Tag: Walmart

Celebrate Mexican Independence Like the Locals

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I hope by now you are aware that Cinco de Mayo is NOT Mexico’s Independence Day. Sixteen of September is, and the bash actually kicks off on the night of the 15, so by the time the 16 actually arrives, everybody is just too drunk to remember anything.

I might be a gringa now, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still a Mexican, so I decided to put together a quick list of the Five Things you Must Do to Celebrate El Grito in this increasingly globalized country.

1. Buy a Made-in-China Mexican flag

2. Go to your nearest Walmart and stock up on the cheapest non-Agave Tequila. (The real thing is too expensive for the average Mexican, and its production is already exclusive for exporting to gringos.)

3. Tell your wife you want your pozole spicy, even if she cannot afford to buy meat anymore.

4. Tune in the Canal de las Estrellas to witness our pathetic president yell ¡Viva México! repeatedly

5. Yell ¡Viva México! — repeatedly — right after our pathetic president. Hopefully by this time you’ll be too wasted on the fake-Tequila methanol to feel any shame.

Repeat as many times necessary until you feel a true patriotic fervor.

¡Viva México! ¡Viva México! ¡Viva México!

BONUS:

If anything else fails, go get a Texican Whopper or a Quesalupa. See you on the 16th as everyone will be most likely be puking somewhere.

Americans Think we are Nostalgic for… Electric Quesadillas

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Plus: What’s with that sad avocado on the side?

Ever felt nostalgic about your abuela’s electric quesadillas? ….

Well, not me, but if you are among those weird, improbable, nostalgic Hispanics who grew up eating flour-tortilla quesadillas made on an electric contraption, the folks of Nostalgia Electrics have you covered.

Introducing the Nostalgia Electric Quesadilla Fiesta Maker, a “unique hot plate designed to create 6 sectional pieces that seal in the flavorful ingredients.” Heck, it even features a two-position latch that allows for thin *or* thick quesadillas!

This thing is “only” $19.99 in BestBuy (sad avocado and chili pepper NOT included) and YES, it says Fiesta somewhere in there.

Fiesta, but of course!

Hat tip: Monica Pieces

Are You Ready for Pringles Tortillas?

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pringles-tortilla-chips

Only one day after I discovered -in horror- the existence of the Frito-stuffed Chicken Enchilada Melt, I learned that Pringles is quietly introducing a a new line of chips called Pringles Tortillas.

In case you’re wondering, (I’m sure you are) the Pringles tortilla chips come in three flavors: Truly Original, Nacho Cheese, and Southwestern Ranch. You might also want to know (I do) that Walmart also carries “Zesty Salsa” as an exclusive flavor.

To promote the Pringles Tortillas, the company is using the tagline Pop, Crunch, Olé! because as everybody knows, “Olé” is a typical Spanish expression that Spanish-speaking people in Spanish-speaking Spain use while enjoying a really good tortilla…

Oh, no… Wait.

Never mind.

Move Over, Barbie! El Chavo Is Coming to a Store Near You

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ChavoToys

And you thought Mexico’s only contribution to this glorious country were tacos, salsa and drug-related violence…

Starting mid-August a new line of El Chavo toys will be available at major U.S. retailers, including Toys R Us, Kmart, Walmart and -ahem, ahem- Target, the corporation behind this awesome Hispanic guide targeted to non-Hispanics who wish to understanding Hispanics.

I don’t know you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on a tiny plush version of La Popis or Doña Florinda, which I’m sure are all going to be Made-in-China, but isn’t everything Made-in-China these days?

[I’d take a Ñoño doll a hundred times over this other one]