Make-Believe ‘Latin’ Food Can -and Will- Kill You

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quesadillaburgersYou can only thank the Center for Science in the Public Interest for its latest advisory against certain “meals” that will most likely kill you or, at least, leave your arteries as congested as the Periférico on a rainy Friday afternoon (or pretty much at any time, any day, rain or shine…)

Among the center’s worst of the worst dishes included in its 2009 Xtreme Eating Award you will find:

  • Little bacon-cheeseburgers tucked inside quesadillas [whatever those are]
  • The Applebee’s Quesadilla burger (a mini-bacon cheeseburger inside a quesadilla), consisting of two flour tortillas, two kinds of meat, two kinds of cheese, pico de gallo, lettuce and ranch dressing sauce… served with fries, mind you.
  • Chili’s Big Mouth Bites: four mini-bacon cheeseburgers served with fries, onion strings and jalapeño ranch dipping sauce

I have no idea why I don’t recall eating any of the above disgusting delicious meals while growing up in a real Latin American household. But I am proud to follow a rigorous diet based on authentic American-made Mexican food and other U.S.-made delicacies.

Yummy!

Obama Taps a Latino as Ambassador to the Vatican. And No, It’s Not Padre Alberto Cutié

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With Latinos still celebrating the appointment of Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court (and praying that Republicans will not send her back to the Bronx project she came from) President Obama this week tapped yet another Hispanic to his cabinet, this time an ambassador to the Vatican…. And no, it is not Padre Alberto -as this blogger some had hoped.

Obama’s choice for such holy task is Miguel Diaz, a 45-year-old theologian who had served as a consultant to Obama’s presidential campaign. Diaz is a theologian who has not played any significant role in politics.

Alas, Padre Alberto did not make the cut. He was -apparently- busy making the transition from a church that couldn’t forgive his sensual pecadillos to one which will allow whatever it is he likes to do on the beach!

Amen.

From Soccer Star to Pizza Delivery Boy

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You know the economy is tough when Hispanic celebrities have to moonlight as pizza delivery boys and promoters of the Yellow Pages on the same issue of a nationally-distributed magazine whose cover they are also gracing.

This is Cuauhtémoc Blanco on the cover of ESPN Deportes La Revista (May/June 09) and on the back cover of the same magazine, pitching the Yellow Pages as a pizza delivery boy (for reasons still unknown to this blogger). Click on each photo to expand image.

[Oh, and let’s not forget the singing!]

Media’s First Order of Business: Learn How to Spell Sotomayor

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Needless to say: my favorite part about American media’s coverage of Sonia Sotomayor’s appointment to the Supreme Court is that very few people seem to get her name right. I mean: not even the L.A. Times, hailing from a city that is, like, 105% Hispanic.

Sotomayer? Sotomoyer? Sotamayor? Sotameyer? The possibilities seem endless (just like Chávez’ anniversary radio show)

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The following story is from the Kansas City Star, which we cannot forgive, especially now that Latinos are starting to take over the place.


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Want more: There’s plenty! Just click here, here or here.

Chávez Celebrates Everlasting Presidency With Endless Broadcast

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alo-presidenteHow else would you celebrate a 10-year presidential term with no end in sight than with a 4-day radio and television broadcast of the president himself?

Yes, my friends. Just when you thought Venezuelan media couldn’t get any more interesting, President Hugo Chávez today announced that a special edition of Aló, Presidente, the radio and television show he started ten years ago, will kick off Thursday May 28 and will broadcast, uninterrupted until Sunday May 31st.

As Chávez told some media outlets, “the program will be just like a telenovela…there will be music, interviews…”

Which I thought was kind of funny, because other than RDB there is not a lot of music going on in telenovelas -much less interviews, so we’ll just have to wait and see!

Veracruz Finds Novel Idea to Attract Tourism

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MEXICO - GRIPE PORCINA

If you thought there was no smart way to attract tourism to La Gloria, the impoverished Mexican village that is supposedly the epicenter of swine flu, think again: Veracruz governor Fidel Herrera has found a novel idea: He is building a statue honoring Edgar Hernández (a.k.a. El Niño Cero) the 5-year-old who is believed to be the first human to have contracted H1N1.

(My friend just suggested he should be called “El Niño Cer(d)o”)

I have no idea how much the statue will cost (it’s a small kid, after all) but I bet you it won’t be close to the $90-million the government is spending on ‘Vive México’ the marketing campaign it launched this week to revive tourism by promoting the country as a safe destination (safe from influenza, that is, not violent murders.)

Whites Become Minority in Kansas County. [Still Majority in San Miguel de Allende, Puerto Vallarta]

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ADIOS_GRINGO4It was just a matter of time: Finney County, Kansas became majority-minority [sic] between 2007 and 2008.

Put it simply, this means than more than half the population is made up of a group that is not single-race, non-Hispanic white, according to CNN.

But Finney County is not alone. According to recent U.S. Census figures:

Nearly 10 percent (309) of the nation’s 3,142 counties were majority-minority as of July 1, 2008.

Whites shouldn’t despair, though… They will always have San Miguel de Allende, Cabos, Vallarta, Chapala, and so on…

Looking Like a Flu-Sickened Mexican Will Help you Get a Seat in London’s Underground

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That’s it! First it was Burger King, then South Park. And now Schweppes is reportedly using a sombrero-wearing Mexican fellow suffering from swine flu to pitch their ridiculously refreshing beverages! Wanna seat on the tube? Grab a box of kleenex and a giant sombrero and off you go!

(It is likely that this “ad” was born and lives only in the bowels of the Internet… but if it’s a real Schweppes campaign, I CANNOT wait for the ensuing outrage and lame apology by some agency!)

Pardon???!!!

Hat tip [pun intended] to my friend, Gutierritos

People en Español’s ‘Bellos’ Party Treated Guests to an Awesome Almodóvar Moment

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As you might imagine, this blogger is not well this morning. Too much partying reporting last night at People en Español‘s Bellos party, something that has become sort of an annual ritual -for me and 50 other beautiful people.

Unlike previous years, the party last night at Manhattan’s Edison Ballroom was much smaller (just like the economy.) But less was certainly more, as People editors regaled us mortals with an awesome musical number featuring Cucu Diamantes and a troop that included a female contortionist clown and an awesome pint-size guitarist. (Thank you, People en Español, for sparing us the reggaetón)

Photos: Laura Martínez

Influenza Virus Was Brought to Cuba by a Mexican Student, Not the CIA: Fidel

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The swine flu case found this weekend in Cuba was brought to the island by a Mexican student in Havana, and NOT the CIA as everybody Fidel Castro had feared. According to Granma’s Reflexiones del Compañero Fidel: 

Hoy se anunció la presencia del virus de influenza A (H1N1) en Cuba. El portador es un joven ciudadano mexicano que estudia medicina en nuestro país. Lo único que puede afirmarse ahora es que no lo introdujo la CIA. Vino de México.

But wait! what if this particular Mexican works for the CIA? eh? anyone? 

[Hat tip to Mariana Carreño King, an avid reader of Granma online]

Father Alberto Speaks Up: I Wear Pants Under My Cassock. Not at the Beach, Though

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Father Alberto Cutié tells Univision’s Teresa Rodríguez that he doesn’t really regret his canoodling on the beach because, as a man, he wears pants under his cassock. However, judging from the TV Notas pics, I think he prefers not to wear much. At all. Ever.

Univision aired the full interview with Father Alberto on Tuesday (10 PM/ET.) Click on the photo below if you have nothing better to do to watch the full interview.

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