This blogger will be taking some time off to embark on a food and drink rampage spiritual retreat to plan for the year ahead and thank my paisanos for all the hard work and for enduring stuff like this, this and this on a daily basis.
Also, I wanted you to know I’m officially kicking off the Guajolote-Reyes marathon, which runs from Thursday Nov. 26 and all the güey through January 6, 2021.
Kia Latino, which is like regular Kia but Latino, has given us some marketing jewels in the past, including the use of female mariachis to show they really, really, care about my people (i.e. The Hispanics) and diversity. And now, they want to remind us that Thanksgiving is a great time of the year to be thankful.
Thankful for… the specs of our cars, naturally.
Take the following Twitter ad, in which we find our “typical” Latino family passing around –what else?– tamales during what looks to be a very special Thanksgiving meal. The exchange (in an accented Spanish) goes something like this:
-Ramiro, what are you thankful for?
-I’m thankful for the engine, and its 240 horsepower; the heated seats and the heated steering wheel… an 8-inch smart touchscreen…
I’m a bit suspicious about these particular Latinos as I would only be thankful for tamales. But hey, that’s me!
Let’s be honest: Just as any other holiday, Thanksgiving has become mostly another good reason to eat and drink in excess (at least in my case.)
But if a 3 pm “dinner” of turkey, pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce seems a little boring to you, you can always throw a “Latino Thanksgiving,” which basically means a three-day smörgåsbord of lechón, tamales, arroz, frijoles, elote, tostones, tequila, poker games — and plenty of dancing and family drama.
If any of the above sounds exciting enough, you are in luck.
Here are 8 SIMPLE STEPS to turn your regular Thanksgiving into a Latino one:
Turkey? Who eats turkey? Run to the closest bodega and pick the biggest lechón available. Roast and stuff an apple on its mouth while you’re at it.
Cranberry sauce? We don’t even know what that is. Get a mojo going or start a guajillo marinade for said lechón
Start with plenty of tamales and make sure to serve rice, beans, gandules, tostones and/or plantains on the side.
Pumpkin? Who eats pumpkin? Really. Pumpkin is only good when you use its flowers to make one of these.
Start serving dinner at 10 pm, because, really, who has dinner at 3 pm?
Once the meal is over, and liters of alcohol have been consumed, be ready for your mother, tía or abuela to start crying inconsolably over you not visiting more often, etc.
No football. Who watches football? It’s not like it’s fútbol… Take out the baraja, the poker chips and open up the wallet.
Turn up the music and dance like maniacs all night long. And do not worry about thy neighbor. Thy neighbor should be thankful to have a Latino family around. After all, what is Thanksgiving if not an opportunity to say gracias?
A Spanish-language version of this blog post first appeared on Univision.com
This blogger will be taking some time off to embark on a food and drink rampage spiritual retreat to plan for the year ahead and thank my paisanos for all the hard work and for enduring stuff like this and this on a daily basis.
As for this blogger, she’s officially kicking off the GUAJOLOTE-REYES marathon, which runs from Nov. 25th and all the güey through January 6, 2015.
In the latest installment of the “How to Turn your Gringo Holiday into a Relevant Latino Holiday,” series, I give you Tamalegiving, a simple -yet delicious- way to turn Thanksgiving Day into Tamalegiving Day instead.
Watch a very cute, acculturated Guatemalan-American kid saying “guácala” to his mom’s gallina as he makes his case for a Thanksgiving full of tamales. Oh, sí.
Alas, I’m more of a ‘Tacogiving’ type of person. But hey, that’s me!