Death was the subject around this year’s AHAA’s conference, which kicked off Wednesday night with a scary opening reception at the Crown Plaza Hotel in Times Square. Under the provocative title “Is Hispanic Advertising Dead?” more than 500 ad and media executives were in town to discuss a little bit of everything; from the eternal debate of English vs. Spanish to the death of the 30-second commercial.

This blogger has been busy not only mingling and partying but also doing some not-so-serious reporting; and though I still haven’t found anybody in a compromising or shady situation (we still have tonight’s Awards Show) here are some highlights:

–Edoardo Chavarín, the brilliantly funny founder of NaCo, delivered an engaging keynote address to formally open the conference Thursday morning. Chavarín spoke to a mostly bilingual, bicultural audience about what moves him and where he gets inspiration for his hilarious T-shirts designs. Despite the audience’s best laughs, I’m still not sure everybody understood the references to Amado Carrillo or grasped the real meaning of Chimengüenchón, Chido One and Pipiris Nais. In any case, the conference co-chairman, Aldo Quevedo, smartly pointed out that Mr. Chavarín’s humor is not easily palatable for Politically-correct America.

–Tom McGarrity, the former Univision co-president of network sales, attended the Telemundo-sponsored luncheon on Thursday. Out of his traditionally impeccable suits, he was casually dressed when I spotted chatting with Steve Mandala. Both execs laughed at my suggestion / recommendation that Mr. McGarrity should replace Mr. Mandala as the sales chief of Telemundo. (Not a bad idea when you think about it).

–Despite my rantings about Spanish-language television, Telemundo served me lunch, just like everybody else! (Thank you!)

–Univision scored big points with this blogger for a fun-filled evening at Madam Tussauds Museum House of Wax, where I had a fantastic time in the company of Larry King, Jlo and Woody Allen. (All of them seemed to be very engaged in my conversation, as none uttered a word back at me.)

–English is not coming to your Univision screens any time soon. The network’s CEO, Joe Uva, made it clear Friday morning that the company “is 110% committed to Spanish-language.”

–From the always smart Isaac Mizrahi (not the designer, but the Brazil-born multicultural director from Sprint: “Hispanic advertising is not dead. What is dead is the low hanging fruit and the easy dollar [to be made from this market].”

–The conference is still on, closing tonight with the 9th annual Advertising Age Hispanic Creative Advertising Awards and Gala. So stay tuned!

Let me tell you, it’s so hard to concentrate on a regular job when so many wonderful things keep showing up on the Internet.

According to a job posting on Craigslist, a New York-based casting office, Paladino Casting, is searching for “America’s Numero Uno Telenovela Star” for VH1’s Viva Hollywood, a reality TV show coming this fall.

You can read the entire casting call here -and even apply!- but in a nutshell, you only need to be:

1. Beautiful

2. Stunningly talented

3. Misbehaving

4. Bilingual

5. Willing to do “whatever it takes” to become número uno

…and just as I was getting ready to apply, I realized I would have to agree to be put through “medical, background and psych testing.”

¡Ah, no … Así no! Maybe next time.

Mexican TV viewers are bracing for a traumatic event: Ugly Betty, the English-language, U.S.-produced remake of the Spanish-language Colombian telenovela Betty la Fea, is ready to make its debut in Mexico… in English, with Spanish-language subtitles. (Sounds like the “historic” Univision Spanish-language-English debate

According to Reforma newspaper Ugly Betty is ready for its debut soon via the Sony Entertainment channel, giving my fellow Mexicans yet more crap to watch (this time Made in U.S.A.)

It’s not very often that I find Univision content particularly entertaining or interesting. But a showcase of bilingual Latino stand up comedians this week was a pleasant, refreshing surprise coming from a network that is not particularly known for innovating. During over one hour, five of the nation’s finest Hispanic stand-up comedians brought out the best of their repertoire to mock not only themselves but the whole U.S. Hispanic world as you know it.

But don’t get too excited. Univision has not revamped its prime-time line up or added Spanglish comedy routines to its programming. The show I’m talking about was a live event on Tuesday Sept. 25 as part of Advertising Week, which Univision is partly sponsoring this year. During the “Hispanic Insights Through Comedy” event, media and advertising executives laughed their heads off with the smart remarks of a talented group of Latino entertainers –Andrew Kennedy, Gina Brillon, Eric Nieves, Arnold Acevedo and Bill Santiago.

Besides the obvious sales pitch (here and there the entertainers will praise novelas and other Univision shows) the event did something rarely seen in this growingly PC media environment: make fun of Hispanics and gringos alike, switching easily from English to Spanish and then Spanglish, engaging a presumably smart audience.

I wonder if Univision can take a cue from its own event to replicate it over the air. That would be fun!

The bloggosphere has been flooded with views and news about CBS’ upcoming drama Cane, which debuts this Tuesday and tells the story of a Cuban-American family that runs a rum and sugar business in South Florida. Think the Sopranos meets Destilando Amor.

Some of the bloggers’ complaints have to do with potential misconceptions about Cuban-Americans (no, not all of them are members of the mob running a fishy business). Others are still fuming at CBS for not making a little effort to find Cuban actors (Jimmy Smits and Rita Moreno are Puerto Rican, damn it!).

Still, my favorite Cane feature is the mojito-flavored print ad the network ran in the Sept. 7 issue of Rolling Stone magazine (above). The flavor strip, designed to taste like a lime mojito sans alcohol, comes in a tamper-resistant packet and pitches the imaginary Duque Rum.

“We are always looking to stretch the boundaries of traditional advertising by finding creative ways to market our prime-time series,” George Schweitzer, president of CBS Marketing Group told the New York Post.

I wonder what an ad for Ugly Betty would taste like…

Want to become a top sales executive for the nation’s largest Spanish-language TV network but don’t speak Spanish? Worry no more: Univision’s CEO, Joe Uva, has some advice for you.

In an interview yesterday with Advertising Age’s Andrew Hampp, about the appointment of David Lawenda as Univision’s new ad sales chief, Mr. Uva shared with the writer what he thought was one “key phrase” the non-Spanish-speaking executive should know to succeed in his new role: “Un tequila por favor.”

Ay, ay, ay!

If you thought Univision and Telemundo were the only ones in the business of giving Latinos their much-needed dose of drama, think again. In an effort to explain Latinos what the hell it is that it does, The Nielsen Company this summer debuted a “telenovela” in Humboldt Park, Illinois.According to a July 30 statement, The Nielsen Company’s telenovela is “an innovative approach to demonstrating and informing consumers about the Nielsen Local People Meter technology.” The marketing gimmick –which debuted this summer at the Fiestas Puertorriqueñas– is the creation of FCG Latino, which opted for this “fresh approach” to inform consumers about what Nielsen does and how sample households are randomly selected.

But don’t get too excited: what Nielsen calls a telenovela is simply a 20 x 20 outdoor booth were local actors perform, playing the role of a Latino household receiving the visit from a Nielsen representative. Alas, no zorro-style fighting, nor juicy threesomes! I wonder what type of ratings that thing will get…

Ever wondered why Telemundo telenovelas have such a hard time beating those of Univision? For starters, Univision’s fare is mostly comprised by novelas imported directly from the mero-mero del drama, the so-called dream factory, her highness Grupo Televisa. But there’s also Telemundo’s insistence on producing its own shows, or as the network’s president likes to say (quite often) to control its own destiny.It was with this in mind that the NBC-owned network launched Taller Telemundo, a six-month program in partnership with Loyola Marymount University to “inspire, discover, recruit and train the next generation of fiction writers.”

Well, this week the workshop graduated its Class of 2007, a group of eight lucky hopeful writers. Among them, according to a story in Los Angeles Times, is Liliana Hung (right), a 35-year old Colombia-born mortgage banker who was selected from 1,500 applicants from around the world to write a 10-page telenovela script. Graduation doesn’t guarantee Liliana a writing gig at Telemundo, but her chances are obviously greater than the rest of us. Funnily enough, and as my friend from Clemenseando smartly pointed out, Hung admits to not watching a lot of Spanish-language television.

In fact, she says her favorite TV shows are Law and Order and Nip/Tuck. She grew up reading Mark Twain and watching M*A*S*H and The Streets of San Francisco.

Ay dios! I cannot wait to see what a Hung-authored telenovela will be all about.