Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
In need for a quicky but fear contracting COVID-19?
Worry not! The owners of this fine Mexico City establishment have properly sanitized their rooms so that you can ejaculate with full confidence.
Filing under Mexican Entrepreneurship
Hat tip: Alessandro Vedinni on Twitter
Apparently, White King’s steamed white cake mix is very popular in South East Asia; and it can be yours for only $2.99 in Amazon.com. I can only guess how popular -or not- it will become among Spanish-speakers. Who will be the first to take the challenge?
It’s already that time of the year when –not content with punishing this blogger with a pandemic, a white supremacist attempted coup, frigid temperatures *and* plenty avocado-hipster nonsense– the people behind Avocados From Mexico are once again reminding me of the upcoming, pandemic Super Bowl –and all I need to know about gringo guacamole.
Enter the 2021 Avocados From Mexico’s Guac Bowl, a “digital experience” where people obsessed with avocados can learn all sorts of things, including how to keep their avocados fresh longer for game day, and get rewards from buying avocados and other weird stuff.
Hosted by Troy Aikman and sportscaster Erin Andrews, the Guac Bowl digital experience also offers participants the chance to win “limited-time only avocado gear and weekly prizes of $1,000, as well as the opportunity to enter to win the grand prize of $1 million.”
Avocado gear? Yes, you read that right: Avocado gear is a thing and it’s just as ridiculous as you can imagine.
And no, I’m not making any of this up. Go ahead, read all about it right here. Now if y’all excuse me, I’ll go get drunk.
After urging people to stay home, wear a mask, keep a safe distance from others and avoid going on vacation, Mexico’s coronavirus czar, Hugo López-Gatell, decided to take a maskless beach vacation in Oaxaca, prompting a wave of criticisms among Mexicans and later becoming the nation’s butt of the joke.
A series of photos published this weekend show Dr. López-Gatell seated at an outdoor bar with a female companion in the tourist-friendly beach of Zipolite, Oaxaca. Neither is wearing a mask. Another photo, taken a few days earlier on a crowded flight from Mexico City to the beach resort, López-Gatell is seen talking on a cellphone — again not wearing a mask. The photos quickly went viral on social media.
While the politician’s beach escapade sparked anger, naturally, it also gave rise to some hilarious memes and images that continued to light the Internet well into the new year, because when it comes to quick, witty Internet humor, Mexico sigue siendo el rey.
Here are some of my favorite reactions to López-Gatell’s beach escapade.
— Museo Mexicano de Internet (@MuseoMexicano) January 5, 2021
Hoy, en la conferencia de Gatell: pic.twitter.com/VCLkO8khti
— LuisValLe® Tu desconocido favorito. (@LuisValLeAnaya) January 4, 2021
-¡Ya te vi HDLV! pic.twitter.com/8wdoINsClu
— LuisValLe® Tu desconocido favorito. (@LuisValLeAnaya) January 4, 2021
Ok I didn’t see *this* coming.
On the morning of Dec. 15, as I opened up my email account, I saw a message from Twitter with the following Subject: Your Twitter account has been locked.
My first reaction was –of course– W T F? ¿Qué chingaos hice? and started going through several possible scenarios.
Was it because of my multiple tweets mocking President Trump for having retweeting me once? Or perhaps, someone really important at the New York Times finally blew the whistle on my ongoing critique of their peas-in-guacamole recipe? (Let alone my Twitter bio.) Or…was it a collective denunciation by all those people whom I asked to DELETE THEIR ACCOUNT for not knowing how to eat tamales or make enchiladas?
Well, it was none of that.
What it was, according to Twitter, was punishment for having violated the Twitter Rules, specifically for “Violating our rules against promoting or encouraging suicide or self-harm.”
Self harm? Me? Tweeting about… self harm? Promoting or encouraging suicide? Perhaps, I thought, they misread something I tweeted about ham, not harm. But then I kept scrolling to find the offending tweet, which was not even an original tweet but a response to someone else’s retweet.
Here’s what happened.
On December 13, Montana legislator and former congressional candidate Tom Winter, tweeted his outrage about a piece of news that made a lot of people very angry (me included.)
White House staffers get the vaccine ahead of healthcare workers and my grandma? Are you fucking kidding me? https://t.co/AmsrBKjRm5
— Tom Winter (@WinterForMT) December 13, 2020
I do not follow Winter on Twitter, but my buddy @dcbigjohn does, and this is why I saw the tweet to begin with. My response was brief and as you can see below, it was SUPPOSED TO BE IRONIC.
I guess the Twitter algorithm (assuming it was an algorithm and not a bunch of weird MAGA bots) doesn’t understand irony and doesn’t understand that in all the years I’ve spent on Twitter I have never (not once) promoted or encouraged self-harm. Heck, I’ve even been warning people about avocado hand like forever!
I guess I will remain in Twitter jail until Twitter decides to read up and weigh my appeal. In the meantime, the president of the United States continues to tweet unsubstantiated allegations of fraud and tons of misleading information to millions of people, while my beloved followers will have to live without my very important posts (VIPs) about tacos, tamales, enchiladas and other extremely important virus-related musings.
On the bright side, it has been moving to know there is a massive movement to bring me back: Thank you Le Chanclé for start stirring the pot, and to all of my friends showing concern.
I just learned that @miblogestublog has been blocked by @Twitter for 12 hours. I wish they would do that to people who truly deserved to be blocked or removed from the platform… pic.twitter.com/pyuGmMMBvP
— Le Chanclé (@lechancle) December 15, 2020
I’m totally fine, so fine I’ll even starting happy hour earlier than usual. I hope to see y’all soon on Twitter.
In the meantime…
A couple of years ago, Austin, TX correspondent, Sara Inés Calderón, spotted this on Stassney & S Congress Avenue, so this blogger had to go dig deeper into the meaning of “y más.”
And do I have news for y’all! According to an inexplicably long press release:
CVS “truly understands that Hispanic customers are looking for a more personalized shopping experience where they can find their favorite brands at competitive prices, convenient services, and a higher level of customer service in an envirorment [SIC] where they feel at home.”
They even have their own Website and this week opened a bunch of new outlets in New Jersey and New York.
Besides several typos, I couldn’t find a mention of tacos in this whole thing, so I’m NOT interested.
NEXT!
Remember Old El Paso?
Well, the General Mills’ owned brand is back in the news, now with the launch of “Tortilla Pockets Kits,” because apparently their target consumers are too dumb to eat a regular taco made with real tortillas.
Tortilla Pockets, say their creators, “are sealed at the bottom to offer a mess-free solution at mealtimes and are ideal for a quick bite on the go.” And, no, this is not a joke. They’re already on sale in England and Australia.
Oh and “food” writers and editors seem to totally dig them!
“Eating tacos is a precarious business. After years of practise, few of us have perfected the fine art of filling a taco and getting it into our mouths without losing half of it to the floor,” writes Erina Starkey, a restaurant and news editor in Australia, which -granted- is not really known for its Mexican gastronomy. “The nifty pocket design provides a perfect cup for filling up with mince, cheese and salad so you never have to worry about dry-cleaning those salsa stains again.”
¡Ay, Erina!
Via: Delicious.com.au / Hat tip: Lone Star Vegan
I don’t know who needs to hear this but Fitz Games has launched a party game targetting Latinos (or, as they like to call them now, the Latinx community.)
Called ¡Dios Mío! the game comes on the heels of other creations targetting specific groups, including “The Queer Agenda,” for the LGBTQ community and “The Chosen One,” for Jewish people.
According to Fitz Games, “¡Dios Mio!” is “a Latino Cards Against Humanity,” specifically designed with Latinx people in mind. It includes 420 cards, which are fully bilingual, and a series of additional packs to make your game more “picante.” Among said additions? Cuban, Puertorriqueña and Sucias.
¿Sucias? I I have one thing to say: ¡Ay Dios Mío!
Via: Hola magazine
As if I needed another reason to despise Elon Musk, the annoying mogul has officially launched Teslaquila, a Tesla-branded liquor that can be yours for “only” $250.
The first time I heard of Teslaquila was back in April 2018, because it was supposed to be an April Fool’s Day joke about the automaker filing for bankruptcy. But Musk being Musk this thing is here now, making it yet one more hideous 2020 surprise.
Via: Tesla.com
I’m sorry to inform you Totino’s has released “mozzarella cheese bites coated with Takis Fuego seasoning,” because 2020 really, really hates me.
These “poppable” rolls feature a mozzarella-like filling and can be found at the frozen aisle of most major supermarkets for “only” $5 each.
Now if y’all excuse me, I’m going back to bed and try to wake up in 2021.
Say what you will about my people; we’re the awesomest bunch and all…
Even Google Translate knows that the best translation for “Dulce de leche” is caramel, but oh well…
Not content with having desecrated tacos, quesadillas and the like, Taco Bell has its eyes on destroying yet another one of this blogger’s favorite things: Alcoholic beverages.
Turns out the ubiquitous American “food” chain is launching Jalapeño Noir, a new red wine to pair with your Cheesy Chalupa, because… WHY THE HELL NOT?
Fortunately for this blogger, this thing is only being released in Canada and is tied to Taco Bell Canada’s introduction of the new Toasted Cheesy Chalupa [don’t ask.] Per an unnecessarily long press release: “The new chalupa variation features six-month aged sharp cheddar cheese toasted onto the iconic chalupa shell to create a crispy blanket of flavour and texture” which should pair well with “notes of wild strawberry, cherry and beetroot in this silky limited-edition red wine.”
OK, pinche 2020, make it stop now!
I’m going to need some help here… Anybody?
If you have been paying attention, you’ll know by now that Latinos understand things better if they come in the form of music, whether it is to inform us about the perils of coronavirus; to let us know how great things would be under Bernie Sanders or how disappointed my people are with Donald Trump.
And so in keeping with the tradition, the Biden campaign has released the Todos con Biden salsa, a 3:30 minute long Spanish-language song with some “inspirational” words to help pitch the message of abuelito Joe among my people (i.e. The Latinos). Performed by Ander DeFrank (aka El Negro que Canta) the song kicks off by telling us that a Biden presidency will restore the nation by doing several things, including extending access to education and put an end to detention centers at the border, among many others.
For the monolingual, the chorus goes kind of like this…
Biden, Biden is the safe road
Let’s walk together, hand in hand
All for one, one and for all
Biden, Biden
Biden is a serious, honest and trustworthy man…
You get the drill. Now WATCH (if you can endure the 3-plus minutes of this thing; I’m off to make myself a drink.)
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 