dinner tables — would be nothing without my people (i.e. Flaming Hot Mexicans,) The Sausage Party also stars Mexican bombshell Salma Hayek who will play the role of — what else? — a Lesbian taco. (Don’t ask.)

It’s a pity no more Mexicans have been cast, since I would have enjoyed a kitchen scene of horny jumping beans. But maybe that’s in store for the 2017 sequel: The Chorizo Fiesta

Anyhow, here’s a trailer of this thing, alas, sans lesbian tacos:

Hat tip: London correspondent 

JOB ALERT: Cinco de Mayo Ass Models Needed in Miami

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Anybody?
Anybody?

Awwww, America: The land of the free, home of the brave — and the Milwaukee Taco Fest — is also the place to go to advance your career.

Take the above job opportunity hailing from — where else? — Florida, where some dude needs to hire 4 women for an adult business Cinco de Mayo event. Required are two “promo models” and two “ass models,” who will be paid $420/hr and $250/hr, respectively, for the gig. Ladies must be “fun, friendly and not uptight,” so boring, unfriendly and anxious señoritas, please refrain.

I don’t know about you, but I’m super interested in this thing, so I’m off to polish my… resume.

Let’s see if I can finally make some money off my Latin talents.

I will keep you posted.

Pope Francis Wins ‘First-ever Telemundo Innovation Award’ — for some Reason

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sombrero Pope Francis

Today in awkward, Hispanic-related news…

Pope Francis is the proud recipient of the first-ever Telemundo Innovation Award, which was conceived by Telemundo to honor an individual innovator “whose work has explored new trends, showcased pioneering spirit and greatly impacted society.”

According to a very long press release, Pope Francis was chosen for his “innovative approach to redefining religion in a social and digital world.” This, I’m sure, has to do with the fact that he just joined Instagram (better late than never) and has, like, six Twitter accounts (who has the time?)

Anyhow, I thought you’d also like to know that this very important award was announced during an equally paramount event: Hispanicize 2016, taking place in — where else? — Miami.

¡Ay dios mío!

Via Broadcasting & Cable

 

As Part of Ongoing Effort to Compete with New York, San Francisco Does Decent Tacos

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Ce6IeUsVAAEvk1w

I am not going to go into the whole East-Coast-Tacos-Are-Better-Than-California-Tacos-Controversy-Thing….

But, Tania González this week took this blogger to El Pato, a Downtown San Francisco joint serving pretty decent tacos: I spotted corn tortillas, chicken tinga, carne asada, refried beans, home-made salsa and more. (Heck, I even had an agua de sandía)

I still have to explore the real San Francisco, but judging from what I’ve seen so far, I can only say one thing: Not bad.

Waldenbuch-Based Ritter Sport Introduces Tortilla Chips Chocolate Because Why the Hell Not?

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¡Guácala!
¡Guácala!

I have never been to Waldenbuch, Germany, but I’m sure it’s a city teeming with creative people thinking out of the German box.

Take the Ritter Sport chocolate factory, which is pulling all its marketing strings to pitch its latest concoction: the Knusper Tortilla Chips Chocolate, which I’m not really able to describe to you, because these tricky people had the brilliant idea of explaining everything in German.

However, I was able to get a hold of a video, where you can see a bunch of German tortilla chips happily march to their German chocolate dead.

Hat tip: Marco Principato

Univision Launches Dolls Inspired by Univision’s Latin Beauty Pageant, because Univision

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dollsfinal

Move over, Mexican Barbie! Here come Nuestra Belleza Latina-inspired dolls, Univision’s latest marketing effort to celebrate the 10th anniversary of its very own Latin beauty pageant.

The six dolls — Dulce, Yaritza, Sol, Niki, Odalys and Paola —have all been inspired by the “diverse and compelling stories of Latinas,” which as you know are all very diverse, despite having the exact same measurements.

This beauties are available in either evening gown or swim suit via Amazon, LatinaGirlPower.com and “several Hispanic grocery store chains,” which I assume are those same stores where you can buy Hispanic cheese, Hispanic lettuce, Hispanic chips, etc.

 

In Light of Current Political Climate, Telemundo Hires Don Francisco as Senior News Correspondent

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DonF

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Almost one year after announcing his departure from Univision, the septuagenarian TV host Mario Kreutzberger, aka Don Francisco, is making a comeback to Hispanic media. Oh, and it’s quite the comeback.

Telemundo on Tuesday announced it signed a multi-year agreement with Don Francisco, which includes “the creation of a joint production company to develop and produce original content and formats for Hispanics in the United States and audiences around the world, across multiple platforms.” But, perhaps more importantly, Telemundo says, Kreutzberger will bring his expertise to Telemundo Network News as a special senior news correspondent.

Come to think of it, this is actually quite perfect, given the circus that the current political campaign has become.

I can only hope El Chacal de la Trompeta will come back too and put the presidential candidates in place when they would just Not. Shut. The. Hell. Up.

To be continued…