Here is a real good reason to build a fence along the U.S.-Mexico border: to stop the freaking camels from sneaking in.

Yes, my friends. A couple of days ago, two camels were spotted in the border town of Ciudad Juárez, looking all suspicious and all, presumably trying to get across unnoticed. According to AP:

Two camels nibbling on a pine tree along a street in this desert metropolis on the Texas border. Police tried lassoing the animals, which lunged at the officers with snapping teeth as onlookers chuckled.

Wait a second… a pine tree in Ciudad Juárez? Now, that´s gotta be a mirage!

Photo: Hazme el Chingado Favor

My fellow chilangos have found a creative (if maybe not infallible) way to protect their property in the face of Mexico City’s alarming insecurity levels.

Translation: This truck is protected by Spider Man.

Photo: Periódico Reforma

If you are remotely familiar with Mexican catholic fervor, you’ve probably seen exvotos adorning a church. An exvoto is an image offered to a deity or saint as a form of prayer or as a thank you for an unanswered prayer.

I’ve seen hundreds of exvotos in my life, but nothing quite like the above one, dated September 30, 2001 and loosely translated as follows:

“Dear Virgin of Guadalupe don’t let this guy Osana vin Laden [sic] attack the United States again, much less with nuclear weapons because I have family working over there, in Los Angeles, California; and may peace reign and not WAR, because we are all your sons. Give them good sense in behalf of humanity.”

Hat tip to the Unfabulous Mr. Badgerous

Ok people. Mexico City’s crime wave is just getting ridiculous. Despite having found the Condomóvil today, (which was stolen a few days ago) cops say a few things are still missing, including a stereo, an iPod, 5,000 condoms, 800 HIV tests and a giant, 7-meter inflatable preservative.

Could the robbers be so kind to give back at least the giant prophylactic? I mean, how far can you go with that thing? It’s pink, for God’s sake!

Anyone?

I just learned today that a group of Chinese companies are plunking down $350 million to build a “deluxe Chinatown” in Mexico City, which is expected to be “very similar to the one found in New York City” according to the local press.

That’s nice. But, can somebody please tell me where to go to find New York City’s deluxe Chinatown? last time I checked there was no lujo to be found around. But maybe that’s just me…

You gotta give it to Mexico City’s police force. Not satisfied with taking bribes from fellow Mexican citizens, in their native language, they are now expanding their activities to foreign nationals, in other people’s language for their comfort.

Two transit police officers today were charged with stealing $150 from an Australian tourist, who after being told by a cop that it was OK to go over a red light, was later stopped -and threatened to be fined- for, well, going over a red light!

Upon seizing her Australian driver’s license, the cop told her -in perfect, and probably heavily accented English: “No money, no license.”

I’ve only been in Mexico City for like 24 hours, but I’m already impressed by the progress made by my country’s institutions: no English no progress. Well done y que viva México!

I have no idea why, but the only two gold medals Mexicans scored at this year’s Olympic Games in Beijing were in the Taekwondo discipline.

Perhaps this has something to do with Latinos’ penchant for kicking the hell out of people, but maybe it’s got something to do with the Mariachi hat. I don’t know.

Whatever happened to good ol’ soccer and boxing?

What’s the point of bitching about stereotypes when everybody knows that the first thing a Mexican athlete packs before going to the Olympics is a sombrero?

Yes, my friends. This is the official garb of the 81 athletes who will represent Mexico in the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, and who this morning heard a clear warning from Felipe Muñoz, the President of the Mexican Olympic Committee:

“This is a great responsibility. All the country will be observant of what you do. You must be careful with what you say, we have to think twice what we say, what we do,” cautioned Mr. Muñoz.

What he did not tell them, though, was NOT to wear their sombrero while riding horses, playing football, doing aquatics, archery or kayaking.

Damn it! That’s precisely why we never win anything at the Olympics. Ever.

A reader of this blog -and fellow Mexico lover- forwarded this, posted on a fence outside a greenhouse in Ensenada, Mexico.

Translation (sort of) for the monolingual crowd: “Close the door behind you upon entering and exiting… Please, if it’s not such a drag. But even if it is, close it anyway.”

Photo: Adriana Romero