A ‘Latin-Style Fiesta Pet-Parade’ Is Just What 2020 Was Missing

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“OK, I’ll pose, but please don’t put me inside the piñata.”

What would you do to raise funds to help cute little furry friends in these times of crisis? Well, how about hosting a “Latin-style” pet parade and livestream it to the millions of suckers stuck at home trying to avoid getting coronavirus?

That is exactly what the San Antonio Humane Society will be doing on May 2. At approximately 3 p.m. local time, the society will livestream its annual Fiesta fundraising event, which helps raise funds to support local shelters, adoption and care programs in the area.

According to the local press, those who log on for the virtual fun can expect to enjoy a parade of “furry friends modeling sombreros and posing beside papier maché margaritas,” because apparently that’s what pets in San Antonio do.

I’m not sure the below canine looks particularly happy at the prospect of drinking a paper margarita, but then again, I’m not a pet person, so who knows?

“Make it quick, Jen, I feel totally ridiculous.”

Hat tip: Melissa Salas Blair; photos via: San Antonio Express News

We Must Stop Cauliflower Tortillas Before it’s Too Late

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As if I didn’t have enough bad news these days, someone just mentioned Cauliflower, a Los Angeles-based company determined to “reinvent our favorite foods” with healthier options, including cauliflower rice, cauliflower chips and cauliflower pizza dough.

While I couldn’t care less about what they do to rice and pizza, they’re now proudly peddling the ¡Viva Cauliflower Tortilla! apparently because people really really needed a grain-free, cauliflower tortilla to wrap God knows what in them.

“Caulipower’s mission is to listen to what people want,” Gail Becker, founder and CEO of Caulipower, told Baking Business. “Like pizza, tortillas are beloved, versatile and a natural fit for us to create a better-for-you option.”

Listen, Gail, I’m sure you’re all healthy and all that, but who are you to say this is a better-for-me option? Last time I checked, my better-for-me-option was a deliciously greasy set of carnitas wrapped in –what else?– a double corn tortilla.

Besides, if you really really want a healthy meal, just go squash some cauliflower and roll things inside it, but don’t call these things tortillas if you don’t want me to throw a fit.

Thank you very much for your cooperation.

Photo via: Caulipower

Mexico’s Top Health Official Is Now an Official Piñata, Because Mexico

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Hugo López-Gatell as a piñata? Yes, please, thank you.

It is official: Hugo López-Gatell Ramírez, the Mexican deputy health minister in the frontlines of the fight against COVID-19 has been immortalized in a piñata from the famed Piñatería Ramírez in northern Mexico.

The López-Gatell piñata comes with –what else– a mini version of the coronavirus piñata and a sign with a very appropriate message in these times of pandemia: Quédate en casa (Stay home.)

As a Twitter follower wrote the other day: This is “as prestigious as having been inducted into the Mexican historical hall of fame.”

Here’s The Star-Spangled Banner in Spanish Honoring Hispanics Fighting COVID-19

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The Spanish translation of “The Star-Spangled Banner” was done by Clotilde Arias, a native of Peru.

Ever wondered what The Star-Spangled Banner sounds like in Spanish? Well, look no further than El Pendón Estrellado, the “only official Spanish-language translation” of the national anthem allowed to be sung, according to The Smithsonian.

The translation into Spanish of the National Anthem was done by Clotilde Arias, a Peruvian immigrant, during the Roosevelt administration, but is now being repurpused as part of a new campaign to honor Hispanic workers fighting COVID-19 across the United States.

The version you’re about to see is performed by Jeidimar Rijos, the 2019 winner of La Voz competition, and was commissioned by We Are All Human Foundation’s Hispanic Star, a non-for-profit organization that seeks to “raise awareness of the contributions of the Hispanic community to the United States.”

The campaign comes at a time when Hispanics –and other minorities– are being hit particularly hard by the epidemic. Only in New York City, for example, data shows that 34% of fatalities as of April 8 were within the Hispanic community, despite their making up only 29% of the city’s population. Nationwide, says Time magazine, Hispanic and Latinx Americans are also the largest uninsured group.

Via: Time.com

Today in Surreal Mexico: Social Distancing at the Combi Stop

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I had promised myself to stop blogging about coronavirus, mostly because I live in New York City and everything is terrible and I keep having anxiety attacks over the whole thing. But then I’ve been facetiming, skype-ing and zooming a lot lately with family and friends in Mexico who send me the funniest memes, videos and jokes about the pandemia and then I smile again.

However, no meme or joke would ever come close to my country’s daily life struggles as the crisis intensifies, and the Mexican government plays catch up with the rest of the world in setting up guidelines and policies to contain the virus.

Take the above “heroes” on a colectivo stop, keeping a healthy distance in line just to end up all crammed up inside… of course, because Mexico.

Filing this under #SurrealMexico and #SusanaDistancia.

Photo via Reddit México

Baby Tiger Born in Veracruz Named Covid, Because Mexico

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Covid was born March 14 in Córdoba and he’s truly adorbs

Today, in the always popular section “Mexico in the time of coronavirus,” I give you Covid, a baby Bengal tiger born March 14 in a small zoo in Córdoba, Veracruz.

“Covid was born to an 8-year-old tigress that had been in a circus and was nursed back to health after needing an operation for a hip fracture,” zoo owner Gonzalo Rodriguez told Reuters.

So now you know it, my people not only make fun of death and calamities; we embrace them all the way.

Welcome to the world, sweet Covid…

Via: New York Post

Inspired by Mexico, a Chicago Bakery Is Now Making its Own Conchavirus

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They look more like happy frogs, but it’s the intention that counts, right?

Well, that didn’t take long.

Barely a couple of days after this VERY INFLUENTIAL BLOG first reported on the Iztapalapa conchavirus, a small bakery in Chicago is now making their own version.

“We wanted to turn a negative into a positive one by creating my very own conchavirus,” Eddie Vázquez, executive pastry chef and owner at Rosy’s Bakery, told ABC News Chicago.

Fortunately for Mr. Vázquez, Chicagoans are so excited about they’re placing their orders by the dozen, and I still don’t know how they get the courage to go out, but that’s another story…

It’s not a secret that 2020 sucks, but –heck– it has been a good year for conchas.

Quintana Roo’s Police Force Is Ready to Fight Coronavirus … to the Tune of ‘Mariachi Loco’

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The Mexican police force in Quintana Roo (yes, that’s the state where Cancún is located) has come with an awesome PSA to let the community know that the deadly coronavirus is not going to get them.

Watch as police men and women dance to the tune of the Mariachi loco song and simple but catchy lyrics that go sort of like this:

The coronavirus wants to arrive…

The coronavirus wants to arrive….

But it will have to face the cops

I’d like to inform everyone,

That Quintana Roo will not be infected and we’ll do awawy with this virus

OK that sounds boring if you read it, but the actual video is deliciously fun!

Take it away, mariachi loco!

 

 

Mexican Bakery Introduces the Conchavirus, because Mexico

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From Iztapalapa to the world…

Speaking of Mexico and the seriousness of COVID-19, a bakery in Iztapalapa, Mexico has come up with a coronavirus-like sweet bread, which they’re calling –what else?– the conchavirus. According to a very reliable source (i.e. a commenter on my Instagram feed) the genius behind this thing is Panificadora Juanito, a 30-year-old establishment which prides itself of using all natural ingredients.

Oh, did I mention the conchavirus is only $6.50 pesos? That’s… practically USD 25 cents.

Filing under “Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?”

Hat tip: @DatBoopGirl

Tortillas, Toilet Paper and the Importance of the Simple Things

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My local deli recently ran out of toilet paper, but it stocks plenty of these. So, we’re good…

I spent a good part of Tuesday, March 17 looking for toilet paper in my neighborhood –to no avail. Somehow, the coronavirus crisis has turned people in some sort of toilet paper-hoarding zombies, emptying the shelves at supermarkets, bodegas and pharmacies.

The craziness is not limited to New York City or even the US: My brother sent me a photo (below) from a Mexico City supermarket, showing people doing exactly the same thing: Hoarding toilet-paper –except supplies seem to be abundant down there (at least for now.)

What’s with toilet paper?

I tried again one day later and this time my local bodega (PapaSito) proudly advertised that toilet paper was back, so I went in (naturally). Several rolls of toilet paper wrapped individually sat at the top of a very tall counter, one I couldn’t reach, so I asked a fellow Mexican who works there for help. Our conversation went something like this:

–Can you please pass me four of those? –I asked.

-Four? Only four? –said the man almost incredulous. –Why don’t you take more? People are coming in and getting 15-30 rolls at once…

-Because… I’m not deranged? –I replied.

My paisano cracked up upon hearing that, and then noticed I had also bought a few packs of corn tortillas.

–Well, I’d be damned if we were to run out of those! –He said pointing at my packs of Poblanitas.

I walked away thinking he was absolutely right and was happy to get back to my quarantine (not before I stopped for some other basic goods.)

It’s the Census 2020 – and I Still Don’t Know What Race I Am 🤷🏻‍♀️

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My U.S. Census 2020 questionnaire is here and while I’m all game and ready to fill out and submit this thing, I will forever be puzzled by the “race” question.

See, when you reach the the “race question” while filling out the 2020 U.S. Census, you’ll get options within five racial categories (see photo below:)

  • White
  • Black or African-American
  • American Indian or Alaska Native
  • Asian
  • Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander.

This, of course, leaves this café con leche, whitish Mexican blogger born in Mexico practically in limbo, since I’m supposed to select “white” or “some other race” to comply and be able to go to the next window. (And I’m not alone: Remember this Puerto Rican dude during the 2010 Census who was pissed (with reason) and refused to fill out his Census form, because “Hispanic” was not an option under the Race box?)

Also missing in this section are people from the Middle East and North Africa, which I suppose are supposed to do the same: Select “white” or “some other race,” which I think will make it harder to locate where there is need for local bilingual services in schools or during elections, to name a few things.

I’m personally offended because “Human” is not an option under race, so I decided to use the “Some other race –print race” space to spell out N.P.I. (Ni Pinche Idea.)

Hispanics and people from the Middle East or North Africa, back in limbo…