Mexicans Stealing the Wall is Everyone’s Favorite Story of 2019

Hey, Mexicans are securing their walls with stolen razor wire –paid by Americans

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. Turns out Mexicans at the U.S. border are literally stealing the razor wire put there by Trump officials to beef up security and selling it to local residents for as little as $2 (“40 pesitos, marchanta!“)

According to The Guardian, residents of barrios abutting the border told XETW 12 television in Tijuana that entrepreneurial individuals have offered to sell them the stolen concertina wire and install it for just 40 pesos per home – barely $2.

The bad news is that people are already been arrested for stealing concertina wire along the border, BUT on the upside, this is already the favorite story of some high-profile media people, including –of course– yours truly. HA HA HA HA (or as we say in Mexicou: JA JA JA JA JA.)

Via: The Guardian

Mexican Entrepreneurship Knows No Limits – Green Energy Edition

Say what you will about my people (i.e. The Mexicans) but they’re just always striving for a better country –and planet.

Take the latest narcotunnel, found on the U.S.-Mexico border, which not only features awesome ventilation and lighting, but works with –wait for it– solar energy.

Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?

Dispatch from Guanatos: Óscar Gutierrez

Cinco de Mayo: America’s Stupidest Holiday Is Almost Here!

Americans: How can anyone not like them?
Americans: How can anyone not like them?

Awwww, Cinco de Mayo.

No matter how many bizarre holidays Americans come up with, Cinco de Mayo will forever be my favorite one. And not only because it’s an excuse to drink all day and yell ¡Viva México! while thinking it’s our celebration of Independence (it’s not.) But it is also the time of year that brings out the stupidest most creative marketing brains to sell Americans everything, from DIY printable fiesta kits and taquito shooters (whatever that is,) to senseless drink mixes, “ethnic food” and even life-size cardboard Mexicans as scene setters.

This time around, though, in honor of that amazing marketing took known as Twitter, I’ve put together a few tweets making their way to my timeline.

NOTE: We’re still a full week away from the actual fiesta and this list will be updated in the following days, but let’s get to it right away, shall we? 

1. This mariachi-themed pitch from BelVita

2. How about some taquito shooters?

3. Old El Paso’s Suspicious-Looking ‘Tacos’

4. Go ahead, print your own fiesta kit

The craziness is such, that even Whole Foods London is jumping on the Cinco de Mayo wagon:

5. Wait, what? Whole Foods London?

6. Or… Sombrero Cinco de Mayo Cookies

7. José Olé Cinco Savings Coming Soon

8. Taco Bell, of course

Last but not least, the King of Ruining Mexican Food, Taco Bell, has already announced plans to introduce a new hot sauce on Cinco de Mayo called Diablo. The sauce, says Taco Bell, will only be available for a limited time and it’s made with a variety of peppers, including ají panca, chipotle and chili. Here it is, in all its GIF glory.

 

I don’t know about you, but at this point in my life, the only Cinco de Mayo thing worth watching is this one.

 

‘Time’ Puts Mexico’s President on Cover. Hilarity Ensues.

sellingMexico

Time Magazine had the super terrific idea to put Mexico’s President Enrique Peña Nieto on the cover of its Feb. 24 cover (most likely knowing that it would stir controversy, especially among my people.)

While I’m not going to get all political or bitchy here as I would like too (who has the time?) I just wanted to take the opportunity to highlight -once again- how wonderfully witty Mexicans can be.

The following are only very few of the many ‘memes’ already making the rounds on the Internet. Enjoy!

I don’t know you but