Meet the Sarape-clad Latino-Muslim Undocumented Terrorist

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Meet the Sarape-clad Latino-Muslim undocumented terrorist
Meet the Sarape-clad Latino-Muslim undocumented terrorist

Awwww, my people can be so creative! (and by that I mean both, Latinos and editors.)

Take the National Institute for Latino Policy (NALIP), which recently posted the findings of a five-year-old study about the misrepresentation of Latinos and Muslims in national broadcast and cable news.

Among other things, the study found that both, Latinos and Muslims are overrepresented as the ‘bad guys’ across national TV, with Latinos being — almost invariably — undocumented criminals and Muslims, well, hopeless terrorists.

But hold on. I’m all up for my people (and everybody else’s people) not to be singled out as the bad guys on television. But I do think using a Sarape-Inspired Male Niqab to illustrate this story is a bit of a stretch.

I mean… I just went LOL.

This ‘Taco Toaster’ Will Ruin your Tortillas for Only US$30

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This thing costs US$30
Now you can ruin a perfectly good soft tortilla into a hard-shell ‘taco’ 

The Americans have done it, my friends.

Some genius on this side of the border has come up with the “Toasted Taco Fiesta” a US$30 contraption that will turn a perfectly good, regular, soft tortilla into one of those things this country insists on calling tacos.

The end is near. We’re doomed.

Via: Fancy.com

Sometimes I Think Marketers are Just Screwing with My Head

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Wait. What?!
Wait. What?!

So, there I was, minding my own business; walking the streets of Manhattan; thinking about a God whose naughtiness might have escaped me when, suddenly, out of the blue, boom! I bump into a 3-meter-high advertisement for Pito Rico, a seemingly real product hailing from Puerto Rico, promising a night-long fiesta.

At first I thought someone was just screwing with my head, putting things out there for the pure enjoyment of this blog’s readers.

But no. Not only this “Pito Rico” exists; this thing has its own Website and is coming to a liquor store near us!

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem, NY 2015

This Church Claims God is Having Sexual Pleasure with you

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Wait. What?
Wait. What?

No, the devil is not in the details; the devil is in the bad translations.

Take St. Ignatius, an Austin-based catholic parish, which — in an effort to lure more Hispanics — decided to translate its holy message into Spanish.

However, St. Ignatius’ publicists would have been well advised to know that “God Delights in you” shouldn’t be translated as God se goza contigo, which is Spanish for, ahem, ahem…  “God is having sexual pleasure with you.”

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a very uncomfortable proposition –and one that does not make me want to attend church any time soon.

hat tip: Le Chanclé

McDonald’s ‘Boliviarian’ Menu Replaces Fries with Yuquitas

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Yuquitas Venezuela

You know things are tough in Venezuela when hundreds of local McDonald’s restaurants decide to drop French fries from their menu.

Per the local press, more than 100 McDonald’s establishments in Venezuela have pretty much taken off French fries from their combos, claiming a nationwide shortage of potatoes.

But Venezuelans shouldn’t despair. After all, fries are being replaced by a “Bolivarian menu,” which features yuquitas, a good-enough replacement based on  the ubiquitous, certainly more affordable yuca, — and hopefully less deadly than the chemically-altered McDonald’s papitas. 

As my grandmother used to say: No sólo de papas fritas vive el hombre. So, stop complaining, have some yuquitas.

Taco Bell Wants the ‘Taco Emoji’ to Look Like this

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The proposed taco emoji by Taco Bell
The proposed taco emoji by Taco Bell

Taco Bell has launched a campaign through the site Change.org to push for the creation (ASAP) of a taco emoji, because as Taco Bell — and yours truly — knows, this is really a really top priority and stuff.

Per Taco Bell’s formal petition before the Unicode Consortium, a non-profit that regulates the coding standards for written computer text that includes emojis:

The taco emoji is a potential candidate for the release, but we need your help convincing them THE TACO EMOJI NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

I’m not the one to criticize such noble effort; in fact, I’ve been pushing for “culturally-relevant” emojis for some time time. But Taco Bell — and the Unicode Consortium — must understand a taco emoji couldn’t possibly look like the one above (Exhibit A).

A taco emoji should look like this. (Exhibit B)

A taco emoji should resemble this
A taco emoji should resemble this

So speaking about priorities and without further ado, let’s vote, shall we?

The Top Ten Reasons Why Everyone Should Spend New Year’s Eve in Mexico City

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zocaloI first started this list in 2010, and — fortunately for me and a few million other chilangos –— it stands intact.

So, in the most old-fashioned Letterman-style countdown, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Everybody Should Welcome the New Year in Mexico City.

1. You can ice-skate in the middle of the Zócalo. For free.

2. Mexico City was the first Latin American city to have legalized gay marriage (not that I plan to marry a gal there. Yet.)

3. There are virtually no illegal Mexicans there (we’re all documented…sort of)

4. We think homophobes are just like Hitler

5. You can say “Happy New Year!” a full 2 hours before they do so in California

6. Our churches still know how to protect their sanctity

7. You can swear up to 20 times a day there

8. Chilangos beat the hell out of the English in group smooch

9. We have awesomely named sushi trucks…

sushingon_ivans1

and last, but not least:

10. Street taco makers will do anything to protect your health

Got other reasons? Share them with me and see you in 2016.

¡Feliz Año Nuevo!