McDonald’s Puts The Big Mac in a Tortilla. Seriously

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mcdonaldsMove over, McSkillet Burrito. Your favorite fat fast-food chain is testing the Snack Wrap Mac in several markets. The new culinary work of art is nothing but half a beef patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions –wrapped in a flour tortilla. Yummy.

McDonald’s spokeswoman Danya Proud proudly told AdAge that results of the test in several markets so far have been “great.” Supporting her claim, an executive at food industry research firm Technomic simply says: “It makes sense. They’re cheaper than a Big Mac. It tastes like a Big Mac with a tortilla.”

Hell, why didn’t we think of that before?

Attention, Job Seekers: Foxy Lady is Hiring

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foxyFor those of you still unable to find the address of the upcoming Job Fair in Manhattan, Illinois, there’s an easier way to find work (and it doesn’t even require to dress up. At all.)

Foxy Lady, the Providence, R.I. strip club this weekend held a job fair, seeking applications for about 35 jobs such as dancers and massage girls, waitresses, bouncers, floor managers, DJs and “house moms.”

Among the new hires is Tania Azevedo, 21, a student at New England Institute of Technology studying to be a surgical technician. As told to the local press, Azevedo is confident of getting a job after graduation, but there will also be about $45,000 in student loans to repay and the tips from a nighttime bartender job would help.

See? When there’s a will [and a debt] there’s always a way [and a strip club joint willing to hire.]

p.s. Question from this blogger: What on Earth is a House Mom?

Can’t Find Ecuador on a Map? You Must Be Reading Too Many Brazilian Text Books

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south_america1A Brazilian publishing company charged with printing 500,000 text books for six-graders decided that a country also known as The Banana Republic could not possibly be taken serious for a Geography lesson. So, according to press reports, the books distributed by the Vanzolini Foundation didn’t even include Ecuador on their map of South America.

But wait that’s not all:

“In fact, the book distributed by the education ministry in Brazil’s most populous state botches the location of most of Brazil’s neighbors. Paraguay is switched with Uruguay, and a second “new” Paraguay is shown with a coastline at the southern tip of Brazil.”

Arizona Business Owner Finds Racism Funny. LOL!

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10011232_bg1This is the stupid “funny” sign posted outside the business of Flash Sharrar, owner of Team Ramco in Yuma, Az. who says is tired of having to turn away Hispanics looking for jobs. He says he is using the word ‘yobs’ because that’s the way we (i.e. Hispanics) pronounce ‘jobs.’

“These people come into our shop like they own the place and then argue with me about getting a job. I figured I would use their language to let them know there are no jobs here,” Mr. Sharrar told the Arizona Republic.

Well, maybe he’d be better off by actually posting a sign in our language, as in Aquí no hay trabajo. But I’m suspecting that would be a bit too much for monolingual Flash (or shall I call him Flach?)

Calderón Says Mexico’s Crime is Not That Bad. Gringos in Cancún Support His Claim

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You all know Mexico’s organized crime is, well, much better organized that our sorry politicians. Even so, Mexican president Felipe Calderón this week delivered his strongest defense yet of his government accusing the media (and some in the U.S. government) of mounting a campaign of “lies” against Mexico.

Meanwhile, in Cancún, a group of happy gringo vacationers are mounting a campaign of “truths” about how safe and wonderful Mexico is (as long as they remain in the confines of a five-star, all-inclusive hotel that is.)

Here’s Why Latinos Will Never Find a Job. Ever

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The hardest part about finding a job in this economy is… finding the location of a job fair.

According to an email blast sent out this week to members of The National Society for Hispanic Professionals, the upcoming New York Job fair (April 16) is taking place… somewhere in Chicago. Job seekers are directed to Manhattan’s Metropolitan Pavillion by clicking on a Google Map link that takes them directly to a place around Lake Michigan.

See? And you thought finding a job was hard!

Click on the picture to enlarge

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¡Sí, Se Puede! El Chapo Guzmán Makes it to ‘Forbes’ List of Gazillionaires!

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vhspo

Move over, Carlos Slim. Another “notable” Mexican, our very own drug lord El Chapo Guzmán, 54, has made Forbes’ list of billionaires with a fortune described as “self-made.” (Please, don’t be fooled by the cheap-looking Gortex jacket.)

According to Forbes, the fortune of drug lord Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán is estimated at around $1 billion — No. 701 on the list– right between a Swiss oil-trading tycoon and a U.S. chemical heir and just on pair with Televisa’s Emilio Azcárraga-Jean.

Oh, and he is only 54, which makes us believe a bright future still awaits the Sinaloa native.

¿Quién dijo que no se puede?

It’s Official: NYT Editors Don’t Read Mi Blog es tu Blog

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ethnicdollI always suspected the editors and reporters of the New York Times didn’t use my blog as reference for anything. But today I was finally able to prove it.

According to a May 11 article, City Room’s Jennifer Lee wrote about the difficulty of finding a racially mixed set of dolls for a Tuesday demonstration on AIDS awareness in City Hall:

Even in New York City, it was a scramble to get dolls to reflect their desired demographics. “A few people who purchased dolls found it very hard to find brown or black baby dolls,” said Krishna Stone, a spokeswoman for Gay Men’s Health Crisis. “I went to three 99-cent stores and couldn’t find any. Another colleague went to four stores. What is that about?”

Had she been reading my blog, she would have found Hispanic dolls aplenty here, here and here…Oh, and here too!

Mexicans Develop Male Birth Pill. Makes me Love Them More than Ever [Mexicans not Men]

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pill_clapMexican scientists have done it my friends: they claim they have come up with a píldora anticonceptiva… for men, which will allow them to do whatever it is they want to do without leaving any living traces behind.

According to a recent article in the Mexican press:

“A group of investigators at the Universidad Autónoma Metropolitana (UAM) have been working on this little wonder for over 2 years. The pill, which men will not have to take everyday, will allow them to ejaculate without releasing any sperm.”

Additionally, the male pill is NOT expected to make men fat, moody or make them feel like throwing things at you for no apparent reason.

Alas, this little wonder is not scheduled to hit Mexican pharmacies until around 2019, by which time we’ll all be old and bored anyway.

Dora’s New Look Enrages Parents. What’s Next? -They Wonder- Dora the Stripper?

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dora_nuevo_lookI’m sure you heard all about it: Dora the Explorer is getting a sexy makeover, and while Mattel and Nickelodeon have only released a silhouette, the new Dora is sure to make your palms sweaty (Well, not really): 

“The revamped Dora shows her with long locks, a short skirt and pointed ballet pumps.”

Meanwhile, a group of idle concerned mothers have filed an online petition to ban the new look asking: “What next? Dora the Cheerleader? Dora the fashionista with stylish purse and stilettos? Dora the Pop Star with Hoppin’ Dance Club and “Juice” Bar?”

And, may I add: What about Dora, the Spanish-language broadcast weather girl featuring a good pair? Anyone?

That’s a Whole Lot of [Hispanic] Niñitos!

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kinderThat’s it my friends. Remember the New York sixtuplets, the first ever born to a Hispanic couple? Soon, they will be joining the billions millions of little ones taking over populating America’s kindergartens. According to the latest Census data:

“Nearly a quarter of all the nation’s kindergarten students are Hispanic, more than triple the rate during the 1970s.”

That is roughly ….a lot of chilpayates.

And wait ’till you hear some staggering statistics about tortillas consumption. Stay tuned. More Census data to come.

Photo: Viktor Glez

Buy T-Shirt. Pray. Help Mexico Qualify for FIFA 2010

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naco_saneric1There are only a few companies that know how to pitch a product to their target market. And NaCo is one of them.

In their most recent pitch, NaCo creators this week launched the “fútbol prayer tee,” featuring the image of Mexico’s coach Sven-Göran Eriksson as an winged angel holding a soccer ball with the name San Eriksson on it. Because, you know, there is no other way we’ll ever make it to South Africa.

Is there?