This Fine Restaurant in Arizona Might Want to Consider a Name Change

Good luck marketing this thing to Spanish speakers…

Shopping for a wedding venue in Arizona?

Well, there’s this fine place at the base of Camelback Mountain offering “breathtaking views, impeccable service and an unforgettable experience,” –and judging from the pictures found on their Website, it looks like it delivers on its promise.

However, you might want to consider not inviting any Spanish-speaking friends (especially Mexicans) to your event, unless you want them to spend their time cracking up jokes behind your back or simply avoiding the food in fear of catching this dreadful malady.

GOP Congresswoman Eats Pozole Pizza and I Can’t Even…

GOP Congresswoman Debbie Lesko, from Arizona, took to Twitter to show off her very own Arizona Pozole Pizza, a weird concoction made specially for her by the local D.C. Pizzeria Paradiso.

Filing this under ‘guácatelas’

The stunt was part of  Pizzeria Paradiso’s United States of Pizza: Women’s Slice of the Pie, a “rotating weekly menu of state-themed pies honoring and highlighting elected female officials per state,” –apparently because International’s Women Month and thus the pozole thing.

As if I needed one more reason to despise Republicans… (¡guácala!)

Via: The Eagle

OMG! Even Jorge Ramos Thinks His Skin Color Could Get Him into Trouble in Arizona

If you are still unconvinced about how bad things are in Arizona, consider this. Even our very own Jorge Ramos, Univision’s cute-as-a-button, blond and blue-eyed news anchor, fears he could be stopped in Arizona because of the color of his skin.

In his Aug. 2 syndicated column, Ramos expressed a little relief about Judge Susan Bolton issuing an injunction to suspend some of the most controversial parts of the SB1070 Law:

“[…] Otherwise, I would not have felt quite as comfortable walking in downtown Phoenix the other day without my passport or driver’s license. Some police officers’ suspicions might have been aroused by my brown skin and slight accent…”

Not sure about the accent thing -yet- but if you think you look a bit browner than this guy, be afraid, be very afraid!

As Arizona’s Passage of the SB1070 Becomes Imminent, I Worry for the Future of Miss Caliente

With Arizona’s sb1070 set to take effect Thursday, nobody has been able to inform this blogger what will become of the state’s annual Miss Caliente pageant, that “unforgettable event that places the strength of Latina woman in the spotlight.”

I’m totally making this up My sources tell me the pageant this year will undergo a slight change of name to make sure these señoritas are all Legally Hot. Starting 2010, the Miss Caliente Pageant will become Miss Legally Caliente Pageant.

[Oh, and as for their skin color, I wouldn’t worry too much about them being pulled over by the local cops: these ladies seem to have mastered the art of hair coloring.]

Arpaio Goes to Univision… and He Is Armed!

Univision this Friday hosted an unprecedented town hall on immigration, Inmigración: Un Debate Nacional featuring some of the country’s most prominent figures on immigration law and public policy, representatives of Hispanic organizations and -who else? Maricopa County Sheriff Mr. Joe Arpaio, who couldn’t resist showing up wearing a gun-shaped tie pin.

Unless he was at the Univision Studios auditioning for the upcoming Hermanos Almada movie, I would start thinking this guy is dangerous… Oh, wait, he IS dangerous!

¡Ay, nanita!

Club América to Arizona: “No Fut for You!”

Full disclosure: I am a Pumas fan. But as the sensible person that I am not, I would like to personally thank Club América and Tuzos de Pachuca for their decision to cancel a soccer match that was scheduled for July 7 in Arizona. According to an official release sent out by Mexico City-based Club América and re-printed by the Phoenix Business Journal:

“Club America would like to inform you that due to the latest developments regarding the new immigration bill… our team will not participate in any friendly match during the preseason 2010 within the state of Arizona.”

Way to go, Águilas. Now… Go, Pumas!

Chandler, Arizona Celebrates Cinco de Mayo With Chihuahua Race. Whoof! Catch Them if you Can

Enough with the bad news hailing from Nazi Arizona. Residents of Chandler, AZ. are ready for their Cinco de Mayo celebration, which this year will include a Chihuahua race scheduled to take place in the courtyard of the downtown Chandler Public Library. According to the contest’s organizers:

“To participate, dogs must be purebred Chihuahuas, have current vaccinations and must be on leash when not racing.”

No word yet on how the local police plans to check the pets’ legal status, but since Chandler belongs to Maricopa County, I’m sure they’ll find a way.

Whoof! Whoof! catch them if you can!

Arizona’s Immigration Bill Opens World of Business Opportunities for this Blogger

After several days ruminating about what to do and how to go about Arizona’s sb1070s, this blogger decided to take the creative route and embrace the entrepreneurial spirit that only “America” can offer its immigrants.

So, without further ado… here is my latest creation and what I believe will become my main source of income starting today and until I get caught -and punished- by the migra for making fun of anti-immigration laws.

[I just hope it will be as popular as my previous one]

Attention, Immigrants: Coming Up on the War Against Us: The SUV-Mounted Gun

If you thought anti-immigration efforts were going to stop at racial profiling and sending of UFO’s to the border, think again.

The new tool against the war on us, immigrants, is the Dillon Aero SUV Mounted Gun, a “high-powered rifle mounted on top of law enforcement trucks.”

Proudly introduced this year at the Border Security Expo in -where else? Arizona- this baby can blast up to 3,000 bullets per minute, which we figure should be enough to help Ms. Brewer rid her State of unwanted gardeners, cooks, janitors, bus boys, etc.

After all, as the company’s tag line goes:

“He who shoots the fastest. Wins.”

¡Ay, nanita!