No, Twitter, I Don’t Think the ‘Enchilada Bake’ Is a Good Idea

I cannot unsee this thing!
Someone really wants me to shut down my Twitter account.

For reasons I have yet to understand, my “tailor-made,” “just-for-me” sponsored posts on Twitter have become an endless stream of disgusting “Mexican” concoctions. The latest comes courtesy of SmartMade, a company that prides itself on selling “delicious and nutritional frozen meals inspired by the quality ingredients and smart cooking techniques you use at home.”

I don’t know about you, but there is nothing smart in the so-called Bake Enchilada, a “meal” made of a “soft corn tortilla topped with black beans, roasted corn, red peppers and tomatoes lightly tossed in an enchilada sauce and topped with Monterey jack cheese.”

Oh, and don’t get me started on the Mexican style pulled pork

So, there’s that, Twitter, not only I will not be clicking on that thing. I think an apology might be in order.

This Guy Wanted to Build a Wall in his Restaurant Because Hispanics Don’t Tip 😂

“Give MI a break,” says Wayte.

Poor Steve Wayte.

The owner of a weirdly named sushi restaurant in California is under fire after making a joke that some of my people (i.e. Fast & Furious Hispanics) DID. NOT. FIND. FUNNY.

The joke? Upon realizing that Hispanics tend to not leave tips in his restaurant, Wayte wrote the following on his Facebook page:

As expected, the Fury of Twitter descended on the poor guy, who had to apologize like 100 times, first on social media and then on national television, saying he did not mean any harm.

But none of this mattered, of course, because last time I checked, a local politician named Henry Perea was still pretty pissed and calling for a boycott of — are you ready? — Roll One For Mi.

Come on, people. Give Steve a break! Today for MI, tomorrow for USTEDES.

Via: Fresno Bee

Mexican Chef Creates $25,000 Taco, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore


How much would you pay for shrimp, caviar, truffle and 24 carat gold flakes stuffed in a corn tortilla?

How about $25,000?

Well, that’s the price of the world’s most expensive taco, a creation of Mexican chef Juan Licerio Alcalá and one no one has ordered — yet.

According to my super secret sources (i.e. Yahoo News,) Licerio, the chef at the ultra luxurious Grand Velas Los Cabos Resort in Baja California, created this thing because he wanted to “think outside the box.”

“People are excited and a little surprised about how you can eat a taco for $25,000 ($497,000 pesos) when you can find one on the street for 10 pesos,” he said.

Well, as a non-wealthy, non-luxurious, taco-loving real Mexican, the explanation is simple: Licerio – and the hotel where he works – cater to a mostly NON-Mexican crowd, the same one that would pay top dollars for a Deluxe Mexican Yoga Mat or a $1,300 Swarovski-embellished Taco Purse. Not my people. I’m sure…

[FACE PALM]

Hat tip: @tropicarlitos

Bride Makes Wedding Gown out of Taco Bell Burrito Wrappers, Because some People Want me Dead

These "Burritos" are in Love
Burritos in Love

Some people want to watch the world burn — and/or see this blogger jump from the highest building in Manhatitlán.

Here’s the scoop: Bride-to-be Diane Nguyen posted the above photo on her Instagram feed showing a wedding gown made out of … Taco Bell burrito wrappers (hopefully unused.)

And no, apparently she isn’t that crazy; she’s just vying to win a Taco Bell contest where fans of the eatery submit photos or brief videos showing why they should win a free wedding at the Taco Bell Cantina in Las Vegas. (Oh, OK I take that back. She is crazy.)

You guys know how I feel about Taco Bell, but I confess this bride’s writing was actually not as bad as her taste in food:

“Our love for each other is as cheesy as a quesadilla,” she wrote. “We’re nachos getting married, it’s going to be a Las Vegas tacover. Lettuce celebrate our love at the Taco Bell Chapel in Vegas, cuz we are ready to guac and roll.”

Via: CNET en Español

Conan Goes to Mexico, Handles Street Tacos Like a Boss

conantacos

You might not be aware of this, but Conan O’Brien is in Mexico City, thus having much better food — and fun — than the rest of us.

This week, as part of his ongoing Mexico City adventure, the famed TV presenter was spotted sharing a few street tacos with none other than Jorge Ramos, the Univision anchor who managed to pissed off Trump way before the rest of the “evil, flailing media” did.

Anyhow, Conan Without Borders: Made In Mexico premieres Wednesday, March 1st on TBS and this blogger cannot wait.

Via: Milenio

Texans Want to Make Tacos the National Food of Texas. I’m Totally Cool with that, But…

tacostexas

A new change.org petition wants Texans to embrace the taco as a new official state symbol, because — as everybody knows — the taco is a waaaay more diverse dish than chili, the state dish of Texas since 1977. (Think about it: You can actually put chili in a tortilla and… call it a taco!)

So, yes, I’m 100 percent behind these folks’ claims about the wonderfulness of tacos (how could I not be?) but before I sign this petition, I just have a quick question:

When are we (the Mexicans) expected to get the state back?**

Via: Dallas Morning News 

Photo: Tacos of Texas/Facebook

** Thank you in advance for your prompt response

Florida Woman Sues Mexican Restaurant After Falling off a Fake Donkey, Because Florida

burro

What happens when Americans go to a Mexican restaurant in… America? They climb on fake donkey; attempt to take picture; fall off said donkey; file lawsuit.

According to local media, Kimberly Bonn was dining at the El Jalisco restaurant in Tallahassee when she attempted to climb atop a built-to-scale burro statue to pose for a picture. But as she attempted to mount it, Bonn slipped off the statue and broke her back. She is claiming that the restaurant as it fault for the accident due to a lack of safety features, such as a “steps, a ladder, or a non-slip saddle.”

Bonn is now seeking damages of more than $15,000, but it’s not going to be an easy battle.

The restaurant’s most loyal customers have launched a social media campaign in support of the burro: The campaign, under the very appropriate banner ofJust Because I’m an a**, it doesn’t mean I have to be treated like one,” is quickly gaining supporters, including this blogger, of course.

Because, really, how can you not be with El burro on this one?

Via: Periódico ABC

Hat tip: @SaltaSolt

I Can’t ‘Wrap’ my Head Around the Half Mexican Chicken

halfmexicanchicken
What happened to the other half of the Mexican?

Let’s forget for one second that most of the ingredients on this “thing” look everything but Mexican…

What I really need to know is: Is this London food market selling us a chicken that is half Mexican? If so, what’s the other half? British?

Or is this a 100-percent-Mexican chicken that’s being sold in halves? 🤔

Baffling.

Photo: London Poultry Correspondent, @KentGerman

Tamales Know no Borders

... and they're only $1.50 each!
… and they’re only $1.50 each!

The so-called President can say whatever he wants, and build a wall as big as his ego, but my people continue to make this blogger (and many more Mexicans) very happy on this side of the border.

Photo: Laura Martínez, 2017. Harlem

Anheuser-Busch Debuts Bad ‘Mexican’ Beer with an Even Worse Commercial

jaliscopromo

Estrella Jalisco, a beer brand you’ve never heard of (and one you should probably never drink) has decided to make its U.S. debut by pitching its own idea of “mexicanidad,” namely turning a regular American neighborhood into an animated fiesta, complete with charros, mariachis and papel picado.

The spot is as bad as you could expect from a “Mexican” beer concocted by Anheuser-Busch InBev, purveyors of everything but “mexicanidad.”

Anyhow…

WATCH. CRINGE. DO NOT REPEAT

Meatless Chorizo Wins ‘Best Meat’ Award at Trader Joe’s, Because Vegans

chorizo

The results are in and the winner of  this year’s Trader Joe’s Annual Customer Choice Award in the category of Best Meat is….

Soy Chorizo!

Yes, the “vegetarian-friendly version of traditional Mexican sausage,” has been hailed by Trader Joe’s customers as the best meat ever, beating meatless meatballs, ground turkey, chicken sausage and — the horror — grass-fed Angus Beef.

This might seem like a crime but there is a world out there of people who will eat meatless chorizo — for some reason.

Or …is this just real chorizo saying in Spanish that it is, well, CHORIZO?

Hat tip: Chris Allieri

Mexico’s Top Diplomat Wins First Prize in Guacamole Competition, Because Mexico

Claudia Ruiz Massieu was the lucky winner of the country's 2016 #RetoGuacamole
Claudia Ruiz Massieu was the lucky winner of the country’s 2016 #RetoGuacamole

Claudia Ruiz Massieu, Mexico’s Secretary of Foreign Affairs, beat a bunch of other cabinet members in the challenging task of… preparing a guacamole.

The stunt, known in social media simply as the Guacamole Challenge (#RetoGuacamole) officially kicked off the 2016 edition of the nation’s Food Show. This blogger can only anticipate some great diplomacy coming from her birth country in the next few years, as our leaders prepare to face the Orange Clown.

Via: Milenio

This Mexican Town Will Give you a Tax Break if you Lose Weight

mexico-sobrepeso

You can accuse my people (i.e. The Mexicans) of being lazy and all, but there is one thing we truly excel at: Fiscal Policy Innovation.

Take the town of San Nicolás de los Garza, in Northern Mexico, which is inviting property owners to a weight-loss program whose goal is to shed 10 kilograms or more during a 10-week period. The reward? A family whose combined weight loss totals 10 kilos or more will get a 50 percent credit on their 2017 taxes.

I think that is a really awesome program, especially in a state known for its world-class cabrito, which would make any property owner think twice before embracing any type of weight-loss challenge.

Personally, I do not plan to lose weight, nor quit cabrito any time soon, so it’s a great thing I don’t own property after all.

Via: Excelsior

Got the Election Blues? Have a ‘Bad Hombres’ Burrito; Wash it Down with Mexican Coca-Cola

corazon

Say what you will about you-know-who* but you cannot deny he has given my people (i.e. The Mexicans *and* The Funny People) plenty to work with.

Take the Bad Hombres burrito, spotted in Portland, Maine, which according to their creators sold out 2 hours after putting it on the menu the day after the last debate.

I can only hope the lucky ones to get their hands on one were able to wash it down with a Mexican Coca-Cola, to further spitte you-know-who*.

*Starting today, this blogger will do her best to stop mentioning this individual by name. 

Via: El Corazón