NBC Preps ‘The Wall,’ a Show Featuring a Yuuuuuge Wall

wallnbc

NBC, the network that brought us The Apprentice and other similar calamities, is set to premiere The Wall, a new game show produced by NBA superstar LeBron James and hosted by Chris Hardwick.

Per NBC itself, The Wall is “the fastest and simplest game,” and it consists of — yes, you guessed it! — a yuuuuge wall built for one purpose: “To change people’s lives.”

Call me crazy but I don’t think this is exactly a good time to launch anything that looks and/or sounds as “a wall that will change people’s lives.”

I mean, HELLO!

Via: Deadline.com

 

The Wait is Over: ‘Telenovela’ Premieres December 7 on NBC

telenovela

Eva Longoria (aka La Prieta Faya and this blogger’s favorite retroacculturated Latina) is like super excited, because NBC on Monday Dec. 7 will premiere Telenovela, a 13-episode comedy that promises a lot of drama along with “passion, betrayal and raw sexuality.”

As this blog reported earlier, the show tells the story of a telenovela star who doesn’t speak Spanish, which is just perfect, since we all know Ms. Longoria is not particularly fluent in the language of Cervantes.

I will watch at least the first episode of this thing (for research purposes, you know?). But I still think it’s a pity NBC didn’t cast Erick Estrada as her co-star in Telenovela. After all Mr. Estrada is the only actual telenovela actor who was able to get away with making an entire telenovela despite his very poor command of Spanish.

See? This is what NBC viewers will be missing.

This is What I Call ‘Product Dis-Placement’: Mr. Chevy Chase Does Not Seem to Like My Book

Ok, Ok, I might not be a fan of NBC’s Community (in fact, I never watched it before today.) But in a recent episode the character portrayed by Mr. Chevy Chase was featured falling asleep, bored out of his mind after apparently having read this blogger’s opera prima.

I mean… I am no Marcel Proust, but come on, Mr. Chase!… Why the mala onda? Couldn’t NBC pick on someone else? Or, as my mom used to say, ¡Póngase con uno de su tamaño!

[Anyhow, gracias, pinche Chevy Chase, for the anti-endorsement.] 

Empire State Building Goes Red to Honor Hispanics [Sort of]

See the red? It's a Telemundo thing!
See the red? It’s a Telemundo thing!

If you still don’t believe me when I say Spanish-speakers rule New York, you might want to keep an eye on the Empire State building this coming Sunday, April 26, when it is set to go totally red in celebration of Telemundo 47 New York’s 50 year anniversary. Yes, and it’s not a joke, my friends.

Per a press release quoting the great Cristina Schwarz (a personal friend, mind you)…

“On the evening of Sunday, April 26, viewers from all across the New York Tri-State area will be able to look up to the beacon of our skyline as it beams in red, in honor of our station’s past and the promise of our future as we reaffirm our commitment to be the first informers our communities demand and deserve.”

I don’t know you, but as a proud Hispanic, I’ll be anxiously waiting for the red lights to go up and then tune in my TV set to … Mad Men.*

*It’s nothing against Telemundo, really. I just need to know what’s going to happen with Don Draper’s sombrero,

Miss Universe was Hugely Popular on TV, and I Know Why

A few seconds before Paulina Vega is crowned Miss Universe by the outgoing Gabriel Isler as seeing on stage (LEFT) and on TV.
A few seconds before Paulina Vega is crowned Miss Universe by the outgoing Miss Universe Gabriel Isler as seeing live on stage (Left, boring) and on TV (right, hot) with the proper backlight.

Miss Universe, that annual parade of young, pretty -and pretty shallow- women, which for some reason continues to be very popular, took place last night in Florida, making some ratings history for NBC and it’s Spanish-language network Telemundo, which aired the pageant in English and Spanish, respectively.

While NBC reported the 63rd Annual Miss Universe averaged 7.6 million viewers over three hours, Telemundo said 4.7 million people tuned in to watch the broadcast in Spanish.

Both figures are indeed impressive, but easy to understand when you consider how much sexier the whole thing is on television than watching it live from a local university in Florida –which by the way might be the closest any of these señoritas will ever get to a higher education institution.

H/t: @aqwack

Eva Longoria to Star in NBC Show about a Latina who doesn’t Speak Spanish — of Course

eva-longoria-telenovela-star

Eva Longoria (aka as La Prieta Faya and this blogger’s favorite retroacculturated Latina) has been tapped as the star of Telenovela, a 13-episode NBC comedy slated for the 2015-2016 TV season.

The decision to pick Longoria wouldn’t be more appropriate: The show tells the story of a telenovela actress who doesn’t speak Spanish, and we all know that while Ms. Longoria is not a telenovela star, she is indeed extremely challenged when it comes to the language of Cervantes.

I can’t wait to not watch for the show to start. However, it’s a pity NBC didn’t cast Mr. Erick Estrada as her co-star in this thing. After all he’s the only actual telenovela actor I know who ever got away with making a telenovela despite his very poor command of Spanish.

See? This is what NBC viewers will be missing.

National Latino Media Coalition Thinks ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX Not Diverse. Thank God for Hispanic TV

This week the National Latino Media Coalition (NLMC) scolded the nation’s top broadcast networks for not embracing diversity (i.e. mostly for failing to employ more Latinos in front of and behind the camera.) In a press conference on Tuesday in Los Angeles, Alex Nogales, president & CEO of the NLMC said that:

“This was a terrible year for Latinos at the networks. African Americans and Asian Pacific Americans posted impressive gains in most categories, but when it came to Latinos, the networks failed us. Don’t misunderstand, we don’t want what African Americans and Asian Pacific Americans received, the pie is much larger than that, we only want what we deserve as the largest minority consumer population in the nation.”

Well said, Mr. Nogales! But I wouldn’t hold my breath too long if I were you… Last time I checked, even the main Hispanic networks insisted on drawing their top talent from some sort of Swedish incubator.

Is the U.S. Ready for ‘President Martínez?’ NBC Says Yes! [Well, Not Really]

I looooove television! Because only on TV you get to see fantastic things that would never happen in real life.

Take NBC’s upcoming thriller The Event, which was presented this week as one of the “biggest television events of the upcoming fall season.”

The conspiracy thriller follows Sean Walker (Jason Ritter) who is investigating the disappearance of his fiancé, Leila thereby “exposing the biggest cover-up in U.S. History.” Mind you, all of this is happening while a black, Latino president occupies the White House: President Martínez. Yay!

…Except, of course, that in the world of television, President Martínez is portrayed by Blair Underwood, a non-Latino actor. Perhaps that is because in the near future -and thanks to Ms. Brewer y sus compinches– there will be not many dark, skinned Latino people left to portray Latinos on television.

Who knows? This blogger is already rejoicing with the possibility of having a primo en la Casa Blanca.

Good Lord! Procter & Gamble Preps ‘Pedro & María,’ a Hispanic Version of ‘Romeo & Juliet’

And just when you thought Hispanic television couldn’t get any more entertaining [read it with irony, please] former NBC exec Ben Silverman is ready to give us a new telenovela (both in English and Spanish) to be called Pedro & María, and billed as “modern-day version of Romeo & Juliet.”

The show will be brought to you by Procter & Gamble (which the press continues to call “Proctor & Gamble“) and “will give its audience the ability to vote on the direction the characters and story lines take.”

So, without further ado, here’s my vote: Have Pedro and María take a swig of poison during the first episode and spare us the whole thing. Will you?

As for “Hispanic” adaptations of Romeo & Juliet, this blogger will stick to her favorite one, the one and only, brought to you by Mario Moreno Reyes himself.