I’m pretty sure I’m going to be driven out of West Harlem very soon, as the hood becomes more sophisticated (i.e. expensive/trendy/stupid) by the minute.

On the heels of the new avocado-experts in town, comes Sofrito, a fancy eatery billing itself as “A Taste of Puerto Rico in the heart of NYC.”

The place – which offers dramatic views of the George Washington Bridge – features $14 glasses of bad wine; $19 ropa vieja and adds a 20 percent tip on your bill (whether you like it or not.)

I like my expensive, nonsensical meals and drinks with a view

I went to check it out and was mostly tempted by the “Latin Asian Corner,” which features things like seafood with leche the tigere [sic] and a $12 Chino Latino Roll, whose latinidad comes – I guess – from the “Spice shrimp” and the cilantro.

My review: “Meh. I’m heading back to the taco truck.”

Editor’s Note: Yeah, I’m using emojis on headlines now.