Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
While y’all were busy reporting on the latest tweets of our Commander in Chief, Luis Fonsi paid a visit to Conan O’Brien, because life is determined to drive me crazy poquito a poquito…
I don’t know you, but if the creators of the “smashing hit” have their way, I will end up very soon in a mental institution or — better yet — chopping my head off so I don’t have to hear THAT THING EVER AGAIN.
Via: Luis Fonsi/Instagram
Mexico might be on the brink of social unrest and political disaster — and it’s clear we will never know what happened to the 43 of Ayotzinapa — but our nation’s Commander in Chief has set his sights on one important cause: To protect the vaquita marina, the “world’s rarest marine mammal” with the aid of two unusual partners, Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim and Oscar-winning actor Leonardo DiCaprio.
And why is this important, may you ask?
Per the local media:
Vaquita porpoises – the smallest of six extant porpoise species, can become entrapped in the nets and subsequently die, which has led to a sharp decline in their numbers.
Yeah, they seem to be vanishing, just like students from marginalized rural colleges around Mexico. SAD!
At this point I’m not sure which one of my “two countries” I’m most ashamed of.
Via: Mexico Daily News
Remember Paris real authentic Mexican restaurant or the super popular Le Guacamole version Grandé?
Well, Parisians have outdone themselves and are going all in with the whole We-Too-Can-Make-Original-Tacos.
Introducing O’Tacos, “Original French Tacos” that you get to make yourself, or so I can surmise from their logo featuring something that looks like La Pyramide de Louvre — or a tortilla chip, I’m really not sure.
Anyhow, as any pompous French would tell you: C’est quoi ce truc?
Photo: Europe Taco Correspondent, @KentGerman
It was only a few days ago I wrote about gringo media discovering the craze of Despacito, the first Spanish-language U.S. No. 1 hit since Macarena.
Well, get ready for more Despacito-infused news: A priest at a local church in Córdoba, Argentina, has decided to give his dominical sermon a Fonsi-Daddy-Yankee spin, by making attendees chant and dance to the tune of — what else? — Despacito!
The reason? Simply because THE END is near and we’re all going to hell. (Despacito, but we’re on our way.)
JUST WATCH:
Via: Televisa
I have not seen this thing, since it is set to premiere on June 9, but judging from the official trailer; the many (way too many) pics posted by Salma Hayek on Instagram and even a film review by the [failing] New York Times, Beatriz at Dinner is poised to become the American film of the Trumpian era par excellence.
The reason? It features “a pompous billionaire facing off with a Mexican professional woman whom everyone assumes she is part of the wait staff. (As if that hasn’t happened to all of us!)
Anyhow, stay tuned as this blogger will do her best to get a free ticket to this thing. Yes, I said “free,” because as you can imagine, being Mexican and all, I couldn’t possibly shell out $15 for a Hollywood movie — even if a paisana stars on it.
Watch this thing and please let me know if I should bother or simply file this under the shameful-Hollywood-productions-that-never-should-have-been archives.
Hispanics might have found the perfect way to make politicians think twice before taking away their rights and/or implement some BS anti-immigration legislation: Cut down their salsa *and* guacamole supply.
That was in full display earlier this week in Austin, when dozens of Hispanics protested outside state Rep. Matt Rinaldi’s office after he threatened to “put a bullet in one of his colleague’s head” during a scuffle over SB 4, the state’s new anti-“sanctuary cities” law.
But that was not all. According to several press reports, Rinaldi also told Texas democrats in the House that he had called ICE officials on Hispanic activists and wanted them all deported and stuff.
This, of course, didn’t sit well with my people, who retaliated with the most powerful tool at their disposal: By pledging to cut down the supply of salsa, guacamole and other delicious “Hispanic goods” to offending legislators.
So… U.S. politicians have been properly warned: They’d better think twice before messing with Latinos. It’ll be, like, No salsa, No Guacamole for YOU!
Hat tip: Melissa Salas Blair
Everyone has seen the pic now: An awkward-looking Pope Francis who looks as if he is being held hostage inside his own home, posing next to a cheerful Donald Trump and his wife and daughter, both in black and wearing black veils — for some reason.
Enter Mexican Twitter (more specifically the great @Vampipe) who turned the image into an international PNG for us to play along.
Are you ready?
Note: These are only starting to trickle in and I’ll be uploading more as they come, so keep coming back and have fun!
Now that The Atlantic and other VPM (Very Prestigious Media) decided to write about the “amazing phenomenon” that Despacito is, this blogger had no choice but to acknowledge the whole thing and give Luis Fonsi and his peeps a well-deserved space on this venerable blog, because, truth be told, I have NOT stopped dancing to this damn thing for, like, weeks!
Anyhow, just a couple of things before you venture here.
First, watch the original “Spanish”-language version (below.) Then, move onto an improbable version featuring none other than Justin Bieber (yeah, don’t ask, but he’s pretty good saying “manuscrito” in Spanish.) Last — but not least — watch this blogger’s favorite Italian people filming in real time their own LOVE-HATE relationship with this damn thing!
Ready? ENJOY!
WAIT. DID ANYBODY SAY JUSTIN BIEBER?
WHAT’S WITH THESE LATIN AMERICAN PEOPLE?
This blogger is real busy trying to get to brunch, so no time to write much, so you can just sit and contemplate this pic, like, forever…
Via: El Internet (LOL)
Hat tip: Gabriel Velasco
May is my favorite month of the year, and not only because it is my birthday, and spring is blooming and all that crap. It is because in addition to the very serious journalistic work I do everyday, I get to attend some of the presentations, parties and after-parties around the so-called Hispanic TV upfronts.
My favorite part, of course, is trying to cover the not-so-serious side of the three-day-marathon of parties, parties and programming presentations, interviews and business meetings.
Here are some highlights of this year’s Hispanic TV upfronts, which have left this blogger (and her liver) particularly damaged.
* Hispanic TV Upfront week officially kicked off with a small, but lively party in New York City hosted by CNN en Español, which insists on putting an eñe on its logo, even though it looks silly and makes no sense whatsoever. This time around, though, the “eñe-offender” made its way to pillows, cookies and chocolates, because why have pass the opportunity to amplify the silliness?
Personally, the highlight of this year’s CÑÑ’s presentation was non other than Jeff Zucker, the mero mero jefe of CNN (sans eñe,) who kicked off the event by addressing the audience in a moderately good Spanish.
Needless to say, this blogger did her best to run after him as soon as he stepped off the thing and tried to ask him who had coached him in the language of Cervantes. Alas, I have to report Mr. Zucker runs way faster than me!
Unlike previous years, Telemundo did not host its own upfront presentation, but was a small part of a much bigger event by parent company NBCU at Radio City Hall. But in an effort to make it up to the many people it didn’t invite to Radio City Hall (ahem, ahem, self,) it treated hundreds of advertising executives, media — and me, of course — to a lavish party Monday night featuring Enrique Iglesias (also known as The-Singer-That-Makes-This-Blogger-Feel-Like-a-Cougar.)
As usual, right before the event I was able to squeeze past security and reach the so-called VIP area of the Hammerstein Ballroom, where I spotted my friend José Díaz Balart chatting with former Univision star Mario Kreutzberger (aka Don Francisco) who is making a TV comeback on Telemundo — for some reason.
It is important to note there was some kind of “wall” between me and the celebrities, but nothing a crafty Mexican couldn’t get through.
Univision’s theme for its 2017 Upfront presentation was “Proof of Passion,” a celebration of the things that Hispanics are so passionate about, namely soccer, family and dancing! Yes, there was the usual stuff about how much my people (i.e. The Hispanics) love soccer, their family and all that jazz. But there were also some fun jabs at Telemundo’s own theme, SHIFT, which Univision simply dismissed as just “a crock of shift.”
“We’ve heard how there’s some kind of shift happening,” said Steve Mandala, Univision’s executive vicepresident of ad sales. “That is a crock of shift.”
LOL.
Univision’s presentation closed with Shakira performing two songs. TWO SONGS, after which she just simply wished us all well and walked away.
Oh and did I mention how RUDE and awful it was for Univision to forgo its lavish luncheon that had become a legend in town? Come on, Randy Falco, that luncheon was literally the only thing that made this blogger get her Latina butt moving and stand the horrors of Times Square.
Are you telling me Univision finances are so bad that you couldn’t afford the spiced pollo of last year? SAD!
No Hispanic TV upfront would be complete without the funnest party of them all: The People en Español’s 50 Más Bellos bash, an annual ritual for me — and 50 other beautiful Latinos.
This year, the party took place at ESPACE NY, and – unlike previous years – it was much smaller, and the room looked kind of empty at times. On the bright side, it was easier to harass famous, beautiful Latin people and refill my champagne glass way faster than in years before.
Other than me, other beautiful people who showed up included.
María Elena Salinas, looking sharp as ever and drinking tons of water (which is what I should have done)
Thalía, who received an special award for being the Latina that has been featuring more times in the special Bellos issue….
David Chocarro, who was seen posing near some skincare products, but could have used a comb instead… 
… and Lili Estefan, Raúl de Molina, Geraldine Bazán, Gabriel Soto and many, many more famous Latinos whose name I couldn’t really catch after all those liters of … Seltzer water.
Anyhow, everything ended up smoothly and this blogger was able to go back home in one piece, blessed by a beautiful Manhattan night.
BTW: I just realized I’ve been doing is too long…
In yet another sign that Hispanic television is determined to “superserve its audience with relevant programming,” Univision Communications has partnered with AT&T to bring us — are you ready? — El Chapo Ilimitado! (Unlimited Chapo,) a weekly Facebook Live series that “serves as a forum for fans to discuss new episodes of El Chapo, a new crime television series co-produced by Netflix and Univision.
El Chapo Ilimitado (which I’m sure is a wink to AT&T’s unlimited data plans, duh) is hosted by Univision personalities Lourdes Stephen and Carlos Calderón, who show an extraordinary disposition to look cheerful — and fun! — while discussing one of Mexico’s most sanguinary drug dealers every single week.
Per a company press release, this thing is streamed via Facebook Live on Univision’s Facebook page Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. immediately following the premiere of new episodes.
Say what you will, but Hispanic TV will never cease to depress amuse this blogger.
Now if you allow me, I’ll just go shoot myself.
Via: El Chapo Ilimitado
If there was any doubt that Mexicans have taken over the USA, take a walk on the wild side… of The Bronx; more especifically, around Webster Avenue, one of the borough’s longest throughfares, and you’ll come across El Rancho, formerly NY Capital Bank, and now home of some of the most delish Mexican food in the area.
Because, really, who needs walls — and/or banks — when you can have tacos?
Photo: Laura Martínez, Bronx, NYC
OKAY, people, stop doing whatever it is you are doing right now. A potentially devastating malaise known as Avocado Hand is affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado, namely Americans and Brits.
According to the always reliable Daily Mail, the number of people visiting the emergency room suffering from “avocado hand” knife injuries is on the rise. But… how bad exactly is this thing? Well, it is so bad it once got none other than Meryl Streep, who famously required hand surgery after cutting her fingers while preparing a delish guacamole.
The problem is not limited to America, no señor. London-based plastic surgeon Simon Eccles told The Times that he sees about four patients a week now suffering with wounds caused by trying to cut an avocado, because — shockingly — there are avocados in London.
Fortunately, they are plenty of resources out there for you not to end up in the emergency room with a bunch of avocado-clueless anglos. There are even guides and fancy gadgets for you to master your avocado grip.
To wit…
and….
So, get yourself together and don’t say I didn’t warn you….
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